A/N: I take half credit for writing this. (Maybe even more) :D My sister helped.

Interview with a grandma:

Codi and ZC ~ Co-hosts

Random grandma ~ 70 year old guest

ZC: Welcome to Interview with a grandma! Our first guest comes from Alabama, USA! Please welcome... Agnes Able!

Agnes: *walks up on stage. There is much cheering as she sits across from Codi and ZC*

Codi: Hello Agnes, I'm Codi Cathy Lee. This is my partner, ZC Regis. Are you ready to begin the interview?

Agnes: Yeaaah, my bones.

ZC: Come again?

Agnes: I'm ready for questioning.

ZC and Codi: First question. *they stare at each other*

Codi: I'M doing the first question, thank you very much!

ZC: *grumbles and sits back in her chair*

Codi: So, Agnes - I hear you're seventy? How was your 69th year, since it's already passed?

Agnes: Ehhhh? Worst year of my life.

ZC: Please elaborate.

Agnes: On my birthday, first thing that happened when I woke up, was I threw out my back.

Codi: Sooo... your back crapped out?

Agnes: Did it ever! When I finally got my cat to dial 911, I had lost feeling in my toes!

ZC: Your... toes?

Agnes: Yep! Haven't got the feeling back in 'em yet!

Codi: What do your toes have to do with your back?

Agnes: Be quiet about things you don't understand, you young whippersnapper! As I was saying, after my cat called the ambulance, I singed off my eyebrows when I took off the lid of the pot to my good ol' asparagus soup! I forgot about steam, you see.

ZC: What does that have to do with old age?

Agnes: Brain cells! I lost all the ones that had to do with STEAM caution!

Codi: *quickly* Let's move on! Please explain to the middle-aged population, Agnes, how you can tell when you're getting old?

Agnes: You know you're getting old when you find yourself standing next to your car with your keys in your hand, but you can't remember whether you're going somewhere or you just got back... When you walk out to the parking lot of the mall, and not only did you forget where you parked, but you forgot what car you were driving. When... your daughter takes you out for dinner and the cashier takes one look and gives you BOTH senior discounts! When everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work! When you reach down to pull up your wrinkled stocking, and you realize that you don't have any on! When you raise your arm and realize your muscle is now on the bottom side! When you sit down at the breakfast table and the snap crackle pop you hear is not your breakfast cereal! When you bend over to tie your shoes and ask yourself... Is there anything else I need to do while I'm down here? That is what I face every day... THAT'S old.

Codi and ZC: *gawking*

ZC: Really...?

Agnes: Oh, something like that.

Codi: Whooooa-hoa-hoa-hoa-hoa!

Agnes: MY BONES! I don't think I can carry on, dearie's.

ZC: But - but the interview just began!

Codi: Yeah! We have to fill up a half an hour with dramatic crap like this!


ZC: Okay!... Okay. Thanks for your visit, Agnes. We appreciated your stay.

Codi: Ladies and gentlemen, that was Agnes Able. Please give her a round of applause for coming out here today to talk with us!

Crowd: *applauds - flowers are thrown*

Agnes: Thank you! Thank you! *stands up and bows over and over again*

ZC: Hey. Hey, wait a minute! If you're so old and weak, how are you able to bow like that?

Agnes: *giving a hearty cackle* It's the drama of television, you stupid kid!

ZC: *taken aback* What?

Agnes: That's right! I may be old! Yeah, I may be seventy! But now that the cameras are off, I can tell you who I REALLY am!

Codi: Who ARE you?

Agnes: I am the ultimate grandma exercise guru!

Crowd: *gasps*

Agnes: *tears off her granny outfit to reveal spunky workout garb* Eh heh heh!

Background music: *starts to play workout style*

Agnes: *runs to the middle of the stage and starts to jog jauntily in place* Everybody up! One two three four five six seven eight! And eight seven six five four three two one! Double time, go!

Crowd: *is up and doing her workout*

Agnes: Buy my video, and you can be in as great of shape as me!

Crowd: *runs up on stage to get copies of the video which Agnes has conveniently brought*

ZC: No! No! No retail during the show!

Agnes: Ah, but this is AFTER the show, dearie!

Codi: Ruined! We're RUINED! *writhes around on the floor*

ZC: Get a hold of yourself! *kicks her*

Codi: Ahhhh!

ZC: Ahhhhh! *they lunge for each other*

Agnes: *runs up to the camera* Turn that thing on!

Camera guy: Okay, okay, don't hurt me! *turns the camera on*

Agnes: Buy my product! It's only five easy payments of 105-

Codi and ZC: *roll off stage and into Agnes, who is thrown into the camera, which breaks. All anyone at home can see now is a black screen*

TV voice: We are experiences technical difficulties... We are now proceeding with emergency tests. this is a test, and only a test. *deep breath* Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-