Finite Circular Reasoning

On a mattress of complacency, I Breathing anxious air Thick With neurotic dreams Of schemes Reinforced by plotting And knotting Strands and bands Woven with these hands Supporting delusions of Illusions of Important things, I Resting on a bed hastily made By my demon-friend Doubt Contemplating Elevating my Expectations Aspirations Goals so perfect Sure to fail, I Tossing, turning Stomach churning Digesting arresting thoughts Holding my folding hand I bet the farm Back to the wall I risked it all Hoping, believing in Pain relieving My comfort in this Sleeping coffin, I Slip into dreams And realize That woman's lies Were nothing more Than fodder for The beast to feast On innocent Words I sent In letters I wrote Curled up with a pillow, I Relinquish attempts To extinguish contempt for my father Endless thinking Putrid stinking A carcass rotted far past Recognition Intuition it must be Useless thinking has been with me For years now Making me throw pointless punches, I Give up Spit up Grasping for raspy words I pray That one day Things I say Will have meaning beyond our Fondness for Dressing up Hate as fate Lust as trust Tears as fears Love as doves, Flying to somewhere warmer, I Bruise the tissue Of the issue "I will miss you," With a vicious blow Just to show that Those in the know Know, how cruel a tool a fool can be, With malicious intent Delicious resentment keeps me awake, I Orbit weariness Chase rest Raise quest-ions Of what and who Around or through Where and why Could I get high On the fumes in vacant rooms Once containing Thoughts sustaining Neurotic dreams Of schemes Reinforced by plotting And knotting Strands and bands Woven with these hands Supporting delusions of Illusions of Important things, I Sleep.