To all those offended by this please no flaming. I do believe in God and am not in any way against the church. It's just how I feel!

luv always,

Colleen

"Let us pray" the entire congregation's voices echoes throughout the churches vaulted ceilings. I roll my eyes and fold my hands as we begin the Apostles Creed. Pray I think, just pray. Praying is good for the mind and soul apparently. I do it often. But whom am I praying to is the question? God I suppose, or my version of him. The churches image of an 'almighty powerful and fearful' god just doesn't seem real to me. What kind of God would punish and frighten his merciful subjects? Not the sacred being I call my creator. I doubt 'The God' even exists. There is something. Maybe just the faith that we have binds us together. But all this 'I am not worthy of his greatness' is crap. Don't even get me started on the lie we call The Son of God; Jesus.

~*~If God is my witness then he must be blind~*~

My mother is nagging me again. We just left the church and her annoying voice in my ear is making me bonkers. I had the pervious week announced to my entire Confirmation class (ya know the class you have to take to be accepted into the Church as a adult and a child of god or something like that) that I don't think Jesus was the Son of God. So of course she is trying to convert me to Christianity again. Won't she just give it up? Its not like I'm an atheist! I have more hope and faith in the greater good than she will ever have most likely. She just doesn't want her mother to find out and her family think she's a bad mother! But that is not the point. Getting back to what I was saying, she was going on and on about how Jesus saved us and having faith means believing in Jesus and God, I of course zoned out using all of my energy to keep my mouth shut. Soon we were home again home again. Greeeaaattttt… another boring Sunday with nothing to do!

~*~Jesus doesn't love you…He's just trying to get you into bed~*~