D/C: I own everything in here, it's my original story and I haven't nicked anyone's ideas, don my story and I am seriously gonna doubt anyone has the sort of idea.
-=Tiny; The Teddy=-
Chapter 1: Welcome to Laurens world.
I know what you are thinking. This chick should be on top of the world! Its almost the end of the year, Christmas is on my front door step and the love of my life is coming back from Holland, just to see me. But as usual, Im sitting in my room stressing about everything. And it's not just the small stupid stuff either, like what to where to Saturday art, or whether or not my best friend was in a shit with me. It's the really big stuff, money mostly. Mum and Daniel are working their bums off to provide for us and his children back in America, while they have nothing for themselves. Here I am wondering if im gonna get a play station 2 for Christmas, while they have to go without. I can't believe im so blood selfish sometimes! Kevin doesn't help either, coming over for a feed and to rub it in that he has so much of the bloody colored paper, then whizzes back over to dads house to report anything and everything about our new house.
We only moved into the two-story house about a month ago. The place is huge! Well I think it is. I've never lived in a double story house before. I love it though. I have my room with my bathroom and my toilet, and my family room. Mum and Daniel have all the up stairs too along with the computer and the Internet. I have my own T.V. in my room and there is one in the family room too, so really there is no real reason to go upstairs, except of coarse the net, the only connection I have with James at the moment, until he comes back from Holland.
I seriously can't wait for him to get off the plain and wrap toughs strong arms around me. The Internet is great and a novelty for a while but is just didn't cut it when you needed a hug or one of his problem minimizing kisses. "December 24 Lauren. Its only 20 more day!" He would say over the phone. 20 more days? Could this guy even count? 20 day was like a friggin year! I had to keep it together till then. And even when he does get back I can't just dump all my problems on him. I know he has his own, what with his little brother's and big sister. I couldn't do that to him, no matter how much I needed to at the moment. I missed him so much; I just wanted to see him, tell him what I really should have said at the airport. Tell him what I really feel, and why I couldn't then.
I needed to get out of here, just for a few hours to clear my head and to think about some stuff. I told mum I was going down the lake and that I would be home later, picked up my diskman and walked straight out the door, to the lake. Maybe Eminem wasn't what I needed at the moment, but it was all I had in my diskman; I was in too much of a rush to pick anything else up. It did the job all the same; it got me to think about other things.
The lake was deserted. No one to be seen for ages. Just the way I like it. I started walking at my usual fast pace, but before I knew it I was slowing down to a slow stole.
I didn't catch the time before I left, it must have been almost 3:00 at least when I kicked shut the door and ran down the lake, but it was about 5:30 now. If I didn't start to head home now, mum would freak, and man would I get it then.
As much as I didn't want to I did start to head home, I did but only after an ice cream, and a by pass to Emma's house. I still had some thinking to do and I would be buggered if I could get that done at home. Whatever, I had what I had intentionally needed to do; clear my mind and focus on the important things in life. Now all I had to do it pretend that my life wasn't as bad as it really was.
Kevin was at home when I finally walked through the door. He asked if I was ok as I slummed down next him on the couch. I gave him some cock and bull story about school life being hell. He gave me a shove and told me to hack through it. Brotherly love ay?
Monday came WAY to quickly for my liking. The worst day of the week and I had to catch the bus and go to school. Yay, big fun. All I really wanted to do was sleep in. No such luck. The bus wasn't really that bad, its Rebecca I didn't want to put up with. Rebecca was the queen of bitchiness. Mind you she is meant to be my best friend sand I can tell her everything. Or rather she can dump all her problems on me. As far as im concerned, it was a one- way friendship; I gave and she took. But every weekday I put up with it. I would shut my mouth and listen to what she had to say, but she would rather fuck Travis then listen to me for once. I would start to say something about me and she would cut me short and start on another one of her problems. I hated it and still do, but for the sanity of the year nine population, I shut up and give her my best advice on her love life, or parents or whatever.
I smiled as the bus slowed down at her stop, preparing myself with the inevitable. I moved my bag and uncrossed my legs so to make more room for her to sit down and take up the rest of the room in my head with one of her stupid stories once again. She strode down the center of the bus, her long legs taking her where she wanted, and walked straight past me, to that very back of the bus. Right, ok then. I got up and made my to the seat in front of her. She looked up and gave me THE worst evils. I ignored it like I always do and sat down in the seat in front of her, turning right around and asking what was up. No response. She had her sunnies on but I could still see her eyes; she was staring down the middle of the bus and out to front window. Had something happened within the 48 hours that I hadn't seen, or spoken to her? I sighed knowing I wasn't going to get jack out of her now and turned my "diskman" up full bal, blocking out everything around me.
School that week was absolute hell. Rebecca refused to talk to me but Chelsea had said she didn't want to listen to my continuous problems anymore. I just shook my head, but said nothing. I mean what could I say? Rebecca had already started spreading rumors about me, saying that I had been cheating on James with Will and that, at 14, I had already slept with him. I know James wouldn't believe it and Will was my best bud, but it's what everyone else thought that REALLY bugged me. 15 more days, only 15 more days do I have to put up with this shit!
"Don't worry about it sweetie" James said through MSN one night after I told him the whole story. "I know Will and I know you better then anyone. I trust you, you should know that." I did know that, but I had to tell someone. He went on to say that I should just ignore Rebecca and focus on the 24th. Then he said it, the four simple words that send shivers down my spine. "I love you Lauren." I didn't type anything back, I couldn't! I just sat there staring blankly at the computer screen. I finally got a grip and said I had to go. I couldn't help it. I just freaked. I knew I did love him, but I didn't know if I was ready to admit that to anyone yet. James was 16 and had that edge on life, I was only 14 and didn't want to admit to myself that I was, in fact, growing up. Suddenly I could wait till he came back.
I felt sick. Really sick. I didn't want to put James through this, I didn't mean to. He was probably stressing about the whole thing now. Wondering if I had given him the flick or I just didn't like him anymore. But I do, I really do, I just couldn't bring myself to say it yet. He deserved so much better then what I could give him, but for some reason he had his heart set on me. Great, yet another problem to add to my pile.
I told myself not to think about it till I had to, and when I came to that bridge I would cross it, but when I wasn't thinking about school or music or exams, my head was still filled with James.
Only 4 more days, 4 more days and he will be here with me. I couldn't wait, but really, I think I could. I hadn't spoken to him since the whole MSN conversation. I could just imagine what he was thinking.