Bright lights. I hate bright lights.

I opened my eyes just to shut them again, the sunlight being in my direct view. I rubbed my eyes and rolled over, my brain pounding like crazy. My head was a mess and once I noted where I was, I had a sudden rush to my brain, worsening the pounding, and I struggled to remember the events of last night.

I groaned into my pillow and tried to go back to sleep. A few minutes later I heard some rustling on my nightstand, so I looked up and saw Ryan standing next to the bed setting a glass of water down with two tablets of Advil. I rubbed my eyes again and watched as he pulled a nearby chair close to the bed and sat down. I sighed and took the two tablets, throwing them in my mouth and drinking the water. I laid back down and turned my head towards the window, closing my eyes. All I wanted to do was go back to sleep.

"Aeralie, we need to talk," Ryan said and I turned my head to look at him.

"About what?"

He frowned at me, deciphering whether I was lying or not and said, "You don't remember anything that happened last night?"

I was working my brain really hard, trying to remember something important, anything important. Besides the point that I was drunk, nothing was coming to me. I knew something happened, I just don't know what. I shook my head. "No. All I really remember was talking to Evan."

Ryan's eyes turned a darker shade of green and his face grew serious. "That's all?"

"Yes. Ryan, is there something I should know? What happened at the party?" I asked him, not taking how his facial expression changed as something good.

Ryan looked at me and sighed, shaking his head. "Never mind. We can talk later, seeing you're still hung over. I don't think now's a good time," he stated looking down at the carpet.

I sighed. I needed to take a shower. Somehow I smell like beer and I don't even know how I got into my own bed, much less change my clothes. I got off the bed and walked out of the room, leaving Ryan to himself while I desperately tried to think about everything. As I was taking a shower, I tried recapping all the events of last night.

Going to the party, check.

Lauren leaving me and drinking a beer, check.

Keeley and Drew talking to me, check.

Running into Evan, check.

Talking to Evan, check. The pieces started to come together.

Spilling the beer and asking Evan to take me to the bathroom, check.

Him taking me into an unknown room, check.

Then as if still frames falling into my lap, I suddenly remembered everything that happened before I blacked out. I looked down at my stomach and there was a lovely multi colored bruise already there, taking up my whole abdomen. I slightly pressed down on it, a sharp pain filling that area the moment pressure contacted it. My hand went up to my cheek and I winced as I felt the sting from when Evan struck me. My god, what did he do to me?

Ten minutes later I was dressed and made my way back to my bedroom only to find Ryan still sitting in the chair. I closed the door and walked to the bed and sat down across Ryan, feeling a little better. He looked at me and I sighed.

"Thanks," I said after some time of thinking about what I should say.

He chewed the inside of his cheek and scowled. "What you did last night was really stupid."

"I know," I answered. "I've been stupid this whole entire week."

Ryan exhaled and reached behind me to grab a pillow. "Is this where you tell me everything that happened?" he asked and I bit my lip.

"Have you been talking to Lucky?"

He nodded and I rubbed my forehead. "Yeah, I have. And he told me what happened. And how you've been avoiding him all week."

I stopped rubbing my head. "You don't know how hard it is coping with everything, Ryan. You can't even imagine how hurt I was," I started, the recollection of Tuesday coming to me again. "I mean, from my point of view, Ryan, it was scary."

"I'm not going to tell you what happened, for you already talked to Lucky about it," I told him and he nodded his head, motioning for me to keep going.

"After that, I left and went to the stadium. I called Keeley and she came. I told her everything and I was probably crying for two hours. We started to talk about me going away and how much I'm going to miss this place," I said and my voice got softer.

"We're going to miss you so much," Ryan interjected and I smiled at him.

"I know. Ryan, I don't know what to do. Graduation's coming just around two weeks or so, and after that I'm leaving, it just seems so surreal. I don't want to leave yet. I want to spend the entire summer with you guys."

He nodded, agreeing with me. "And the band, we're starting to get more gigs."

"And I won't be there to watch you guys play and get signed and make it big. Oh god, how am I going to survive without any of you?"

"What about Lucky?" he queried and I shook my head.

"He broke my heart, Ryan. And I'm moving across the country, so what is there for me to do?"

"I know, and I'm still pissed at him for doing that, but you need to talk to him. Are you even going to forgive him?" he asked.

"Yes, of course I am, but just not now. I have to talk to him today." I sighed and Ryan took my hand that was playing with the sheet in his.

"Anna," he said, "We both know that I can't fully understand what you're going through, and I doubt I ever will." He smiled and squeezed my hand. "But you know that I am here, if you need to talk, or whatever."

"I know," I answered back. "And I can't really possibly think of a time where I didn't rely on you. For anything. Ryan, I love you and I know you get all worried about me and crap, but I can take care of myself, you know. And I am going across the country and I certainly don't need you rushing off there to be there for me. I mean, it's not like I'm not going to talk to you guys at all. I probably will talk to you too many times that you're going to get sick of me."

Ryan smiled furtively. "But we already are."

I pulled my hand out from his grip and smacked the back of his head. "Some brother you are."

He laughed and leaned forward, wrapping his arms around me. I hugged him back and sighed.

"I really am going to miss you, Aeralie," he said with a muffled voice.

I shook my head and smiled. "And I'm going to miss you too."

---

I picked up the phone for the twentieth time only to put it back down. I sighed and leaned forward, resting my head on the pillow in my lap. I didn't know why I couldn't call Lucky, but I needed to. I've been trying for the past ten minutes with no luck.

I know I would forgive him. It's not like I'd ignore him for the rest of my life. Maybe my heart is wrenched, but at least I can forgive. I don't have much animosity. And plus, it's logical that I clear things up with him. I'll still love him, but I just won't be with him. I'm not mad. Just disappointed. I haven't felt so much pain in my life since my mom died. The only thing is, I don't know who to blame this time.

I straightened my body, sighing as I picked the phone back up. My fingers dialed his number, my body numb as I listened to the ringing. It seemed to get louder each time. I was about to hang up on the third ring when someone picked up the phone and I heard his voice answer. My breathing stirred and I closed my eyes tightly.

"Lucky, it's me," I said after two seconds of silence.

"Hey. How've you been?" his voice had become limp with each syllable.

My hands were awfully cold, and I was shaking. "I'm all right, how have you been?" I stated slowly, my own voice just as soft.

"Remorseful. Um, Aeralie, can we talk?" he asked as I was contemplating whether I should be the one to ask. Apparently, he beat me to it.

"Yes, not over the phone though. Meet me at the stadium, they're not having practice today," I told him. He agreed and we hung up.

I ran a shaky through my hair. What am I going to do? My courage took a while to stay in tact, and soon after, I got up from the couch and slipped on my shoes, grabbing my keys. Ryan walked into the room just as I was less than a foot away from the door.

"I'm going out for a while," I told him, not really wanting to tell him that I was going to talk to Lucky. I know that Ryan would have spent ten minutes talking to me.

He just smiled and nodded, sitting on the couch. "Good luck," was all he said and I quirked an eyebrow, grinning at the back of his head as I walked out of the house.

The ride to the stadium was quiet except for the slight hum of my car. My mind was going crazy and I kept telling myself to calm down. It wasn't like he cheated on me on purpose. He had a reason, and I was willing to listen.

I parked my car and got out, slowly walking towards the entrance. Lucky's car wasn't parked anywhere, so I assumed that he wasn't there yet. Roy was there though, and I smiled at him, giving him a small hug as he let me in. I walked in, probably my last time for a long time and tears where already starting to well up. I couldn't cry now; this wasn't the time for nostalgia. My eyes memorized everything about this, the ground which the players ran on, the bleachers that were always filled up. I was surely going to miss this place. I made my way up all the way to the top, where I usually sit and sat down, silently waiting for Lucky. What was I going to say to him? I didn't want to just flat out say, "I saw you kissing your ex girlfriend." It wouldn't be right. So, I guess I could just wait for Lucky to say something first.

I didn't know how long I was sitting there until he entered the arena. I didn't notice him last night, but now, he looked so glum, it must've eaten him up as well. I watched him make his way up the bleachers until he got where I was. His eyes were so sad, it broke my heart to see him like this. I smiled at him and motioned for him to sit down next to me. As he situated on the bleacher, I caught a whiff of his scent from the slight breeze and I was pretty sure I could hear my heart beat faster. He turned to me and took a deep breath.

"I need to tell you something, Aeralie," he said and I nodded. It would be better if I didn't say anything just yet.

"Something happened to me on Tuesday, and after that, this week hasn't been the best. I tried thinking of ways to tell you what happened, but each ending wasn't good," he started explaining.

"I don't think that any of them would have a nice ending Lucky," I told him, and he nodded, his brown hair moving with his head. It's gotten longer since we first met, and he didn't cut it.

"I know. So I guess I'll just have to flat out say it. I don't know why you've been avoiding me all week, but it's been tearing me apart," he said as he turned to me. "I love you Aeralie, and when we're apart, I want to be with you even more. But. . . we're graduating in less than two weeks, and not even a month after, you're going to be moving away. And I've been thinking about this all week."

So I presume that Lucky has been thinking about the same things I have been thinking about. I cleared my throat and looked down. "So what exactly happened on Tuesday?" I questioned, part of me not wanting to hear what I already knew, but I had to hear it from Lucky.

"I was walking down the hall after school, trying to get to the stairs, but Morgan cornered me. I really didn't want to be in that predicament, but I couldn't go anywhere without her grabbing onto me. You don't know how hard I wanted to get away from her Aeralie; how much I wanted to be with you," Lucky said and I shut my eyes, the whole event coming back to me.

"All of a sudden she kissed me, and I didn't know what to do. I just pictured you in my head and somehow my mind was fucked up, because I ended up kissing her back," he stopped and looked at me. Tears were brimming me eyes and I felt so foolish wanting to cry right then and there.

"Lucky," I said and drew in a shaky breath. "I know what happened. I . . . I was there that afternoon. I was going to meet you at your school, and right when I reached the top of the stairs, I saw you two together and it just . . . hurt me so much, Lucky."

He sighed. "I don't know what to say, Aeralie. I'm so fucking disappointed in myself for letting you down . . . I just wish there was someway I could make it up to you," he begged.

I sat there staring at my shoes for a while before answering. "When I fell in love with you, Lucky, the only thing that I didn't give you was my soul," I whispered onto the empty bleacher down below me. "It hurts just knowing that. It really does."

"And now you're going to California."

I nodded a solemn agreement and sighed, looking back at Lucky. "Is it breaking your heart to do this as it is mine?"

"More than it ever will," he answered and I went into his arms, allowing myself to cry softly for him, for me, and for us.

I opened my eyes and stared at the blotches of a darker shade of the shirt he had on and gently touched it, feeling his heartbeat upon my fingertips. I closed my eyes and went back into his arms again, taking in everything about him.

"So this is it," I said as slowly pulled away from him.

"I'm so sorry," Lucky confessed and I smiled grimly at him, reaching up to touch his cheek.

"I am too."

He took my hand and kissed the inside of my wrist, just like he always did and gave me a soft smile. "I'll always love you, you know."

"And I'll always love you too," I replied as we stood up. "And maybe later in life, when systems have found their way back into the works, we can start over."

"We can," he said and I nodded. We stood there staring at each other, smiles gone and hearts uneven. Who knew that things would end this way? Who knew that something so right and so beautiful could destruct like this. I guess, the best way to end things is to keep his close to me, keep him my best friend. Who said love could ever die?

I bit my lip and looked down then back up again. "I better go. I have to start packing."

Lucky nodded and we both went down the bleachers until we reached the bottom. "I'll talk to you later, all right?" he asked and I nodded, playing with my keys.

I started walking away, but stopped and turned back around, walking towards Lucky again, stopping a few inches from him.

He tilted his head. "Aeralie, what are you doi-"

I closed the last few inches between us and stood on my tip toes, bringing my lips up to his. There was absolutely no way I would leave without one last kiss and I would be damned if I didn't get it. My arms locked around his neck as I pressed forward against him, deepening the kiss, cherishing the feel of his lips on my own one last time. I expected some light peck on the lips, but I surprised the hell out of me as I kissed him fervently. Not at all out of desperation, but out of pure love, I guess. This kiss was sweet, and suddenly nostalgia hit me full force.

We were five, and in the bushes. I was crying and Lucky was frowning. He leaned forward, so slow it seemed like forever just for him to reach me. When he did, I was just so amazed. It was a simple kiss, and only lasted one second. I just don't know why I couldn't remember it beforehand. Now, I can remember it like how I could recite my favorite childhood book. How his bottom lip barely touched my upper lip. How I stared at him through glazed and wet eyes. How I told myself in my head that this was the boy I loved.

So maybe I did give him my soul. Maybe then he took it and kept it for so long, waiting for the perfect time to return it to me. Maybe it was in my head all along that I didn't give him my soul, that I was just looking for an excuse. Maybe we are meant to be together, may this sound so cliché and romance laced.

And here I am, kissing him for the last time, maybe not, but for now this is the last time. Our lips parted for a second, and a second later I slowly moved towards him again, my bottom lip barely meeting with his upper lip. And hopefully he's telling himself that I'm the girl he loves. And hopefully I'll take his soul away, ready to return it to him in a few years. Just like he did to me.

I pulled away and stared at his lips then up at his twinkling eyes. "Goodbye, Lucky," I said just as quiet as the night, afraid that if I raised my voice, it would break the serene intensity. And I turned around, walking away from him with a small grin on my face.

---

"We're going to miss you so much, oh my god you don't know how much," Keeley babbled on as I laughed and shrugged her off. She's been saying this for the past hour we've been in the airport, and each time it got more persistent.

"Kee," I started to say as I put down the magazine I was reading. "I'm going to miss you all too, but you don't have to repeat it forty five times for me to understand. I understood the first time," I told her and she sighed, sinking down in her seat.

"I just can't believe you're finally going away. It didn't seem this bad before," she said and I patted her knee looking around. We were in the lobby, and it wasn't such a crowded day at the airport. The guys including Jake were lounging on a bench across from us, and my dad, Brandon, Nina and Sydney were sitting at a table talking. Keeley and I were sitting on the uncomfortable chairs against a huge aquarium.

This is really it. I really am moving across the country to a foreign state, a foreign college with foreign people. When you go past all the excitement about it, it really is frightening. I'm scared to leave the place that I love the most, and I'm scared to leave everyone I love. It's both thrilling and terrifying to start over. I just wish that I had three more months with everyone.

Colton came over to us and sat next to me, taking my hand in his. "Man, I don't want you to move yet. I don't want you to move at all," he said sighing and I giggled, leaning my head against his.

"You don't forget to call me everyday, okay? And send me stuff. You know how much I love getting things in the mail," I reminded him. Colton nodded, moving my head with his. I moved my head away as looped my arm around his.

"You know I won't forget. I'll call you everyday at six. And then I'll bore you for hours about my day," he said and I sighed, thinking about the band. It wouldn't be a surprise if and when they get signed to a record label. Just as long as I'm the first to know.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked, drumming his fingers on the arm of his chair.

"The band. You're going to get signed I know, and then go on tour and make cds and make your shirts and stickers and open for the greatest bands. But promise me that you all are going to graduate from college, okay?"

"Yes, of course we will. You're going to make sure we do anyway. I'll assure you so you'll rest easily," he reminded me and I laughed at him. I got up from my seat and took his hand, leading him over to where the other guys were. I sat down next to Chris and listened in on what they were talking about. Pointless things, but I didn't mind.

Everyone found out about Lucky and I and took it pretty well. I didn't talk to everyone personally, but I know that they were upset about it. At least they understood the majority of the reason why we split apart, and I'm glad they took it well. Because I wouldn't know what to do if everyone had bad feelings whenever we were together. But maybe they think that we'll still be together in a few years, and I'm hoping they're right.

I lifted my head when I heard the lady over the intercom. "Attention, all passengers boarding flight 522 need to board in ten minutes, again, all passengers boarding flight 522 need to board in ten minutes."

I blinked and got up as everyone started to. I grabbed my book bag and put it on, sighing as everyone started moving towards the gates. My dad walked next to me, wrapping an arm around my shoulder.

"I'm going to miss my little girl," he said, resting his head against mine. We didn't have to get all teary eyed and mushy because I already said my goodbyes to my family last night.

"Oh dad, I'm going to miss you too. But don't worry, I'll come home every chance I get, and I won't forget to call everyday," I told him.

Brandon, Nina, and Sydney walked up to us and my dad walked away, checking the flight times. Brandon gave me a big hug and kissed the top of my head, ruffling my hair.

"Make sure no guys try to get fresh with you, okay? You tell me if they are and I'll fly over to California to kick their asses," he said, earning a roll of the eyes from Nina. She laughed and hugged me tight.

"I'm going to miss you kiddo. You're our best babysitter and I know Sydney will be glum for a while," she said, kissing the top of Sydney's head.

I sighed and smiled at them. "I'll make sure to call you guys too. Just as long as you send fifty phone cards a month."

"Agreed."

I walked over to the guys and Keeley, smiling at them. "You guys better not make me cry or I swear I'll kick you," I told them and they laughed at me.

"Why do you have to go now?" Drew asked and I bit my lip, looking at the time. I had eight minutes left.

"So you guys are going to visit me, right?"

"What, you think we're going to just forget about you?" Chris asked and I grinned, raising my brows.

"You can try, but I'll just keep bugging you," I told him and he hugged me tight, kissing my temple.

"Be a good girl and try not to kick any guy's balls, unless you have a legitimate reason."

"Ah, you silly goose. Of course," I said and he pulled away.

Drew came up to me and hugged me next. "I'll send you tapes every month, okay?"

"Oh yes!" I said as we pulled apart. "Keep Kee in check for me too. She will probably need you most for the next month or so."

"I will, don't worry," he reassured me and receiving a grin from me. Colton was next to him and I hugged him next, kissing his cheek.

"Remember what I told you."

He smiled at me and saluted. "Yes, of course."

He walked away and went up to Chris and Drew and started talking with them as Jake went up to me, wrapping me in a big, big hug.

"Ah, my baby sister is now going off to college, getting into the big world," he said and I laughed, pulling his hair.

"Shut up. You know you're going to miss me, so you might as well admit it."

He sighed and kissed my head. "I will. And you better call me too," he said and I nodded, smiling.

"Only if you will," I replied and he laughed, nodding his head.

"It's a deal." He smirked and hugged me again. "Have fun there, okay? And don't forget to study. It'll go a long way."

After he walked away, there were only three left. Keeley by now had tears in her eyes when she stepped forward and hugged me tight.

"Oh my god, what am I going to do with all these guys?" she wailed and I laughed with tears already forming in my eyes.

"Oh Kee, please don't cry. I'm going to talk to you everyday. Every single day," I reassured her, but she pulled away and saltine streams were gracing her cheeks. "Keeley! You better not overreact."

She wiped her eyes and sniffed, laughing slightly. "I'm going to miss my best friend," she whispered and I wiped my eyes. This is really going to be hard for me.

"I'll miss you like crazy, but we are going to keep in touch - oh my god Kee, please don't cry!" I cried as she started crying again.

Instead of saying anything, she moved forward and hugged me again, dampening my shirt a bit. I hugged her back and when we pulled apart, I smiled and tapped her head. "Don't forget to call me when you get home, okay?"

She nodded and stood off to the side as I turned to face Ryan. I had five minutes left, but I was going to cherish these last five minutes. I bit my bottom lip as he took a step, enveloping me in his arms. I wrapped my arms around his midsection and sighed.

"I love you Ryan," I said and he drew back slowly, kissing the top of my head.

"I love you too. I'll call as soon as I can, and be careful there, okay?" he leaned down until he was at my ear level and whispered,
"I'll leave you to Lucky now."

He and Keeley left and caught up with the rest, leaving Lucky and I alone. This time, the tears formed more forcefully and one even managed to escape as he slowly walked up. My bottom lip was probably numb by now with all the biting I had done to it in the past five minutes. He looked so calm, yet sad at the same time, it unnerved me. Lucky wasn't supposed to be sad. He was supposed to be Lucky. The Lucky that I met and the Lucky that I fell in love with.

As he closed the distance between us, I straightened and looked up at him smiling. We didn't really have to say anything. All he did was surround me in his scent and held me for the longest time. I wrapped my arms around his neck and inhaled, closing my eyes as the familiar aroma of clean soap and the slightest trace of cologne entered my nostrils.

I love this boy, and I don't believe I will ever stop.

He moved back an inch so he was level with my ear and said, "Don't forget me when you're in the sea of everything new."

I smiled and sniffed, reaching up to give him a kiss on the cheek and whispered so quietly, "I love you, Lucky James Mitchell."

"I love you too," he said and we pulled apart for good when the lady spoke over the intercom again. I noticed that everyone behind us was watching intently as we embraced and exchanged partings. They know it's not over, I know it's not over, and I know that Lucky knows it's not over.

I moved to the front and sighed, facing everyone for the last time and smiled. "This is it. I'm going to miss you all so much and I promise to call each of you, I promise promise. Cause you all know how much I love you," I told them, laughing.

The last minute before I left, I looked over everyone's face and stopped at Lucky's, smiling slightly, before giving them a small wave and turning around to leave all this behind, but taking it all with me. Mine and Lucky's relationship had to be the sweetest thing ever, no doubt. It would be impossible for me to forget him, much less give up hope. Take note that we didn't say goodbye.

Because we all know it's far from over. Far.