CHAPTER THREE Interlude: Meet Fritz and the Bad Guy

It was an unthreatening-looking castle in which Fritz was held captive inside. There are three reasons for this. One; the painter, instead of making the castle a nice, gothic black color, mixed up the paint and decorated the castle in a fabulous, shocking pink. Not to mention, the color was permanent. Two; the sign that was supposed to say "Go Away" to warn any passersby of the danger within the pink castle, was too expensive. So, the sign says, "Welcome; I'm Kelly". And three; the iron gates were cheap. They had been bought off the Shopping Network, and you know how reliable IT is. The gloomy, iron color of the fence peeled off to reveal a pink and flowery one, which conveniently matched the castle.

But as unthreatening as the castle looked, it was, without a doubt, very threatening. Especially since the biggest, baddest dog on the block lived in it.

"MUAHAHAHAHA!" the biggest, baddest dog on the block roared with manical laughter. "Little kitty, plead all you want; but you will never escape!"

"Huh? Wha-? What'd you say?" Fritz looked up from his book, his fuzzy, black and white head looking innocently up at the huge monster. "I'm sorry, did you say something?"

"Grrrr!" the biggest, baddest dog on the block growled. "FEAR me, smeg it! You're supposed to fear me!"

"Why should I fear you? Is there a reason? Will you be offending my rights? Are you threatening me?" Fritz asked faintly, putting a place mark in his book.

"Yes I AM threatening you!" the biggest, baddest dog on the block yelled. "I have to make up for the unthreatening-looking castle SOMEHOW!"

"The interior decoration is qiute nice," Fritz commented, peering around at the homey look the biggest, baddest dog on the block had given the place.

"Thank you," the dog replied. "I mean - GRRRR! FEAR ME!"

"Why, I cannot fear you if you keep yelling so!" Fritz said, eyeing the menacing bulldog. "And I think it would be much more frightening of you to tell me your name. For, such a wonderfully menacing dog as yourself should have a TERRIBLY fierce name that would strike fear into me," he pointed out.

"Thanks for that tip," the bulldog growled. The he cleared his throat. "I am the POWERFUL!, the MENACING!, the MOST FEARED DOG THIS SIDE OF Passaic! I! Am! ...Kelly."

Fritz couldn't hold back a snort of laughter.

"You DARE snort laughter at me!?" the mighty Kelly bellowed.

"No, no!" Fritz said hurriedly. "I was choking. Your name made me so filled with fear, that I choked on my tiny, jumping heart!"

"That's right," Kelly said, smugly. "Every time you hear it, you will cower."

"No doubt," Fritz rolled his eyes.

"You get this straight," Kelly said darkly. "You will not dare to leave this castle. Ever. You are my prisoner. Do you understand?"

"For the fact that I've been poorly treated and thrown into a cage, I don't think I'll be leaving any time soon," Fritz replied, monotoned.

"AND THAT'S THE WAY IT WILL STAY!" Kelly roared, blowing Fritz's book out of his lap.

"Whatever you say, KELLY," Fritz snorted.