Once there was a guy. His name was T.J.J. Norton Henry and he lived with his wife, Doris, and his two kids, Myrtle and Sammy. He was a happy fellow with hardly any worries at all, except there was one problem...

His family thought he was nuts because he related everything to government conspiracies and extraterrestrial life. They told him over and over again to shut up about obelisks being alien control towers and face the fact that they're just pretty statue-type thingies, and also that hieroglyphics are not ancient alien languages, but merely the product of tons of bored, ancient children without nintendos and all that modern-day crap.

He merely shrugged off his family's pleas and mutters, always answering them with a wise and mysterious something-or-other that usually went along the lines of, "Oh, but what you do not know..."

One day, his family got so fed up with him, they signaled an alien spaceship with their satellite dish to come and take him away to their home planet, which they did.

And he was happy 'til the end of his days. So was his family.

Moral: A satellite dish is a very handy thing to have lying about.