A Rurouni's Breakfast

Shunned, cursed and disowned by his family for refusing to eat his grandfather's Lucky Charms cereal, the tortured soul of samurai Ano Mireuchi roams the land 10'000 years later, still seeking revenge for the breakfast he never ate...

The Tale of the Cursed Breakfast

Samurai apprentice Ano Mireuchi refuses to eat the so-called "sacred American food" his grandfather brought over from the Western Hemisphere. After all, it did taste like sour milk mixed with cheap Chinese noodles. Angry and insulted, his family banned him from the household, never to return again. What's more, his offended grandfather put a curse on him, saying "You do not eat Lucky Charms cereal! You dishonour family! You are shunned forever!" From that day on, Ano was punished with a life of spiritual torture; Until he ate the bowl of Lucky Charms that sat in his family's house, his soul was doomed to forever walk the face of the earth, and to involuntarily sample every single box of breakfast cereal that he saw.

Rather than to forsake what little honour he had left, Ano instead roamed across the entire planet for 10'000 years in spiritual solitude, seeking out every last descendant of his grandfather's and swearing to kill them all until the bloodline was completely destroyed.

Subsequently, he also tries to avoid breakfast cereal salesmen.

The Manga

The manga of "Rurouni's Breakfast" is drawn with red and black Prismacolor markers on 10'000 sheets of 100% recycled paper napkin. Each issue is about $7.89 American.

The Anime

The anime of "Rurouni's Breakfast" is hand-drawn onto cels with red and black Prismacolor. The voice of Ano Mireuchi is voiced by no less than 70 different actors througout the production. This is because Ano's character does a lot of screaming, so many of the voice actors were forced to quit due to vocal problems halfway through the scene. The anime is a 687-episode series and counting, because the creators are planning 10'000 half hour episodes, one for each year of Ano's cursed existance. The milk dripping from the ancient bowl in Ano's old house is actually real milk, partly because of creative genius, mostly because of budget problems.

The anime is divided into two parts- The TV series, which is 687 episodes long, and the OVA series. The OVA series is 50 episodes long and basically just covers Ano's rurouni life (being forced to sample cereal) before he decided to start killing people. It contains a huge amount of breakfast cereal ads.

As well as this, there was a 39-episode series launched in 2000, called "A Fan's Breakfast". This was simply a compilation of all the breakfast cereal ads of the cereal brands mentioned in the actual production, as well as a way to get people to spend more money.

The DVD

The DVD contains only five episodes each, despite the high episode count. This forced people to get every single disk in order to watch the whole series, resulting in an outbreak of RB DVD sales until fans finally realized they were being gypped. The standard DVD includes the original Japanese dialogue, the English dub, English/Japanese subtitles, audio settings, production notes, credits, director commentary for each episode, and Other Miscellaneous Junk.

The Rating

The symbol on the back of both the manga and the anime reads "Ages 45+, or anybody really bored, sick or twisted. Contains disproportianate amounts of blood, gore, and gratuitous advertising of breakfast cereal brands. Not reccomended for people with weak hearts, small eyes, or sane minds."