A Myth about what Happens when a Greek Instructor goes Bad
This story just happened a couple of weeks ago when an aging, bald, Greek instructor was grading papers. His name was Curry and he was known among IUPUI students as the meanest, cruelest instructor. This took place on all hallows eve.
Wearily Curry brushed his hand over his eyes, sighing as he put another D on a student's paper. He wondered, idly to himself, about how students have been declining in the past couple of years. The phone at his desk started ringing just as he was gathering his papers to leave. "Yes, Curry here." He answered sharply.
"Is this the Greek instructor that is a jerk?" A deep voice boomed.
Thinking this to be some kind of late night prank he yelled, "Yeah, and what the hell do you want."
"I want your body, your sexy body." The voice on the other end answered quite nicely, as if he had not been yelled at.
Still thinking that this was some student's weird fancy of a joke Curry slammed the phone down, gathered up his stuff and left the building. On his way out the door he was still thinking about his rude caller wondering which student he pissed off enough that someone would give him a call like that. As he reached his Honda something glittered out of the sky.
He looked up just as the gold dust reached for him. Frightened he tried to get his keys into the lock on his car door. Sadly for him, his hands would not stop shaking long enough to get the keys organized. As the gold dust surrounded him, he disappeared.
The sun was bright and shinning when he woke up in a cornfield that was in the middle of nowhere. A voice spoke to him that had no body and that came out of everywhere. "Curry, you were mean to your students. You graded their papers too rough. You are hereby condemned to spend your final days alive in…ancient Greece."
Curry frantically realized that this was no longer a joking matter. He looked around him trying to find the voice while knowing that he would find none. At the same time he also realized that he was completely naked. Scared he ran and ran till he reached a small village.
There at the village the villagers laughed at him. Turning beat red when he saw that no one would offer him any clothing, he turned and ran for the trees. Once in the trees he fasted long green leaves around his waist to hide his nakedness. It would have worked except that the leaves were poison oak. By the time he reached the next village he was all red and blotchy. There at the new village the people, worshipers of Zeus, still laughed but they were nicer. They offered him some warm clothing only if he would teach their village children. Quickly summering up his options, he agreed.
At first when he taught there, he was nominated the best teacher for the first two years. That lasted till he started saying Zeus did not exist and that there was one god. The village people became vividly mad when they heard about his teaching and how he was giving F's to all the students that believed in their beloved Zeus. So they packed him up, in poison Ivy, and sent him off.
Curry wondered around for three years. Occasionally stopping here and there but it was all the same. The deep voice that he remembered would talk to him occasionally, always the voice never had a face. Curry would look up to the heavens and pray for his god to take him back to his place and time, it was never answered. At the end of three years Curry found himself among a cornfield once again. With a start he realized that this was the place he had been transported to.
He looked up heavenward and for the first time prayed to Zeus, after all his god wasn't listening.
"Zeus, who ever you are where ever you are, hear me. I am sorry for all the wrongs I have said about you. I was wrong about being so critical of students' papers about you. You are the god. You are the Man. Do you hear me," He screamed at the clouds.
The gold showers started appearing again. This time Curry was not frightened of them like he had been before. The voice that he had been listing to for the last few years spoke up laughingly, "Who is Zeus, my young mortal friend."
"I have no clue, but could it be you?" Curry asked puzzled.
"You who was a Greek mythology teacher should be able to answer that yourself. Did you not grade papers that involved the great wonderful Zeus? Got to school for years to teach about him? How is it that you do not know him when you've heard him?" Zeus could not keep that laughter out of his voice.
Taking a deep breath and a chance Curry bowed down. "I'm so sorry. From this moment on, I promise to only give A's on papers about you." Tears started to stream down his eyes.
"Only A's? Hmm, I'll have to think about that. For now you still must serve your punishment. You were bad for so long, I think its only fitting that the crime fit your punishment."
"Great one, I have been punished. When is enough, enough?" Curry pleaded to no avail.
"Enough will be enough when I have said it is enough. To return to your time, you must go and find a worshiper of Hera. She must be female preferable or a young male. Someone I can have sex with. Convert her or him and get to have sex with me. Only than will you be able to go home." Zeus laughed at his cleverness, not only had he converted a bad teacher he was going to piss Hera off.
It took another two years before Curry was able to get someone for Zeus and when he was finally home again, he never ever once graded a paper lower than an A.