School was over and Kurt was at home preparing for camp the next day. He squashed everything he needed into one bag and backpack. He was surprised at how easily everything fitted.

He was up to the towels when the phone on his desk started to ring.

He lifted it up and said, "Hello. Kurt Long here. Who is this?"

"It's Mario. I have good and bad news. Do you want to know the good news or the bad news first?"

"Tell me the bad news," said Kurt. "I like to face my problems first."

"You know, the average person would like the good news," said Mario. "But anyway, Tang is coming."

"Who is Tang?"

"Well, on the Year 10 camp there is this idiot named Robert Tang who is a real pain in the butt. He missed out on camp in Year 10. I heard that he is be coming to our camp!"

"I still don't know who the hell Tang is and what is wrong with him."

"He is an idiot. Remember that guy who you bashed up last year? That little kid with the glasses and blond hair?"

"You mean that guy is Tang? He seems so weak!"

"No! That is Tang's friend. That little blond kid went and told Tang that you bashed him and now Tang wants revenge. He once cornered me in the library and tried to bash me up. Why did he bash me up? Because I'm your friend."

"My golly!" cried Kurt, starting to get worried. "That's not good. What should I do?"

"Well, things don't look too good. He has a lot of friends in our class and they will be tempted into bashing you up. The worst thing is that he is gonna bash up Johnny and Karter too. They are also your friends."

"I'm a victim of bullying. Should I tell the teacher?"

"No!" cried Mario. "Don't you dare! You'll only get yourself a bad reputation and more bashes. If we are going to do something then we should do it ourselves."

"Can I just pretend I'm sick and not go to camp?"

"No! When you're well again you'll have to go with a different class. With strangers!"

"Looks like I gotta go."

"Yeah. I don't want to go this year either because I have diarrhoea. But I don't want to go camping with strangers, so I'm forcing myself to go while I'm sick."

"Diarrhoea?" asked Kurt. "You have diarrhoea?"

"Yesterday I ate heaps of Wizz Fizz—that sherbert thing—and then after I had lots of coke. When you mix these two things, heaps of gas is made. My dad heard me in the toilet and said that I shouldn't go. But I have to. I wish I had diarrhoea some other time. Like at school time!"

"Diarrhoea ain't that bad."

"Yes it is! When you are doing it normally you can hold it in. But with diarrhoea, it just comes out whenever it wants to because you cannot keep liquid inside you. And when you're in the toilet with diarrhoea, it's horrible! You make all these fart noises and everything!"

"Gee that's too bad," mumbled Kurt, taking a deep breath. "So what's the good news?"

"The good news is that I told you the bad news or there would be no good news."

"What does that mean?"

"Forget it. Bye!" announced Mario, hanging up. Kurt was last to hang up, and when he did, the phone rung immediately again.

Kurt lifted it up. "Hello. Who is this?"

"John here. I just rung to ask you to tell the teacher and any other curious guys tomorrow that I won't be coming."

"Why not?" asked Kurt. "Are you sick or something?"

"No I have this big mole or something coming out of my legs. We're gonna be wearing thongs and shorts a lot there and everyone will see it—especially the girls. It's huge!"

"If I were you I'd come," announced Kurt. "Because if you miss out this year you have to go with another class when you're well again."

"I didn't know that," said John. "I'd better tell me dad that I wanna go then."

"Good on ya!" said Kurt. "I will have a cabin mate with me. And another thing, Tang is coming."

"Tang!" screamed John in astonishment. "I hate Tang. He tried to bash me up the other morning. I tried to run away, and he threatened to kill me!"

"What did you do to him that ticked him off so badly?" asked Kurt.

"Well, I told him that I saw a condom on a verandah, and he asked me what a verandah was. And everyone started to laugh!"

"Well he hates me because I bashed up his little blonde friend. I've got no idea what I'm going to do to protect myself."

"I'm gonna bring guns!"


"I'm bringing the guns! The Colt .45, the Steyr .25 Automatic and the Walther PPK I got from Frankston."

"Gee, I hope you never use them."

"Well, bye. Tomorrow we're going. We go to class first, get our names ticked off, and then go on the bus with the teacher to Phillip Island."

"Yeah, I knew that. Bye! See you there!"