April 27, 2003

Two funerals in one day

I gave my grandma a ride to a funeral somewhere in Thonburi and lifted my aunt to other somewhere in Karnjanaburi.

Got lost again.

If not, it's not Som.

If I had driven directly from my house to Karnjanaburi, I would have not got lost.

But I have to go to Thonburi first.

Incredibly, though I'd got lost, it took me two hours to go to Karnjanaburi. (150 km. from Bangkok.)

Faster than travel in Bangkok.

As bloody traffic jam, sometimes it took me three hours to go to somewhere that 60km. away from my house.

My dear Bangkok,

You're my home.

You're so beautiful.

You're so colorful.

You're so charming.

But,

No traffic jam, please.

I'd visited World War two Museum in Karnjanaburi.

That made me feel so depressed.

Wars never cause the good things.

Many persons had died here.

Karnjanaburi like a big grave that buried many persons from many countries.

I'd crossed River Kwae Bridge.

This bridge took many prisoners of war away to build them.

In this line, I sincerely pay respect to many spirits and persons that been affected from wars.

April 28, 2003

I'm worried why one dislikes me.

I try to do the things that one likes.

I try to change dislike to like.

But it's stupid.

I'm still me.

April 29, 2003

Now I'm not quite believe in these words; diamonds wherever they are, they're still diamonds.

If they're condemned and shouted to their faces that they're only worthless pebbles

Day after day

Be insulted

Be unseen

One day

They might think that indeed

They're only worthless pebbles.

May 1, 2003

Labor's day

I found the best view noodle shop

In Siamsquare

To get best view, you have to sit in second story.

You'll see the escalator to sky train station and get delighted from watching people in the escalator.

Like TV screen, the picture will show slowly from the left lower corner to the right upper corner.

Simple, but make the noodle taste better.

May 3-4, 2003

I'm depressed.

Need to go somewhere.

I love my home but maybe new surrounding made better.

Zine has lodging in Rayong and offer me to stay there.

She said everything is perfect.

With my cousin and my sister as my companies, I headed to Rayong.

And had the beautiful beach near the house picture in our head.

Perfect

Only the bed is perfect.

The house is messy.

And the only way to have a meal is driving for 30 minutes to get it.

Forget it.

I was tired.

I was depressed.

I need to be healed.

My sister said let be vegetarian and later we had only fruits for two days.

In the couple days ago, I was really in deep frustration.

Here, I shut everything off.

Do nothing but

Sleeping

Swimming

While in the swimming pool, I thought of everything in my life, good and bad, and try to figure out the reason why I'm in this position.

I'd helped many people get through their difficult time

When it's my turn

I can't do anything.

P.S. My sister brought shampoo instead of soap. It was late and we try to use shampoo instead of soap.

Never do it again.

It's made me get slime skin.

P.P.S. Zine must haven't been to this house for long time

So many mosquitoes are here.