Of course I don't love you.

No,

My heart doesn't skip a beat when I see you.

You're not the first thing I think of when I wake up,

You're not the last thing I think of when I go to sleep.

I don't dream about you at all

And absence doesn't make my heart grow fonder.

I don't spend my time daydreaming about you.

I don't feel like a piece of me is missing when you're not around,

I don't feel like I'm a part of you and that you're a part of me.

I don't count the days till I see you again

And I don't think you're my soul mate.

I never waste my time scribbling your name on scraps of paper.

I never wait for the phone to ring just to hear your voice,

I don't fantasize about you and long to be held in your arms.

I don't love you one tiny bit

And of course, I'd never dream of pulling your leg.