48Disclaimer: This is my first attempt at satire. I hope you find it funny because it is supposed to be. The spelling errors are one purpose. Please send a review in; I would appreciate it greatly. The narrator of the story is not a part of me. The narrator is a combination of people that I have had classes with throughout my school life.
"Our History teacher asked us to write an essay on our favorite periods of history. I would like to share with you what I turned in to him":
Throughout the history of earth school children have been forced to study history. I am, however; glad that we must endure through this because history is my favorite subject and on of my best. I have learned so much from my history classes throughout my school years. I would like to start in the time before Christ. Throughout Ancient Egyptian history there have been rulers known as faroes. One of the most famous faroes was King Tut. King Tut was "born in Arizona but later moved to Babalonia" as quoted from the famous Steve Martin song about Tut's life. At the age of nine he became the boy king because he was a boy. Ten years later he died and was made into a mummy.
Another one of my favorite periods of history is Ancient Greace. The Greeks invented the Olympic games and competed in all the events in the nude. They competed in the nude because they could not afford to get their togas dirty and the fact that the washing machine had not been invented yet. Socrates (Pronounced So-Crates) was a very important philosopher of the period. He invented the Socratic Method, which is different from the Scientific Method.
The Roman Empire is another one of my favorite periods of history. Julius Caesar was an important person in the beginning of the empire. If it weren't for him we might not have ever had the joys of eating Caesar salad or the dressing that it accompanies. Caesar had an affair with the Queen of Egypt, Cleopatra, and they had a child, Caesar Jr. His friend Brutus along with several other statesmen assassinated Julius Caesar. His final words to Brutus were, "Et tu Brute" which translates into, "Me too Brutus". Several years later the Roman Empire was the most powerful empire in the world. It stayed successful for a very long time as it conquered more land. The Empire began its decline after Jesus Christ was born and the rise of Christianity began. Christians in the Roman Empire were persecuted severely. They were tortured in public stadiums for the entertainment of the noble class. The nobles enjoyed this violent torture, it was the only form of entertainment that occurred on a daily basis and because Jerry Spring had not been invented yet. Soon afterwards Christianity flourished through out the empire so the Emperor decided to give it up, therefore; the Roman Empire fell.
The Spanish Inquisition is another interesting part of history. The Spanish were persecuting the Jews for not converting to Catholicism, and for the fact that they were jealous of their riches. This was later, very accurately, reinterpreted in the Mel Brooks film History of the World: Part I. The film even included the song that accompanied the torturing of the sinners.
Another period of history that I like is the War of the Roses, which occurred at some point during the Middle Ages. The war was between two brothers, the Duke of York and The Duke of Earl. They were fighting over the rights to the rose garden that had been their fathers. The Duke of Earl won the war and a song was written about him; that song can still be heard today.
The Renaissance is a very important period in history and one of my favorites. My favorite artists of this period are Leonardo, Michaelangelo, Donatello, and Raphael; who were named for the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. The turtles fought crime in the sewers of New York City during this period.
I am skipping the next few periods in history because they do not interest me; I would rather talk about the next few periods of history, which interest me greatly. This next section will be mainly history that involves or pertains to America.
One of my favorite periods in American history is the Revolutionary War. Many great men came from that era, for example, George Washington. Washington chopped down a cherry tree when he was a little boy because he wanted to encourage future generations of American children to tell the truth when they have done something wrong. Ben Franklin, another great man of the Revolution, invented electricity. He invented it one evening while flying a kite during a thunderstorm. With his invention of electricity he went on to invent the light bulb.
The Twentieth Century has many great periods. I think one of the most interesting periods in the Twentieth Century was the Cold War. The war started because the Russians wanted to use atomic technology to heat their country, which was extremely cold. They were very mad when they were not allowed to do this so they fought back. There are several important people from this time, one being Karl Marx. Karl Marx, Harpo and Graucho's older brother, was not able to appear in Duck Soup. He could not appear because he was very busy writing the Communist Manifesto. After its completion he was named the father of Communism. After his death Lenin took over. Lenin did very bad things to his own people. He was responsible for the death of Zar Nicholas II. I still can't believe that even after all the terrible things Lenin did that Paul McCartney would let him join the Beatles.
Those are the most important periods in history that we have covered so far. I hope that this essay about my favorite historical periods has enlightened you as much as when I studied them in my various history classes.
A/N: I hope you liked the story. It was my first and I hope not my last. I know almost everything in it is historically wrong, but I have heard those responses to questions before, so that's why they are in there. Please R/R and let me know what you think.