Monologue of Nothingness II

Yesterday there was love. Today there is anger. Tomorrow there is fear.

Yesterday you told me you loved me. It was so unfamiliar to hear those words. Sent a twist through my stomach, threatening to wipe away my existence. Reducing me to miniscule sobs of happiness. Yesterday I cried.

Today you left me. Stepped all over your promises and destroyed the pictures you painted. Betrayed the hope you had bestowed in me. Shattered the love and shredded the happiness. Kicked my life around a little then chewed me up and spit me out the window. Barried me in a far away banished corner where I could weep my sobs of hurtfullness. Today I am crying.

Tomorrow is uncertain. I will hide, fearing your words, should they be good or bad. Struggling to pick up the peices that I know will only fall apart the more I try to put them together. Drying the blood from my infected wounds, only to damage my soul a little more. Allowing me to weep sobs of nothingness. Tommorow I will cry.

A week ago I was hopeful. Tonight I have nightmares. Next week I'll have dreams.

A week ago you spoke to me. Patted me on the head and wiped away my troubles. Held me in a warm embrace and fed me false promises. Built a shakey foundation and taught me how to walk again. A week ago I cried.

Tonight you ignored me. Smacked me across the face and told me I'm nothing. Ripped out my heart and smashed my imagination. Locked me in the cold and told me I wasn't worth shit. Claimed I was born worthless and would die in the same shame. Broke my legs and burnt my life to the ground. Tonight I spent crying.

A week from now I'll still know you. I'll still need you because you're all I ever had. I'll look to you to pick me up from the floor, but I will take the next few steps on my own. I'll wallow in your support, but never tell you my problems. Fear settled in my stomache and dreams snuggled in my mind. A week from now I'll cry.

Years ago I was born. This year I'm alive. Years from now I'll die.

Years ago we were strangers. I was a lost little child. Wandering and niave. Willing and believing. Frightened and curious. All too eager and running. Dancing in the sky. Years ago I cried.

This year I am lonely. Meeting, speaking, apart. Running still, but falling. Dancing in the rain. Shy, frightened, and skittish. Fleeing from your touch. Beaten like a punching bag and cowering in my own blood. This yeaar I'll be crying.

Years from now I'll remember. Fleeting from the pain. Laughing to make it go away. Wandering still further, running less each day. Weary, tired, and frightened. Worn out by your gaze. Wounds have healed, but are eternally scarred, dancing in my grave. Stronger spirits, hands hearty and still able. Resting after one final goodbye. Years from now I will cry.