13Ronnie's Point of View:
Josh... I don't... Great... the tears were falling. I was starting to look weak. I couldn't help it. He was just there and I liked him and I'm not a cheater. I don't cheat. I don't cheat. I just kept mumbling I don't cheat over and over. Until I was lying there sobbing in Josh's arms.
Hey calm calm down Ronnie... did you cheat on Devon? He asked. I wanted to scream, NO! You are so dense! I don't cheat... just I don't even know.
No... I looked up at Josh. His eyes were looking at me. Not at the floor or my pillows or anything at me, at my eyes. He was studying me so full of concern. It just made me cry even more. He cared so much. I barely knew the kid and he cared.
Then what's the problem? Josh asked, it was an innocent asking but I couldn't tell him the problem'. It's like why Joshie poo the problem is you being here and me wanting to kiss you because you are so totally gorgeous and I've never felt so jealous as when I saw you grinding with that chick. Seriously, I wanted to run and grab him and be like HE IS MINE! GO AWAY!
I... I... don't want to cheat. I repeated again.
Ronnie you aren't making sense you haven't cheated on him.
I know but I'm afraid I'm going to. I looked up at his face. He looked so confused. Boys are so dense.
With who? I mean Ronnie, I haven't known you long and we haven't talked about Devon that much but he seems like Mr. Poster boy for relationships.
He is... but maybe I ... I wanted to say but maybe I'm not', you know like not a poster girl for relationships. But instead, it happened. I don't cheat. I never had, I thought it was wrong on sooooo many levels. I cheated now there was no trust in my relationship and if I ever got another one and they knew about it there would be no trust there. Cheating ruins everything for life. It hurts you and the person you cheat on and the person that you cheat on them with. I didn't want to hurt me or Devon or Josh. I mean, it wasn't like a big cheat but we kissed. Well, I kissed him and he kissed back. It was such a short kiss. But still a kiss to another's lips when in a relationship is a cheat.
Oh my god, Ronnie... I... I... I'm sorry. Forgive me. Josh stood up and looked around all upset and pleading with me to forgive him. Honestly, I had kissed him. Forgive him for what? Wanting to kiss me back? Not pushing me away immediately? No, it was my fault. I was a cheater.
Josh I kissed you. I said plainly. I had, it was true.
No, you, I, we. He began to stutter, it was cute he stutters when he is upset. Aww... god I'm a horrible person. I cheat on my wonderful boyfriend and now I'm like he so cute. Great.
Ronnie I'm going to go, look pretend it never happened as far as I'm concerned it didn't. It's umm mental or something you needed to cheat to get over it so you did... bye. Josh finished his sentence and ran out of my room slamming the door behind him. I had to do something. I got up, I was going to chase after him but no I couldn't do that.
I glanced at the clock. It was late, but I had to call Devon. I had to confess and have him dump me and tell me I'm a horrible slut who deserves to die.
My hands were trembling as I picked up my phone and dialed Devon's cell phone number. I didn't want to... but I had to.
It rang a few times and then I heard a sleeping voice answer.
Hey Devon. I said.
Hey babe, umm what's up? Why are you calling so late? He sounded worried. Of course he did, Josh was right Devon was the Poster boy for relationships always nice, caring, honest, and true. But was that love? I always had to ask that. Was it love? I could never be sure.
Umm... I had to call to tell you, My voice cracked and I could feel myself holding back tears. Devon, I just did something horrible. There was a party and... I stopped talking. I couldn't do this. I couldn't break his heart.
And... omg, are you drunk? I mean, I know you are in California but you know you don't drink. None of us do, come on don't change on me. He words were rushed but caring.
What? Dev, no I could and I would never drink. Ick, that's so gross. No, look don't care about me anymore. I'm not worth you. I don't deserve you. I was becoming cold and emotionless. I had to be, if I wasn't it would hurt. Atleast if I sounded like I didn't care, he would think I didn't. Not just that I was confused beyond belief.
Ronnie I could never stop caring about you. You deserve me, you are worth me. The only thing that could ever change that, well nothing, nothing would ever change that.
No, what could change it? I choked out.
Well cheating, you know how I feel about that. It's just... but you wouldn't.
I did. There I had told him. I had ruined his world. Is everyone freaking happy now? And then there was silence. For five minutes nothing. No tears, no words, nothing silence.
He said.
What what? I said back.
What did you say? I mean it can't be what I heard. He said I could hear his voice breaking with every word.
I... I ... you heard it. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I had to beg for forgiveness, atleast be friends. He was always my friend, he couldn't just not be.
Ronnie, I.. I have to go. He sounded so cold, so hurt.
Devon, just listen to me.
No Ronnie. His voice was firm.
You promised you always listen.
And you, YOU promised you'd never cheat. You didn't keep your promise, why should I? He wasn't yelling really just speaking in that firm angered tone. I hate that tone more than yelling, he knew that.
I, I know. Devon it wasn't, I'm sorry. It was a kiss, a little couple second kiss. I was going to cry again. All I was doing lately was crying. No I wouldn't cry. It was my fault. Cold and firm, I had to pretend not to care anymore. But how could I pretend not to care when I did? And when I was sitting here miles away on the phone trying to make him understand?
Did you kiss back?
He wasn't, I.. I kissed him. I paused. I'm so sorry Devon.
Yeah me too.
Look, I..
No, I don't... I don't... Devon was crying, he was crying over me. It's over. I don't know how you could Ronnie. I loved you so much. I still... I can't be with you. Hope you and this guy have fun and maybe... nevermind. Bye. He hung up.
I tried calling him back for atleast 2 hours but it rang. I apologized to his voicemail atleast 100 times. It didn't matter, Devon and I were over and there was nothing I could do ever to get him back.
Finally, I gave up trying. I had told the truth, which one would think would make me feel better. But it didn't. No I was still horrible person. I looked at the clock it was almost 5AM. I decided to go to sleep. Maybe I would never wake up... that would be too good to be true.
A/N: If you read this, please read and review. Sorry Ronnie is a cheater. I'll go somewhere with this story. If you have any ideas let me know.
Walking Contradiction: Well, you reviewed! Yay! I like you! Haha, hmmm well obviously you were right. Devon is not the cheating type. Atleast not as far as we know... mwuahaha! Just kidding! Yeah, well thanks for saying I write well from both perspectives. I like to think I understand males... I do have brothers and a dad and a boyfriend and guy friends. Haha... but boy are a tricky species!Thanks for putting it on your favorites list! And for your info you've given me like half of my reviews so I love you even more! hehe! Anyways, hope you liked the chapter! Buhbye!
KaitieRae: I wrote more soon! I'm glad you it! I'll try and write more again but I'm working all week... darn people and vacation haha... anyways thanks for the review! Bye Bye!
Rose Petal: Yay! I'm glad you couldn't stop reading my story! Haha I feel super cool and special now! How was the ending of this chapter? I hope better. Sorry you didn't like the last one. I'm was trying to make it so that the Josh and Ronnie storyline would progress. And I hate cheaters so I had to tie that in. haha... anyways thanks for the review! Have a lovely day!
Freelance writer: Indeed he shaved his head for her, what boy wouldn't? lol that really happened! My boyfriend had a mohawk and he shaved it off cause I was like roar roar. It was cute but yeah mohawks just aren't my thing. Keep reading and reviewing!
Freakage: Pshaw I always understand the poser issue! Haha, you don't need to be a certain way to be punk it's like an attitude, music and state of mind not a fashion statement although many like to make it one. Thanks for saying I deserve more reviews I hope I get more! I'm trying! Hehe! I love your stories so I'm glad you read this one! Yay!
Nikki77: The number 7 is the greatest number EVER! lol, sorry favorite number! I'm glad you like my story and I hope you keep reading and reviewing cause I like when people do that! lol bye bye!
Sailorcutie: Thanks! You were the first review on this story and you really helped encouraging me to keep writing! So thanks so so so much! Hope you continue to like it! Buhbye!