6A Story
Introduction and Cast of Characters-
Once upon a time, there was a beautiful kingdom, with a big castle, and everything was nice and happy and peaceful and peachy.
There was a beautiful princess who lived in the castle. Handsome knights and princes vied for her father's favor, for hopes of marrying her. (Of course, this had nothing to do with the fact that marrying her would make them the future king) The princess enjoyed painting her nails, doing her hair, and ordering the servants to paint the castle walls pink. She had no name.
In a neighboring kingdom, there was a young, handsome prince. His name was Julius Arthur Gabriel Vaunce Sheridan Raleigh Manfred XXVI. But we shall call him Bob. He enjoyed writing poetry, singing, and taking long walks in the park.
So, as stated before, everything was nice and happy and peaceful and peachy. Except when the dragon came. Then things got a little nasty. And hot. The Dragon lived on an island, called The Dragon's Island not far from the castle. The people called him The Dragon, since no one really cared about what his name was when they were running for their lives.
The Story-
Dark wings beat upon the horizon, vaguely visible beneath the dawn mist…
Something stirred the kitchen servant awake. Unsettled, he went out for a morning walk along the castle parapet. The servant sleepily walked out into the cold morning air, hardly having the chance to utter a low moan as The Dragon snatched him up with monstrous jaws.
The footsteps of the terrified villagers were hasty as they rushed in great mobs to their underground dragon shelters. The slow were trampled as everybody ignored the man with a medieval megaphone, who urged them to "…stay calm and to make their way in an orderly fashion to the nearest dragon shelter." He was soon devoured alive.
After much carnage, as well as the destruction of everything flammable, The Dragon was still hungry. Disappointed in the villagers' increasing ability to save themselves, he scanned the area for stragglers. His deep golden eyes locked immediately on his prey. The princess with no name was leaning out her castle window, face red, shrieking her lungs out for someone to save her. The Dragon deftly snatched her up in one iron-scaled claw and flew off into the sunrise.
The logical thing for The Dragon to do then would seem to have been to eat the princess right away. However, he didn't want to eat her yet, because, for one, she currently smelled of hairspray, and also because he knew that soon there would be a dozen idiotic princes rushing off to save her and straight into his kitchen.
Thanks to the trusty Pigeon-mail (P-mail) system of the day, the neighboring Prince Bob soon heard news of the disastrous attack on the castle, and the abduction of the princess. Horrified that his love, the Princess no-name (they had met and fallen in love at a hair-styling convention), was in such mortal danger, he immediately set out to rescue her. The prince had no idea where to find The Dragon, but such trifles would not bother him.
Sure enough, the prince soon discovered the whereabouts of The Dragon's lair, thanks to some very readily given directions from a few peasants of the area. He grinned as he saw the peasants pumping their arms, no doubt excited about his brave quest. It was so rewarding to have such faithful subjects.
Mounting his steed, Prince Bob set off across the land to bring back the beautiful nameless princess.
After passing through either a docile wood or a large plot hole, Prince Bob came to a seaside bluff, from which he could see The Dragon's Island, looming menacingly in the distance. Leaving his steed behind (untied, since it was so trusty), Prince Bob boarded the small, rickety raft that was the ferry to The Dragon's Island.
Prince Bob paid the crooked old man with a crooked nose who had a crooked paddle the fare for the trip. No suspicious thought occurred to the prince when the old man told him that he only needed to pay a one-way fare.
As Prince Bob waded up to the shore of The Dragon's Island (the old man forced him off the raft as soon as the water was knee-deep, paddling off as quickly as possible back to the dock), he was confident that he would defeat the dragon, and take back the princess, with glory and honor.
Prince Bob met The Dragon sooner than he had expected. The Dragon was not lying asleep in its cave, closely guarding the princess, like Prince Bob had expected, but had instead been roaming around the island, on the lookout for stupid princes. The same dark wings that had haunted the castle now carried the fearsome beast towards the prince at full speed.
The battle was ferocious, or at least so it seemed to Prince Bob. The Dragon, who was still digesting his meal from earlier in the day, took his time and had some fun forcing the blundering knight dance to the tune of some well-aimed flames.
Prince Bob slashed furiously at the hissing dragon, constantly having to jump thin streams of flame shot at him. He would have hacked The Dragon up into pieces were his scales not a natural, virtually impenetrable armor. He spent some time running around, frantically searching for a weak spot, until deciding to take a strategic retreat towards the cave.
The Princess of no name was sitting on a rock outside the cave, unbound, and weeping loudly over her horrible quandary, when she saw none other than her true love, Prince Bob. They both ran into each other's arms, causing Prince Bob to spontaneously burst into poetry. The moment was sweet, poignant, extremely fluffy, and cut off by a low reptilian growl.
The fighting reissued, this time with the added shrieks of the princess, clutching her pink skirts, weeping for her love's imminent danger. This time the dragon was not planning to let its prey run off. He was already suffering indigestion from so much running around. However, to the dragon's painful surprise, in a sudden burst of unexplainable fencing skill, Prince Bob managed to ram his sword straight into the right eye of The Dragon.
While the red blood gushed out in torrents, Prince Bob, assuming that he had won, ran to his beloved and started to spout poetry once more. Bursting into song, the two humans frolicked in the green grass and listened to the absence of birdsong. They didn't notice a very angry The Dragon coming up behind them. They hadn't realized that The Dragon had a special self-healing immune system. They didn't realize he was quickly regaining his fractured sight.
There was a struggle, but the outcome was quick. After treating the two lovebirds with a live roasting, The Dragon mashed their still breathing bodies between his iron fangs, ending their lives and all traces of their bodies with a few crushing bites.