55El 20th Horoscope Thingy
Capricorn: You will become frustrated trying to draw a stick figure, and your head will explode.
Aquarius: You will take a class on drawing, and stab yourself with a pencil and become known as the 'Pencil in lodged Hand Murderous Rampager'.
Pisces: You will be afraid of the word 'it' after you're reading a sign and you're on the word it when a murderous rampager comes. Then you will go back in time and join the 'Knights who say NI!'
Aries: You will go to a party and wake up with your head in a blender, then your friend will press the on button, you will go on a hairless murderous rampage.
Taurus: You become obsessed with one "television program" about like in the 50's, but it will be cancelled, forcing you to go on a murderous rampage.
Gemini: If you're happy and you know it go on a murderous rampage and you're happy.
Cancer: The day after a party, your friend's head will be in a blender, and you'll press the on button, so he'll go on a murderous rampage.
Leo: You will die in 10...9...8...7...Eh, screw it DEATH!
Virgo: You will get a great new career at some t.v. network, and you'll cancel a program, and some fan will go on a murderous rampage.
Libra: You will lose all of your money in the stock market.
Scorpio: You will win the event that is coming up eventually.
Sagittarius: I WOULD put another horoscope here, but I'm too lazy, and you MUST know your horoscope for today, so you go on a murderous rampage towards me to know the horoscope, wait...that sucks for me!