DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!

Capricorn: YOU HATE AND WANT TO GO ON MURDEROUS RAMPAGES ON ALL PISCES!

Aquarius: You will make somebody's life miserable and then they go on the murderous rampage thingamabob.

Pisces: You're screwed, ok?

Aries: WATCH OUT BEHIND YOU! Ha ha! You fell for it. . .loser!

Taurus: After realizing that your life is worthless you will seek revenge on all those that made you suffer, which is the world so you will attempt to blow up the world and realize there's another thing you suck at!

Gemini: You will not get a penny today.

Cancer: You won't get a penny either.

Leo: You will be made miserable by someone and go on a murderous rampage.

Virgo: Congratulations SMARTEST PERSON IN THE WORLD! No, I'm just screwin' with you. . .no. . .don't get angry again. . .MURDEROUS RAMPAGE! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Libra: Your loved one will let you down (wouldn't it be funny if THIS one turned out to be right?)

Scorpio: If your name just so happens to be Del Felesif, you will be back. . .

Sagittarius: Ummm. . .I basically ran out of ideas so you're not special and HA!