It was a foggy day, as foggy days will go
The wind was biting fierce, the rain felt rough as snow
It stung the cheeks, it bit the nose
Sank into my stomach, right down to my toes.
He was standing there, the man that I hate
Incarnate and evil, seeping with bait
Trying to bribe me, it seemed with his eyes
Trying to trick me, that one I despise.
I knew he was evil, I told my heart
But I knew that I loved him, loved from the start.
He hurt me, he touched me the way that he shouldn't
Made me weak, made me hurt, made me feel like I couldn't.
I wasn't enough, I never had been.
She said I was coming, he'd simply asked when.
He'd bottled that day, promised he'd hurt me
Promised to ruin that girl that I could be
Promised she'd be lonely, pathetic and weak
Ugly and wretched, nose like a beak
Obese and ignored, depressed and scared
Never the true proud woman he bared
Never the girl that stands out in the crowd
Not because she's gaudy, or mouthy or loud
But because she stands silent, hard and withdrawn
Standing so still as if watching the dawn
Knowing that somewhere, deep deep inside
Lay dormant the ugly, the failures she'd tried
Lay hidden away the pain she'd endured
The wounds and the scars that never had cured
The hatred, the evil, the marks he had made
Those blood tainted memories she wished she could trade
Those nights of tears, the bed which she'd laid
Remembering the last night of her life she had prayed
Praying that out there somebody cared
Somebody knew, somebody shared
but deep down inside, she knew that she hoped
that no one endure those things she had coped
And so I stood strong, watching him weep
Watching him pretend it was me that he seeked
When it was consolence, forgiveness and love
Not from me, but more from above
For he was going, and this we both knew
And he had forgotten me and time as I grew
That love and forgiveness were as fickle as the wind
As thin as grass, as it would tussle and bend
And I looked in his eyes and I saw that small girl
The shiny blonde hair, heart like a pearl
Innocent and ready to feel his embrace
For his first touch, for his love's first taste
To know in her heart, as she lay down at night
That if she awakened, he'd hold her tight
Let her know what he felt when he saw her small form
Let her know that he loved her, the day she was born
But there he stood empty and I turned away
Tears pouring down as my hips began to sway
Knowing in my heart, that'd be the last time
That opening myself wouldn't feel like a crime
But that girl was gone and I was her daughter
Hard and cold, no footstep would totter
Beautiful and crazy, harsh and fierce
Not one male heart that I couldn't pierce
For I'll hate them all till the day that I die
Push them away the harder they try
Laugh in vain, at those tears that they cry
Tell them I hate them, even if it's a lie
For what does it matter when my love is gone
Why pretend that my heart still beats on
And if they ask why, I won't even bother
For they'll never know what its like... to love my father.