Disaster seems to creep around me,

every day,

never ceases to amaze me,

how many friends ,

I don't have,

they all seem to be hiding themselves from me,

or maybe I'm the one hiding.

I really can't tell anymore,

since I'm always under my covers,

and lifting my fists to the cieling,

so much anger built up,

acting too calm,

I can't be human it seems,

I have to be happy all the time,

but I can't be like that,

thats too perfect,

I would die,

if I lived a happy life,

because I know it could never exist,

sharing so many flushed down,

memories dressed up,

in fine clothes,

They block away ,

my true naked thoughts,

they will never stop,

as long as my minds wheel,

continues to turn,

maybe I should put a stick in it,

to make it stop.

But my admiration for love,

continues to pull me along,

my mind craves for love,

seeing complete morons,

who get love whenever they want,

when the smart people,

don't get any at all.

It seems Cupid,

embraces the stupid.

Giving love to those who are unprepared.

Why does it have to be like this?

everyone lost and confused

having trouble,

saying their poems,

to their soul mate.

Always hidden away dreams,

hiding from their true loves eyes,

Would they really think about what you wrote?

because you put your heart, soul and blood,

into every single solitary word,

driven madly onto a sheet of paper,

sitting next to a bud of roses.

But thats what loves vice grip makes us do

the stupidest things,

yet we do it again and again

just to see if we will win,

sleeping together in bed.

Happily married with children,

I think I speak for all humans

when I say that all we want is peace

and love.

but so many disagree,

crushing others beliefs,

for their own.

My beliefs never shown,

to anyones eyes,

except for a few,

who seem to grab at my thoughts,

interested in my life,

it makes me glad that I'm here,

to know that a few souls,

left on this lonely planet,

actually care about me

and my hurt heart.

But does my mind make glitter in their eyes

just for show?

Do they awe and wander at what I think?

Or am I just another piece of dead weight,

trying to explain everything,

when I know I already know the answers?

I wish I could dig,

with every last piece of energy left,

just to find all my lost friends and thoughts

and all those words

screaming around my brain,

echoeing inside of me,

hurting my acheing eyes,

every second of the day,

I strike them down,

burying them down deep,

before they can do anymore harm,

to my lovable soul.