Paranoia's Game

They sit under a starless night.

The sounds of music, friends chatting and empty glass bottles are not far from them.

The two of them moved away from the party.

Actually she walked away and he followed.

He always did and she knew he would.

She sits down cross-legged and takes a sip of the Vodka Cruiser in her hand.

She's only had one tonight and she intends to keep it that way.

He sits next to her the same way.

He's hands are empty but he's had two cans of bourbon already.

He's not drunk and they both know it.

'Do you know why I'm here at this party?'

She asks him without looking at him.

They both know that she wasn't going to come.

They both know that she wasn't intending to come because it would have taken her awhile to convince her parents.

But she is here now and he wants to know why.

'No I don't know why.'

She draws in a deep breath.

'I'm here because I'm paranoid. I get this feeling that maybe you'll get drunk one night, real bad, and find some other girl.'

It isn't the truth and they both know it. He waits.

'I don't like the way that there are people who like you, would want you and would fight for you. I get paranoid about them being here and me not being here.'

'You don't trust me?'

'I trust you, I just don't trust them.'

Then silence.

'I would never ever do anything like that to you.'

He tries to reassure her.

'I know but it doesn't stop that feeling inside of me.'

He looks at her but she refuses to meet his eyes.

'I got paranoid tonight too.'

He confesses.


He doesn't answer but she knows who he's talking about.

'The way you guys are so comfortable with each other.'

She nods.

'I know. I made sure you saw that.'

She says quietly.

He's silent after that.

She can hear his heart literally trying to piece things together.

She had hurt him; it was her intention, payback.

Now, she wished she hadn't even turned up to the party.

He turns to her.

'You shouldn't have been paranoid. I wouldn't do anything like that to you ever.

Never ever.'

She looks at him. Tears in her eyes.

He kisses her on the lips and she returns it.

She breaks away.

He whispers to her.


She forces the tears down.
'That's not what everyone else thinks.'

She gets up and walks away.

She doesn't look back, she never has and she never will.

No matter what comes out of his mouth, no matter what kind of reassurances he gives her she will always be jealous.

It's in her nature.

She's afraid one day he will find someone better.

Someone that's better than her.

Someone else.

She trusts him with all her heart and her life.

She just doesn't trust the rest of the world...

Maybe one day it will change...