I spent all day loading that truck of mine, piling in box after box of children's toys and valuables and televisions and video games and chairs and everything else you put in boxes when you move. Hey, I'm not complaining; I'm paid good money to do my job, moving people's furniture and things to different parts of the country. I was moving two families in my truck alone; as if loading the first house wasn't exhausting enough.

Silence on the road. Sweet silence for my fifteen hour drive to the first family's new home.

It's like this every time; load, drive, unload. Load, drive, unload. I've been in the moving business for three years now, and have moved hundreds of people, near and far. I know the drills.

Silence except for the gentle hum of my truck engine. I love it.

I can hear from somewhere in the back of the truck that a telephone has come off the hook. It's bleeping constantly. Not to worry, though; it will soon run out of batteries.

I hope.

I turn on the radio to a loud rock 'n' roll station. What do you know, one of my favorite songs are playing. I crank up the volume to drown out the soft bleeping of the phone.

It's my life

And it's now or never

I ain't gonna live forever!

I just wanna live while I'm alive!

My heart bleep bleep bleep

Open highway!

Like bleep bleep bleep bleep

Did it my way!

Bleep just wanna live while bleep bleep

'Cause bleep bleep bleep!

Bleep bleep bleep!

I turn the volume up even louder and the song drowns out the bleeping completely. Not a problem. Not a problem at all. I decide to sing along anyway, just in case that bleeping keeps up. I can distract myself, no problem.

"This ain't a song

For the broken hearted

A silent prayer-"


God! I hate that annoying bleeping. The battering should be running out soon, but this is just driving me nuts, and the song is making my eardrums throb.

I turn off the music and wait for the throbbing to stop, but I realize that the faint ringing and throbbing in my ears isn't from the music, it's from that damn telephone! Will it just stop, will it just stop, WiLl It JuSt StOp! I suddenly open my mouth and shout at the top of my lungs the first thing that comes to mind.


This is just like that Edgar Allen Poe story "A Telltale Heart" except I didn't do anything. It's not like I killed someone and now I'm so guilty that I make believe I'm hearing the beating of the dead man's heart, it's just a stupid telephone that got knocked off the hook in the process of loading it!

Calm down, you stupid git, pull yourself together, it's just a beeping! So I shout again, a remembered line from that Edgar Allen Poe story.

"Villains! It is the beating of his hideous heart!" I shout and repeat this line as loud as I can, over and over to drown out that stupid noise, and I think the person in the car next to me thinks I'm completely insane.

Well here's news for YOU lady! You've never been stuck in a truck with this bleeping noise that will accompany you for fifteen hours! It would make you start foaming at the mouth, so quit glaring at me as if I'm a madman on the road!

I flip the woman off for her own good and she takes out her cell phone - to call the cops I suppose. I drive off faster to lose the bitch and that bleeping is louder and louder still! Grrr!

I finally pull to the side of the road, veering so sharply I almost cause a wreck and turn my truck over, but I don't care! I have to take care of that telephone!

I dive out of the truck and fumble with my keys to the right one which unlocks the back of the truck. Swinging the door up, I find myself facing hundreds of jam-packed boxes. For a moment, I don't hear the bleeping, but an instant later it continues as strongly as ever. I will follow it to the box the phone is in! Then I'll take care of my problem.

Raving and irritated, I throw the boxes out, one by one. The noises seemed to be coming from the very front of the truck. I have to work my way there.

Not caring that expensive china and other breakables were shattering as I tossed out the boxes, some of them ripping open to reveal indecipherable pieces of glass.

All trash! I have to get to that telephone!

Only three boxes remain in the truck now, the rest in a mess in the dirt! I don't care anymore, I just have to reach that stupid machine!

Tearing open the first box, I find stuffed animals; I fling it so hard out of the truck that the box lands in the middle of the freeway. The second box is heavier, but all it has is a computer inside it! I jump on it for all it's worth and smash it to pieces by shoving it over the edge of my high tailgate.

One last box! This one must contain that phone!

I tear the sucker open with my teeth, and giving a shrill cry of fury and triumph, I grab up the phone and commence to throw it across the road where I will never see it again!

I make my way quickly to the end of the truck, pulling the telephone back to give it good leverage.

Yes, yes, yes! I will finally be rid of this stupid, infernal, maddening bleeping! That stupid, stupid, stupid bleeping! THE BLEEPING, BLEEPING, BLEEPING WILL BE OVER AND DONE WITH FOREVER! And ever and ever and ever and ever! Hahahahaha!

"And now I defeat that dead heart of a bleeping phone!" I bellow happily. But something isn't right! Something's missing! The phone! That stupid bleeping!

The batteries ran out...