Summary: A young blind man gave up on love. Dealing with his own self loathing, loneliness, and depression, he doesn't believe that he deserves it. Can his mind be changed?
warnings: Boy x Boy love! ^_^
Pale, albaster tinted flesh stretched tightly across clenched muscle as the fist gribbed the edge of the bedside table. A slender, effiminate frame balanced precariously for several seconds, the other hand groping for the hawthorn cane propped against the wall. Silken, brunette strands of hair shrouded the young man's face from view. His steps were slow but steady, years of monotonous practice becoming habitual. He turned one of the french door knobs, hearing voices from a few rooms down. He paused, his excellent hearing honing in on the conversation. His heart immediately clenched painfully in his chest, tears came unbiddingly to the cloudy grey eyes.
"I think its time we tell Shuichi," the woman's voice was harsh and cold, no sembalance of emotions were held in the icy tone. "He's seventeen, old enough to leave home and go to the Asylum for the Blind in Shinobi."
"...Lei...not yet, please. Give it a few more months, alright? His birthday was just last week for Kami's sake." Feet shuffled and Shuichi could just picture his father embracing his fiancee. Shuichi angrily scrubbed at the saline on his cheeks. "We'll tell him, don't worry."
Shuichi listlessly descended the stair case at the end of the corridor, all remnants of his suffering erased. He had been blind since he was a year old, due to an automobile crash that cost his sight and his mother's life. At times, Shuichi wished it had been he that had been killed. He'd thought about it enough. The journey to the kitchen was long, it was located on the exact opposite end of the stairs, and there were tons of obsticales in the path. Usually, it was cleared by his father but one could never tell about the children, Shuichi's half siblings.
It wasn't easy being a blind teenager, in a world that was less than friendly to those different. Whether because of your race, your gender, or your disabilities; if you weren't like the general population, you were discriminated against. Shuichi had his fair share of prejudiceness. He knew what it was like to be constantly tormented by those so insecure they pick out the flaws of another person and exploit them. Shuichi used to cry himself to sleep from it but after awhile, he hardened himself against the taunting. He rarely ventured into public anymore, the only times he did was when he was forced to accompany the girls. He didn't go to school, a tutor mastered in the art of braille taught him at home. He had no friends to socialize with, if one didn't count his older brother.
Amiboshi was the only one in the entire family that didn't ignore Shuichi. At the thought of his brother, Shuichi gnawed at his lower lip, keeping the tears at bay. Amiboshi had went to college in the fall, Shuichis' life line was gone. He wasn't protected from what his own family did to him, he didn't have someone to confide in. No, he had only himself now. Amiboshi hadn't been home since Christmas, it was now the middle of April. Shuichi sighed, feeling around inside the pantry for a box of cereal.
Now, who would protect him from Lei and his father? He would be sent to the institution for the rest of his life, he would never get to come home. How could his parents be so unkind to their child just because he wasn't perfect? Shuichi didn't care about Lei, to him, she was the antichrist hell bent on destroying his life. Shuichi used to think that his father, Yu, was being manipulated by Lei but Shuichi discovered rather horribly that that wasn't the case. No, because Shuichi was loved tremendously by his mother, Miaka, during the one year and nine months they were connected, all of Miaka's life insurance went to Shuichi in the form of one million dollars. Yu was so greedy that he would make the remainder of son's life worse.
He sank down into one of the chairs, already feeling exhausted from the toil of making it from his room to the kitchen. He ate his cereal contently, relieved that noone else would be interrupting his reflecting time. He was advoided at all costs, the two younger girls were petrified they could contract blindess as if it were AIDS. Yu and Lei just didn't give a damn.
Shuichi knew he was miserable; seventeen and never been kissed, hell, even hugged! And Amiboshi's hugs didn't count. He wanted to be touched by someone he could love, someone he could call his own, someone who could look past his blindness to know him. What was the use of wishing on fate? So far, he had been dealt a losing hand. Shuichi had been told by Amiboshi that he was handsome, any girl would want to date him. Now, where were these elusive girls at? A place Shuichi that could never hope to obtain.
The cereal was soggy, the way that Shuichi liked them. Just as he was about to take another bite, steps snapped him to attention. He sensed it was Lei. Oh joy. The woman, the bitch of a soon-to-be stepmother, spoke pertintely. "I'm having a dinner party tonight for some of my clients. Unfortunately, my entire family has to be present and that includes your worthless carcass," she hissed. "I want you to stay out of the way of the guests though, they'll ignore you anyway." Shuichi's grasp on the spoon handle went deathly. "And you know its the truth. Poor little Shuichi, why don't you just kill yourself?" Lei laughed, slamming the door behind her.
The spoon clattered to the table loudly. Breakfast was forgotten, all Shuichi wanted to do was escape the house. He grabbed his cane, seeking the patio doors that led into the courtyard. A rush of warm spring air added to his blazing warm cheeks. Shuichi tapped around until he hit one of the chaise lounge chairs, settling into it. The fountains from the pool and the engineered waterfalls splashed against the waves of water, spreading tranquility through Shuichi's tortured soul.
Lei often said those sorts of things to him and she meant them. Shuichi felt a bundle of fur settle onto his stomach. His smiled, petting his cat Rufus. The smile turned sad. How he wished he could see what Rufus looked like, the beauty of the world around him. He could tell that it was a beautiful place, the courtyard. His nose could smell the numerous flowers from the gardens, the shape of the flowers were so velvetine and the delicious scents were aphrodisiastical. When he was younger, Amiboshi had took him to the gardens. The older boy had made Shuichi hold each flower and in turn Amiboshi told him the colors, Shuichi never forgot the images as he tried to picture each of the flowers.
Amiboshi helped Shuichi like that. Up until Amiboshi's entering college, the two brothers would spend so much time outside. Amiboshi would tell Shuichi was certain things looked like; animals, plants, the sky, the seasons, the difference of night and day, the stars, the clouds...everything. Shuichi missed Amiboshi. He wanted to have that calm and gentle spirit with him right now, telling him what was scampering in the hedgerow or what color the bug was that was crawling aross his skin. Shuichi flicked the insect off, not able to tell if it was harmful from just the touch.
Rufus purred, snoozing against the planes of Shuichi's trimmed abdominals. Lei once told Shuichi that "at least the animals aren't afraid of you, why don't you go live with them?" It was true though. None of the stray animals that frequented the mansion were skittish of him; in fact, they took him like a moth to flame. Amiboshi once told him that it was because his aura emitted a tenderness that attracted animals to him. Didn't humans see that or were they ignorant?
The glass from the doors closed, Shuichi tensed. The footfalls were discreet and weightless; it was one of the girls. Shuichi never talked to the twins, Lei was adamant in keeping her daughters from the 'handicapped loser.' When Soi and Koi were in the same room as Shuichi, they poked fun at him. No doubt Lei brainwashing them. "Um...Shuichi...Dad needs you to come to the mall with us. He and Mom are going to shop for some decorations for the party tonight and me and Koi need to get some dresses."
Shuichi deposited Rufus softly to the ground, petting him on the back one last time before rising to his feet. "Fine," he said, surprised when a little hand slid into his. He kept his cane tucked underneath his elbow, allowing Soi to lead him towards the towncar. He hoped Lei didn't see them, she would yell at Soi for helping him. He slid inside, feeling his way to the window, rolling the pane down to prevent his motion sickness. He hated to go the mall, people whispered when he was around.
The ride to was spent in complete silence, the only sound coming from the stereo. Shuichi was about to open the door when a hand gripped his arm painfully. He made himself not wince. "You forgot your glasses," Lei snarled. "Dont forget next time."
Shuichi slipped the sunglasses on, regretting he hadn't thought of it himself. Just another thing for Lei to bitch and moan about. He knew he was walking several feet away from his 'family.' It was tradition. After all, he was an embarrassment to them. Shuichi turned bitter, hoping that a car would hit him. Ah, no such luck. The white hawthorn cane provided him with an ample sign he couldn't see. He felt like a circus freak; a person everyone could stare at and get their kicks.
The prescence of the twins brushing past him let him know that they were almost at the store. Koi and Soi tugged at an arm, voices exicted and wild. "I want that one Shuichi!" Soi, who's voice was just a pitch higher than Koi's, let out a dismayed squeak. "I'm sorry Shuichi, you can't see it." Yes, there went that intese lance of heart wrenching pain.
Shuichi plastered a fake smile on. "Thats okay. Koi, get yours and we'll pay for them. You two hungry?"
"Yeah!" came the cheer as the twins rushed to get their dresses. Shuichi went in, what he judged and hope was the boutique, and waited patiently. Patience was one of his strongest virtues; being blind strengthened that tremendously. He retreived the credit card from one of his pockets.
"Sir, do you need any help? The register is over here," a woman spoke, guiding Shuichi to a counter. Shuichi kept his blush at a minimal, he was a teenager, he still went through those sorts of things. "You have some cute sisters. How old are they?"
"Wow, their generation certainly ages fast. They look older. What are their names?"
"Koi and Soi." Shuichi didn't feel the need to elaborate and it wasn't as if he could agree or disagree with the woman about the generation growing up too hastily. He'd never seen Koi and Soi before so how was he supposed to contradict the statement? Amiboshi had given him an outline of the twins' appearance; he knew they had waist length brown hair and green eyes. Anything else, he was completely in the dark about. Shuichi had a better understanding of what his brother's features. Amiboshi was taller by a foot or so and much more muscular. His facial structure was completely Grecian, his hair was haphazardly spiked; something Shuichi used to delight in when he was a child. Amiboshi had told him that his eyes were brown and his hair was raven onyx, glinting a bluish tint in the light. Amiboshi had tried to explain the different colors but had failed miserably, it was just something Shuichi couldn't distinguish at all, even with his vivid imagination. All he knew was that brown, and black were dark colors; like what he saw when the lights were extinguished.
"Shuichi! Here!" Koi and Soi handed the garments to Shuichi who deposited them on the counter. He wanted to see the merry eagerness on the twin's faces.
"Credit Card please." Shuichi handed the woman the plastic card, dreding when he would make of full of himself when he was to sign the board to verify the card was in fact his. "Right here," she pointed at the precise spot, bringing Shuichi's finger to the place. When that was done, Shuichi took the bag and handed it to Koi and Soi. "Thank you for doing business with Bloomingdales."
Shuichi nodded, pivoting towards the entrance. "She was staring at you Shuichi, that she was! She was blushing too!" Well, that was certainly a reaction he had never recieved before. Instead of being excited, Shuichi just shrugged. It wasn't as if he could date the woman, she would have changed her mind in the end. Thats how it went.
Well, this is my first original! ^-^ Does anyone like it? *grins bashfully* Please let me know.
Next chapter: The dinner party and Shuichi meets *dun dun dun!* someone! *gasp* Can anything come from the meeting with the boy. *_*