Back, in high school, in grade twelve, was the first time I went home with a guy. He was a college guy, all built and dumb. How did they ever get in in the first place? Anyway, it wasn't my first sexual experience, god no, but rather my first anonymous one. It was about a week after Jeff.
Anyway, when I told my best friend at the time about my sexual adventure, she was shocked. She couldn't believe what I had done; she didn't say it, but I knew she thought I was a slut. I didn't mind though; she didn't know anything. She was the kind of girl that read Harlequin romance novels and pretty much expected a prince on his great white steed to take her away. But really, I shouldn't make fun of her. After all, I used to be like that. That was before Jeff.
So when I told her, she asked me didn't I want a relationship? Didn't I want to fall in love? I told her no; that I didn't believe in relationships. Ok, I know, It's kind ridiculous to say that you don't believe in relationships, because there are relationships everywhere; even math ( I know, not funny). So I'll rephrase it; I don't believe in successful relationships. I don't believe that you can have a relationship without a lot of hurt attached . Now I no this might not be a new theory, but it important, and somewhat of an epiphany for me, because it brought me to the realization that relationships just weren't for me. I got hurt; it had almost killed me, and I didn't want to do it again.
But of course my friend, let's call her Sally, didn't understand this. She thought I didn't believe in love, which was completely absurd. Of course there's such thing as love; what else would make the world go around? I knew love was a very real emotion; fickle, fleeting, but still there. It was everywhere as well; everything we do is tinged with love: self-love, also known as narcissism; love for you country; Familial love; romantic love. I of all people would believe in love; I felt it at one point more than I could of possibly imagined. I had felt it for Jeff.
Anyway, I followed my belief, and haven't had a real relationship in ages. Actually, since Jeff. I've had a variety of partners, but nothing longer than maybe a week. I liked it that way. At the risk of sounding clichéd, I couldn't get hurt. Friends were falling madly in love, than more madly out of it, all around me, and I would always be there to pick up the pieces, and also restore my own faith in my beliefs.
But still…I don't know, I missed it sometimes. Like most things you give up, the temptation was sometimes there. Like this guy I met the other night. What was his name? Brendan, Bob…
It was my favourite night of the week; Thursday. For most people, it's Saturday or Sunday. But me, it was Thursday. That was the ladies night at our favourite bar, Six Underground. It was our excuse to be out on a "school night", and we almost never had plans that night, so we could be guaranteed a night out just the four of us; Me, Amber, Brooke, and Jane. Amber was a fiery red head; short, but well endowed; Brooke was sunny and blonde, with crystal blue eyes and legs that wouldn't quit; Jane was quiet, like your typical Jane, but beautiful, much more beautiful than any of us. And, poor girl, she was more naïve than the Olsen twins combined.
They were my clubbing friends; beautiful, well off, ready to party, but lacking in depth. Except Jane; she was my bona fide best friend. She, contrary to personality, liked bar hopping, and I liked having her along. She restored my faith in goodness when I needed it. Don't ask me why I needed it sometimes. Maybe I'm a closet existentialist. Crazier things have happened, right?
Anyway, we were waiting in line at Six Underground, in the rain, and it was taking longer than usual. So I decided that we were in a desperate situation, and went to find a way to cut in line. I walked casually down the line, but had no luck. They were either girls, or guys with their respective girls.
Then I spotted a group of guys, close to the door, cute and about our age, girless. They might have had girlfriends, but if they weren't there, then it wouldn't matter to us or to the guys. I decide I would approach the guy who was a little outside the group, who were talking excitedly, and, frankly, drunkenly, and who looked almost lonely. He was cute; no Ben Affleck, but lean, with good lips and nice blue eyes and blond hair.
" Hey," The guy looked up, around, as if he thought she was talking to someone else. When he realized it was him she wanted to talk to, he answered nervously.
" Uh, Hey," Ok, scratch what I said before. He had really nice eyes.
This was gonna be simple. She gave him her most seductive-without-even-trying look.
" Line's taking a really long time, huh?"
" Yah, it's ridiculous. We've been here for like an hour."
" Really? That sucks. But it looks like you guys are pretty close to getting in. We're all the way back at the end of the line. It majorly blows!"
" Wow, that sucks," I could tell he was starting to wonder why I was talking to him in the rain, while in line. The problem with getting the clueless ones, were that a lot of the times they didn't pick up on hints. Suddenly, one of the guy's friends noticed me.
" Hey, who's this?" This guy was making no efforts to hide the fact that he was totally checking me out. I didn't mind though; This guy was as hot as Ben Affleck, but a major ass. I could tell just at the way he looked at me.
The first guy shrugged in response to " Ben's" question.
" Mallory," I answered, making a point to check him out.
" Hi," he leered. " All you all alone tonight?"
" No, I'm here with a couple of girlfriends, but we're at the back of the line." I summoned up all of my flirting energy. " You don't think you could let us possibly hang with you in line?"
The guy just laughed. Definite ass. " I don't think so, lady."
I was set to walk away, when a small but deep voice came from behind me.
" C'mon, Ryan, let's let her-them bud." Yes! I made a mental note to pay back this guy. I whirled around, strolled back to them, and gave them the biggest smile.
" Yes, Please?" I begged, because I knew how attractive asses thought it was.
" Fine." He said begrudgingly.
" Great! I promise, you won't regret it." I directed this at the guy with the nice eyes, which made him blush. I then proceeded to get my friends, so we could bud. I had a feeling this night was gonna be better than ever.
Everything went swimmingly in line; My friends, thankful for the assistance, were all over the guys. We got in only ten minutes later, and shivered at how long it would have taken us if we hadn't found those guys.
Once in the club, my first instinct was to get a drink and get on the dance floor. But when I saw the guy with nice eyes sitting at the bar, I knew I had to talk to him.
" Hey, thanks for letting us in. We're totally grateful." I sat up beside him, and ordered a martini. I knew it was out of the ordinary to buy that at a club, but it was my favourite drink, and I really didn't like anything else.
" No problem." Note-to-self. Not a big talker.
" Whatcha drinking?"
" uh, nothing."
" Can I have some?" Before he could say no, I grabbed his glass. When the cool, sugary liquid went down my throat, I realized it was coke. I coughed, not expecting the bubbles.
" I'm not a big drinker." Evidently.
" Then why are you at the bar? You should dance!" I didn't know why, I just didn't want to give up on this guy. I really did owe him, and I wanted to even the score.
" I don't think so." Ouch.
" Look, it's not you, you're…beautiful. I just don't like dancing."
" Ok, so let me get this straight. You don't like drinking, and you don't like dancing. Then answer me this: what the hell are you dong here then?" This guy was turning out to be totally weird. Or maybe just different. Isn't sad when you start thinking that everyone who's different is weird?
" My, brother, Ryan, dragged me here," Oh, Ben. " He said it was women's night or something, and that I would meet someone. I mean, I don't really want to, but he thinks I should."
" Why don't you want to meet someone?" I couldn't explain it, but something was drawing me to this guy. He was so…out of place. He was refreshing.
" I already met someone. She just met someone else." My heart broke for this guy. He reminded me of me, like a wounded bird.
" I'm sorry. I -"
He suddenly got brash, a tone contrary to his soft, quiet one. " Look, I don't want to talk about it. Do you just want to dance?"
I was a bit taken aback, but said yes.
`As it turned out, he wasn't a bad dancer. His body was really nice, and I decided right there that I wanted to go home with this guy. We danced a little while, then I drifted over to my friends, who were dancing with a couple of male model type guys. But still, I kept me eyes on the guy. I just realized I didn't know his name. What kind of crap was that? Who talks to, and gets to like, someone and doesn't even get their name? But wait. This could be good! It gave me an excuse to find him later.
After about twenty minutes on the dance floor, I decided to take a break to get a drink. I had a sudden urge to get a coke. Rum and Coke, that is. A couple of minutes later, I felt an arm encircle me. I went to swat it, and realized it was the guys brother, Ryan.
" Hey, How's it going?" I rolled my eyes.
" I see that you've taken a real liking to Brad." Brad? Oh, that was his name. Mmm, hot name.
" I guess." Why couldn't this guy take a hint? He was a total jerk, and she didn't want anything to do with him.
" Piece of advice. He's not really interested in a relationship," Brad had a know-it-all look on his face. I needed to wipe it away.
" Who says I'm interested in a relationship?" It worked. His face suddenly fell, and warped into a smile.
" Ohhh," he said this like he was confirming that he understood some secret I was telling him. He really was an ass.
" Look, I need to go…get away from you," I jumped off my chair, and headed towards the dance floor, when I saw Brad out of the corner of my eye, heading towards the door. " Brad!" It came out before I could think. He turned around, confused I think about what girl would be shouting his name in the middle of the club. I pushed through the crowds, and finally got to him.
" Hey," I said breathlessly.
" Was that you?" he was laughing, which lit up his whole face. He really wasn't bad looking. In fact, he was quite hot.
" Uh, kinda." He laughed. " I didn't want you to leave without me…but if you have to do something -"
" No! I mean, I have nothing else to do. The rest are staying, I kind of felt like getting some air. You wanna come?"
" Sure. We could get something to eat if you want."
" Sounds good."
" Well, I'm gonna go get my my coat. I'll be back in a second," I went to go get my coat, my heart pounding from excitement. On the way, I managed to find my friends and tell them I was leaving. They were used to me ditching them. A few minutes later, we were out the door, into the night.