A/N: You know I thought when I hit ten chapters that was pretty cool, shows you what I know…This is really short I know, and I could have put in the last Chapter but I didn't feel like it so there. :P But hey two in one day! Don't bitch too much okay? Kinda on the graphic side…just so ya know.
I let the drugs take full control over me, I knew that if I started thinking it would be about Mike, and it wouldn't do any good to moan his name.
The lights were dimmed to almost nothing, the skylight in the ceiling was open to show off the stars and the cloudless and moonless night.
Everyone was seated in comfortable chairs and couches around an open space, sipping bourbon, whisky or scotch in short snuffer glasses.
I danced for them. Letting the trance music that was playing wash over my body, letting it and the glow sticks I brought take my mind away from what I was doing.
At least for a while.
I danced for each other them, ignoring the personal space boundaries since they didn't exist right now. I gave them lap dances, letting them touch me, letting the drugs and my over sensitive skin set my body on edge.
I never needed drugs with Mike…all he ever had to do was just look at me.
NO! I can't think of him...
I stripped for them. I kissed and licked and sucked, careful to never leave a mark where wives or business partners might see.
I lost count how many times they took me to one of the guest rooms, the 'fucking room' to do just that. I didn't care, I couldn't; if I did then I might have stopped this. But I couldn't.
I had made a deal.
I took two X pills every two hours, it was more then enough to keep me up and going for as long as needed and after. The bitter taste of the line of coke I did every half hour or so covered the salty taste of the cum I swallowed, how many times I wasn't sure.
I had to stay high so I couldn't think.
If I thought then…
Besides, this was what I was good for.
This was what I really was.
It was around four in the morning when everyone left. I couldn't help but wonder what excuses they had used to get away for the night; late night at the office, out of town business meeting…well whatever it was it wasn't my problem.
Taylor shut the door and turned to look at me. I stood there watching him as he looked me over with interested eyes. Walking over to me he ran a hand through my hair and down my bare back to my equally bare ass where he stopped, "You're covered in sweat and cum, we should get you get cleaned off."
He was right I was. My entire body was covered with sweat and sticky with the cum that I just missed or didn't really bother wiping off. It wouldn't have mattered anyway, every time I just try to get myself clean, I just end up getting more dirty then I was before. The X and coke were still active enough in my body that I just didn't care, his body felt good against mine, his soft pants felt cool and odd against my naked body and heated, sensitive skin. I licked a drop of sweat that was running down his chest, nipping lightly at a nipple before I replied, "Sounds like a good idea to me."
He led me to the master bathroom with its large smoky glassed shower and cool blue tile and soft blue bath rugs. I waited until he turned the shower on before I knelt before him and pulled his pants slowly off of him. I kissed the inside of his thigh, let my tongue flick over his balls before I ran the tip of my tongue over the underside of his cock, all ready half hard it didn't take long for it to become completely hard and ready. I kissed and licked the tip of his cock, letting my tongue slide over the rest of his length. Taylor was breathing hard now, I could hear the deep ragged breathing coming from the older man.
When I felt fingers under my chin I looked up but didn't stop tasting him. "Daemon." Taylor breathed my name, "Let us finish this in the shower."
I kissed his palm before I stood up and stepped into the shower careful not to trip. I pressed against him when he slid the glass door shut behind him, I bent my head to lick and kiss at his chest, Taylor was a little more hairy then….
I can't. Not tonight.
That was why I had to quit being a whore, it was only a month since I met him….But I found myself comparing every guy I was with to him…and found them all lacking. It was then that I knew I had to quit, that I could only be with him and be happy.
I remember the last time we made love in the shower…
NO! STOP IT! I CAN'T DO THIS….not now….
Wrapping my arms around Taylor's neck I kissed him fiercely, my body aching, pressed against his. I just wanted to not think about him for just a little longer…
Breaking the kiss Taylor turned me around and soaped up a washrag, I rested my head against his shoulder as the rag traveled over my body. Ah it felt so good. I concentrated on his hand, where it was going, what it was doing and where it was touching. A moan escaped me as his hand and the soaped rag ran over and stroked my cock. I leaned against him, feeling the warm water run down my body, feeling him stroke me. "Ah…Taylor…please just fuck me." I begged, my over sensitive body unable to take the teasing any longer. He pushed me gently forward away from him. The blue tile felt good under my hands, under my burning cheek. He washed my back, paying attention to my ass, getting me soaped up and ready for him.
I gasped when he finally pressed into me fucking me.
When I came I cried out Taylor's name, if it wasn't for his arm around my waist then my knees would have given out on me and I would have fallen to the hard floor of the shower.
I was exhausted. The X was starting to ware off…but I had enough coke to keep me going for just a little bit longer.
The sky was starting to lighten up when I left Taylor's, dressed in the warm clothes that I had come in. I shared a joint with John on the way back to the bus stop. That's why I had gotten the pot, not to smoke during but for after to help ease the crash that came from a long night of lots of drugs, it would also help cushion the withdrawal. I just had to make sure I was stoned for a while.
On the bus ride home the men and women in suites and skirts didn't look at me, or if they did it was with worry and suspicion. That didn't bother me, I was too numb to care at that point. Getting off on my stop I walked the rest of the way home.
Walking into my hell I went right to my cell and took a shower, letting the scalding water and harsh soap scrub and burn away the dirt I knew I'd never get rid of. Stepping out of the shower I dried off then made myself look in the mirror.
As careful as I had been to not leave a mark on them they didn't do the same for me. My neck was covered with hickies and 'love bites'; my hips had dark impressions of the many hands that had gripped them and the fingers that had dug in to the skin with no regard. My chest faired a little better and twisting around I looked at my back, my ass was a little red and would be very sore for a few days but other wise unmarked. These were 'marks of the trade' as they were called by people in my profession; whores, hookers, prostitutes, what ever you wanted to call them.
They were marks I was use to caring for such a long time…now…
Now they were nothing but shame and a loud cry as to what kind of person I was.
I'm so sorry that I wasn't what you thought I was…
Please forgive me...
I love you.