There once, was a man named Wade,
He wore his hair in a braid
He wore boots that were suede.
He had to go to rite aid,
To get a band aid
But he ran into some people on a crusade
They gave him a grenade
Told him to throw it in the shade
It blew up his maid
So he prayed
And she turned into lemonade.
They got married, in a decade
He wanted to take her to the masquerade
But her lemonade figure forbade
Her to fit into a dress so they thought they'd
Go to an arcade
But the maid had no fingers, so they went to a parade
But then an air raid did invade
With a Brigade, the maid was afraid
They set up a military blockade
The maid was so afraid she decayed
Even though she was lemonade.
Wade was sad and needed to get laid
He met up with Dennis Quade
They were happy and played charades
But then Wade was betrayed
By Dennis Quade
Because he started to trade
Rifle grenades
And Dennis was unafraid
But Wade was mad and sprayed Dennis Quade with Raid
And Dennis also decayed.
Wade needed a job and became a visual aid
He was depressed and cut his leg off with a blade
Now he's legless, alone, and unpaid.