There once, was a man named Wade,

He wore his hair in a braid

He wore boots that were suede.

He had to go to rite aid,

To get a band aid

But he ran into some people on a crusade

They gave him a grenade

Told him to throw it in the shade

It blew up his maid

So he prayed

And she turned into lemonade.

They got married, in a decade

He wanted to take her to the masquerade

But her lemonade figure forbade

Her to fit into a dress so they thought they'd

Go to an arcade

But the maid had no fingers, so they went to a parade

But then an air raid did invade

With a Brigade, the maid was afraid

They set up a military blockade

The maid was so afraid she decayed

Even though she was lemonade.

Wade was sad and needed to get laid

He met up with Dennis Quade

They were happy and played charades

But then Wade was betrayed

By Dennis Quade

Because he started to trade

Rifle grenades

And Dennis was unafraid

But Wade was mad and sprayed Dennis Quade with Raid

And Dennis also decayed.

Wade needed a job and became a visual aid

He was depressed and cut his leg off with a blade

Now he's legless, alone, and unpaid.