It was a bright and beautiful morning in the woeful woodlands. Una hated sunlight. It scorched her pale flesh. So Una was not happy this morning. It was rare that Una was happy. When you're undead there's not much that makes you happy, except eating brains and the darkness.
Una loved to eat brains. She would eat brains in the morning, and in the evening, and even as snacks in between.
"Mmmmmm. Brraaaaaaains," Murmured Una as she searched for shelter from the obnoxious sun.
As she stumbled towards her cozy crypt she was stopped by a big-eyed, little kitty.
"Meow," said the cute little kitten.
"BRAINS!" screamed Una as she lunged for the unsuspecting ball of fluff.
Luckily the kitten was able to run faster than Una could lurch and made its escape.
Una turned sadly back to her crypt. "No brains today," she sighed morosely. Una was also very sad because she was so lonely. It was hard to make friends when you felt the compulsion to devour their brains on first sight. So Una had no friends and this made her very sad.
"Ah!" said Una, having an idea, "I shall find a person without a brain, then we can become friends!" With this thought she drifted off dreamily into undead sleep.
That night Una awoke to find an assistant grave-digger inspecting her crypt. "Oh, he may not have a brain," thought Una, "What luck."
The assistant jumped in shock and horror when Una approached him with outstretched arms.
"Hello?!...Would you be my friend," asked Una hopefully.
The assistant gravedigger just stared at her in blank amazement and murmured something unintelligible under his breath.
As they looked into each others' eyes, Una caught a glimpse of something. What was it? She wondered. Then she realized that he did in fact have a brain, he just never put it to use.
"RAAAAAAAWRGGGGGG BRAAAAAAAAAAAAINS!" Screamed Una, and she promptly ate him.
THE END The moral of the story is: Brains are yummy, especially with sprinkles.