What We Do For Success By Astarte Lyianai Prologue
Most people say success takes work, commitment, but what else? Some people succeed easy some harder and some nearly die just trying. What would some one really be willing to do to succeed? I've got success and all but was what I went through worth it? I can sit here and say yup I did it. But it wasn't worth it. I'll start by telling you how it all started.
I never really had many friends, a natural loner really, a victim to bullies and a bully also and above all; a victim to myself. I wrote stories of unusually long lengths for a school child when I was young and they just grew long and longer as I got older. When I reached the middle of Primary school I made friends with a new girl. Now Ashleigh, she was a just a normal girl at first, until I learned that she could play the piano, violin and sing at a grade eight professional standard. She got all the school spotlight and this lit my passion for music. Well, I was jealous what can I say? I pushed so hard to get anywhere near as good as her but did get close. She, being in the year above me left, my drive for music still alight I continued pushing onwards.
I reached secondary school and here's where things started to get bad. On the very first day no one talked to me. I drew pictures and wrote stories out of my own free will and in the teachers opinions I was good at it, that scared them away and so the pushed me right away. I made friends with some people in the year above me by chance, or was it? They all had very similar interests to me, one in particular was a blast from the past. After hearing this girl sing I couldn't stop thinking about it. I went home and when I mentioned her to my mother, what does she say? That she is none other than the only friend I had in pre-school, that we went to different primary schools but that she lives only just up the road. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Two friends in Pre-school, set off leading very similar lives and then meeting up again as like new found best friends, that has got to be more than co-incidence.
Now this girl, her name was Elizabeth. She was a year older than me and one of those, perfect little innocent school girl types. She had long whitish blonde hair that reached below her shoulders and bright blue eyes, in contrast to my normal blonde hair that was waist length and green blue eyes. She always wore her uniform perfect, where as my shirt was never once tucked in. Don't get me wrong here I wasn't a bad girl, or a tart. I was invisible. I got good enough grades and I was in the top groups but I was plain, and I had no friends in any of my classes. And don't think I hated Lizzie either; she was one of my best friends.
What got me about her though was she was good at all the exact same things I was good at only better. Now I have nothing against being second best, but being second best at everything to the same girl who happened to be my best friend. That hurt. I became even more of a shadow than before. It was like competing but knowing you'll never win. She was better than me at everything I was good at, and the worst part was she knew she was good at it and she barely had to try and then when she did try, she was better by insane amounts. So after befriending people older than me, that's when the bullying started. I was either teased or ignored. No way out and just like that what little confidence I had vanished.
I kept singing and playing and writing stories and drawing but not in front of people. Until I suddenly decided to give it a go. I performed solo, singing to a backing track in a school house concert.
I never heard the end of it. Stupid lame impressions of me singing it could be heard all over school, even from those who hadn't even seen me perform. The teachers told me I was good but the students told me otherwise.
After that I kept my hobbies quiet. Unless a teacher made a show of it, much like the time we had been told to read at least three books in the school term. I read forty-six and my English teacher had to tell everyone.
There was no way out. I was being bullied from all corners and every time they insulted me they knocked my confidence and every time my confidence dropped I started believing the insults more and more. Until I was a wreck. By the nearing end of the second year I was crying myself to sleep at night every night. I would hide in the library at lunch and break. School meant, go to school, do the work, come home. My aim in life was to be invisible. It was towards the end of the second year of school that James a member of the group in the year above I had hooked up with set his sights on getting me to sing.
This was where I encountered romance and the desire for success for the first time.