"Do You Wanna Know Why I Hate You So Much?
It's because you always worry about me when I want you to live a happy and carefree life with no worries. It's because you always cry for me when I want you to be happy. It's because you always look out for me and save me when I don't want you getting hurt. It's because you care for me when I don't want you to ruin your own life just by caring for me. It's because you always protect me when I cant bear to see you fight... just for me... I can't stand the way you fake your smile just to reassure me. I can't stand the way you risk your own life just to save mine. I can't stand the way you always cry for me when there's really nothing to cry about. It's also because you always stop me when I say I want to die. I can't stand the way you treat me when you can kill me already... I just can't stand ruining your life just by living, so it's better to die than to hurt someone I deeply love... So just stop holding me back and let me go! I'm doing this for you... and for my friends... and even if I die... nobody will shed a single tear so I'm not doing this just so I can please myself. Because nobody would even notice that I'm gone... At least I lived my life and that's all that matters to me... So please... Let me go! I know your only doing this just because you hate seeing people die but I also know that you want me to be gone. I'm just gonna do everybody else a favor! So just... let me do what I've always wanted to do!
Do You Wanna Know Why I Want To Die?
It's because I'm hurting everyone with this damn life! It's because I always speak the wrong words and I never do anything right... It's because people wants me gone and I'm just gonna grant their wish by doing this... People always tell me to go away and never come back... Or to die and be gone... Life never treated me like it treated the others. But I'm still happy... At least I got to live my life with the best person in the world... And that is you... I don't care if I die tonight... today or right now! As long as you have been with me through my hardest times, my soul feels relaxed... although it knows what's about to come. I want to die because I want to help the world get their wish... And I want to be gone just to do everyone a favor... Even you... Don't deny it! You hate me, it's obvious... There's no use denying the truth! At least I helped you with something... And that can last through my whole lifetime... If I will still be alive... by the end of the night...
I just cant stand the site of you being hurt... being bloody... being... sad... It's all my fault that you became so pained and I want to end it. I want you happy and you have to promise to never cry. You may be annoying sometimes and cold... but I don't care... just seeing your face, hearing your voice... is good enough for me. I don't care if the whole world leaves me hanging in a place, called hell or heaven... I couldnt care less... Just being with you is... fine with me... Let me die, but just let me see your face once more... You wouldn't care if I were hanged to death... Raped... Abused... Killed... Hurt... You wouldn't care if I were water tortured, choked to death, electrified to death, beaten to death... If I was shot by the most powerful gun on earth... You would just stare emotionlessly and regret that you ever helped me through my life... I want this to end... I can't help it, but I want to die so badly... I want to help the people who... tortured me. Yet to me... they're still God's angels... And no matter what they do... I'm still alive... Yet dead..."
You frown at what I wrote but then you look back at me... Your eyes filled with such sadness and pity... but also confusion. I'm afraid... Please don't tell anyone! I sigh defeated... Do you even know whom I'm talking about? I mean, do you even know who the 'you' is? Confusion start to form when I see you smiling at me...
"That's not true..." I shook my head,
"But it's not... You're with me and you're alive... No matter how much you want to deny it. And I will never stare emotionlessly at you when you get... through all of those things... I will never regret anything I did for you, too... Why do you believe in those things?"
"Even I don't know..." As I whisper, you take my hand. But your smile... changes... It's not sad anymore, but excited.
"Let me show you the true meaning of life!" You take me by the hand and start to drag me to every place I always say I find beautiful. The Fountain Park... The Milky Mountain... The Cherry Cliff... The Shining Sea... The Twinkling Tower... The Lover's Lagoon... The Chocolate Crest... And that place of The Birds Of Paradise... The Rose Of Sharon... And The Lily Of The Valley...
"I'm not gonna let you die... And I'm not gonna let you be sad..." You whisper softly as you hug me and I start to cry.
Love me now, or love me never; but if you love me now, love me forever...
Life is precious so don't waste it... We may only get one chance to live... and dying?... for sure it is the last thing on all of your minds.
Life is a locked door waiting to be opened.
Life is a play... The World is the stage... And we?... We are just simply characters..
You can do nothing by dying... But you can do something by living...
Just... Try to be safe... and happy...