5* ~ - . _ . - ~ * ~ - . _ . - ~ *
Roxanna played with the self made hole in the cuff of her sweater as she walked up to the front door of his house. He was her first boyfriend, and this was what would be considered her first date.
There was no actual walkway, so she made her way nervously through the uncut grass of his front lawn.
After another unconscious tug at her cuff, a loud ripping sound seemed to echo around the fenced in yard. She cringed as she looked down and found that her thumb could now fit through the hole. She jammed it through and dropped the sleeve from the hand that had wreaked havoc upon it.
Looking at the white door in front of her face, Roxanna sighed. He said he loved her, that he wanted her for his own, but she still didn't believe it. Ever since she could remember, she had never known what love was. What a caring human touch was like. What Josh could do to make her knees go weak. She was alone with herself, with her pain and the darkness; and that's how she liked it.
Before she could work out a plan on running away screaming bloody murder, changing her name from Roxanna to Mr. Smith and growing a beard (she was sure she could find some way to), she knocked on the door three times and took a quick step back.
Her stomach did a flip at the thought that this might be real.
After a moment of nothing happening, she started nervously picking at the new hole in her sweater again. Either she was incredibly overly amused by this hole, or people without holes in old, ratty black sweaters were really missing out on something great.. Or she just needed a good distraction.
Roxanna looked up from examining the hole in the cuff of her sweater as the big white door in front of her creaked open. She caught her breath as she looked him up and down. He was shirtless and rubbing his eyes as if he had just woken up. But mainly shirtless.
He did a double take as he realized Roxanna was standing at his door. He rubbed his eyes more vigorously than he had before, as if he didn't believe what he was seeing.
She wanted to turn tail and run away as fast as she could. Maybe she had just imagined him calling and asking if she wanted to come over the night before. These thoughts were put aside when he smiled reassuringly.
Roxanna looked down at her feet, her dark hair falling across her face, and let out a relieved sigh. Good, it wasn't an imagined phone call, she wasn't having fantasized phone conversations with him yet.
Roxanna let a small gasp escape her lips as her thoughts were interrupted by Josh's fingers under her chin, lightly tipping her face up to look at him.
He smiled softly and let his fingers drop when he was sure that she wouldn't let her gaze fall to the ground again.
Roxanna's eyes fluttered shut as Josh tucked the stray strands of dark hair behind her ears. She was surprised when, a moment after that, she felt his lips pressed against hers. Her body tensed as her eyes flew open, ready to push him away.
But this felt right. This was what she had wanted, under all the distrust for other people. Under all the feelings of hatred for any one who had ever tried to break down the stone wall around her heart.
Roxanna let her eyes drift shut and her muscles relax. She let herself give in.
All too soon it ended and she took a deep breath. The smell of his cologne was strong in the air around him, yet it was still comforting.
"Well, hello there," he said as he wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her inside.