The puzzle to my life today

From my own point of view I think that if I hadn't had made all those stupid mistakes I made in the past I would have never have any thing I now have today. This is a sequel to the piece of autobiographical writing I did about September 2001 to September 2002 called Going Through A Hard Time. This story will tell you the forgotten story from the first story and put it all in perspective. Piecing it all together to show you what gave me my life now, because believe me my life is a lot better now than it was back then.

During my hard time I had a kick off at everyone I was close to because I blamed them from what was happening to me, basically I was being a total arse-hole. When I felt like no one was on my side, people were actually on my side. I was still at secondary school as my flash back begins.

If I can remember correctly I was in science, we couldn't learn anything it was like we just went to school to watch al the idiots mess about and the teachers tell them off. I sat right in the corner of the classroom with 5 other people Danny Conner, Robert Coopland, Dean Wildbore, Robert Tomlinson and Danny Little, his name was quite ironic really because I wasn't little, he was quite the opposite. Their names aren't really important but it'll help me tell the story. Danny Conner was quite large as well so when he did P.E he would sweat like a pig so he had to bring his de-odorant the problem was that his de-odorant was white and stained, as soon was Robert Tomlinson and Dean Wildbore got their hands on it, it was like a bomb about to go off. They started to spray it about and I was already annoyed at myself from my present life situation I was going to lash out at one of them but Rob Coopland calmly talk me out of not doing it. I sat calmly trying to do my work until Danny little decided to spray a big white smiley face on the back of my blue jumper, he got on my last nerve so without a second thought I lashed out at him, I lunged my fist straight at his jaw. After a quick fight the teacher decided to finally do something about it so I got sent to the SLO (student liaison officer) basically all they do is handle troublemakers. At the school every one who was in one of the two highest groups would have a mentor to talk to about improving their work and so on, my mentor became more of a counsellor, but she was also a good friend to me as well, her name was Kerry. She took me off the SLO's hands and decided to talk to me.

Break had rolled around by this time, just as Kerry and me had finished our talk. Danny Little came up to the mentor's office to apologise to me. That day I found out that I wasn't the only person going through a hard time, Danny's dad was in hospital because he was beaten up by a bunch of teenage football fans, I realised how selfish I had been.

As I was about to leave the mentors office Jen and her friend Sarah stopped me. Sarah was great at helping people through their problems although me and her didn't like each other at first we grew to become good friends by this time. They were both concerned about me as was Kerry so they arranged a talk to try and straighten things out. Even though I had been a big arse towards them they still wanted to help me. Things were said and apologies were made. It would still take a while from here for everything to be sorted but this was the beginning of things getting better.

It was at the end of the year and the exams for us were about to start and on the last day it was a very hot day. The group which I used to hang around in at my old secondary school where all sat on the grass hill at the back of the school with a different crowd, this was after the prom and different couples were walking around. That fact that couldn't go to the prom was another factor of my self-confidence and my social life going down. One the friends of one of my friends had got a new boyfriend from the prom, he was a total arse-hole when me and my two other friends Rob and Sonny went to go sit with them all this new lad just basically told me to piss off, he didn't say it to my two friends just me, I felt like I should go up there and kick him in the face, it was nicely laid out on the grass for me. I was expecting one of my friends to stick up for me and say something like "don't listen to him come and sit down" but no it was all quiet on the western front. At least Rob and Sonny stuck up for me, we walked and couldn't give a stuff about them. We stood out side the food block known as CD's I was feeling like crap as usual and we were all having a talk. We saw Sarah and her friend Nicola walking up the path, they were originally sitting on the hill with them lot but decided they'd rather come talk to us. Its kind of weird from Nicola to do that considering me and her don't really get on that well.

Through the whole ordeal there have been two people who have stuck by me through it all, to make me feel a lot better about myself, Robert Coopland, my best friend and Sarah.

We now enter the college years my life was finally starting to pick up. I was doing well in my re-sits and I was happy again. I still felt like there was something missing. I felt lonely with out a girl in my life, I hadn't had a girlfriend for a just under a year, since Jen. I had a good idea who I wanted to be with but I was afraid to admit it, me and her hadn't ever been really close but I felt really strongly for her. I was in denial for a while but I finally wanted to confess to somebody, so I told my best friend Rob.

We were stood at a Jackson's super market waiting from somebody so that I could give them their money back that they left at my house the week before. We had been waiting for over an hour. And we got into a conversation were I confessed. "Phill you can never go without a girlfriend, I'm surprised you've lasted this long" "I like somebody" I quickly said "Who" Rob asked with a sigh "I know that you'll laugh" "I wont just tell me," he said rather persistently "It's Sarah," I said, and he laughed. But as soon as I admitted it I knew that I really did like her. I asked her out the next week to go see the Eminem film 8 mile, but we ended up seeing Gangs of New York witch is also a great film.

We didn't actually start to go out then. We started to go out a week later on Jens birthday January 27th. I was invited round town with the gang aka the peeps and we all had a good drink. I was buying Sarah drinks all night, being a true gentleman. Onto the last club Sarah and me had started to hold hands. Then as we went into the club we started to dance then it was onto a 30-minute kiss. That was when my current relationship started and ever since then I don't think I've put on a sad face.

If my events in the past, my hard time, had never happened then I would never have seen the care that Sarah could give out and I may not be with her today. It just goes to show that at the end of every rocky road there is an end worth travelling for, but the outcome is only what you make it yourself.