Epilogue

As I look back on those years, some of my insecurities feel silly to me. But at the time, they really, truly, hurt and effected me. I was fourteen when I first began writing about the life I had come to hate. And twenty-seven when I wrote about Ethan, New York, and going to Wyoming. And now I am ninety-three years old, on my death bed. The world has indeed changed since the days of my childhood and early adulthood, and I am still unsure whether I like it better or not.
After seeing Ben at the train station, I went back to the orphan school. Within a few weeks I was teaching dozens of tattered, dirty orphans. They lived in the streets, most of them, and just came to school every day. I knew that I had to do something.
I began seeing more of Ben and eight months after I our train station meeting, we got married in a small church in town. My Father, brothers, Rosalie, George, Ella, and Ronald came. I was overjoyed to see them once more. I wore the dress that Ella and I had made for my wedding with Ethan. I had brought it with me out West, folded and at the bottom of my trunk.
That night as we honeymooned at Alder's Inn (the only hotel in town), Ben confessed that he had been in love with me even way back when I had just met Ethan. But he knew that with Ethan in my life, he had no chance and decided to wish me the best and move on. It's funny how things work out, and even Ben insisted that God played apart in this. How else could we have happened to move to the same town out West?
Soon after we married, I had an idea. I told Ben that we should start a home for all the orphans in town. They needed more than just an education. They needed food, love, shelter. And within a few months, Ben and some other fellows in town had built a very large house on Ben's ranch property, big enough for the town orphans (and us) to live in. Mrs. Essler then sold the small building that she had been using for the school and moved the school into what used to be Ben and I's house.
And so overnight Ben and I became parents to twenty-six children, all between the ages of three and nineteen. They acted responsibly and helped care for each other. Every day Mrs. Essler and a few other ladies from town would come to help out with the children. The mayor of Ervay made it his job to collect donations from people all over the state to help pay for the food and clothing of the children.
A few months later, Ben and I found out we'd become parents once more. In January of 1921, we had a little girl, Matilda, Tilly for short (after my dear friend). She was thin, bald and pale with light blue eyes, and the most beautiful baby I'd ever seen.
We had to work hard to raise Tilly and the orphans, but it was all worth it. Soon they began marrying off. Twenty-year-old Tommy White married nineteen-year-old Ruth Lorn. Two years and three months after Tilly was born, we had another child, Bethanna. The moment Tilly looked over the side of the wooden cradle, her auburn curls falling out of their blue ribbon, she became protector of that Bethanna. Bethanna had dark blue eyes like her father and a bit of golden brown hair atop her head.
The years passed and slowly the orphans grew up and left. By the time we were celebrating our tenth wedding anniversary, Ben and I were raising fifteen orphans (who had become part of the family and like older siblings to our children) and four girls: Tilly (eight), Bethanna (six), Lucilla (four), and Rebella (two). Lucilla and Rebella looked like twins with their auburn hair and gray eyes. But still Ben longed for a son.
And one year later he got one. Timothy was bright eyed and eager right from the start. His hair was brown and his eyes gray. He was immediately the family favorite. Ben loved him more than anything.

Time passed and one by one the orphans grew up, as well as our children. Then I began writing. First I wrote stories to entertain my daughters, but soon I was writing because I couldn't stop. The words just flowed out of my mind and onto paper. Ben got me a typewriter and by 1941, my first book was published. I named it Of A Thousand Tears and it was a World War I romance novel. In the next fifteen years that followed, I wrote the bestsellers Blue Stars Above, In His Loving Arms, and Secrets of a Lifetime.
With all my writing successes, it still is a joy to be visited from time to time by one of the orphans we helped raise. Most of them are very successful now, and there are bankers, lawyers, doctors, store owners, and one was even a Wyoming senator. I am so proud of them, and though they say they owe it all to Ben and I, I know that they have worked hard to get where they are today.
Over the years, I have realized. I am more than just plain old Leslie. I am Leslie, with a name that is short, yet rolls beautifully off the tongue. I am happy with who I am and who I have become.

Ben passed away three years ago, leaving me alone once more. But I still had my ever strong faith, which brought me through. I have lived a joyful and fulfilled life. I have eleven grandchildren and four great grandchildren. I could not possibly ask for more, not even a longer life. I am ready to enter the gates of heaven and see those who haved passed. To see Ben, Ethan, Tilly, Rosalie (who died five years ago), Gina, Mother, and all the others. And to sit at the feet of God.