pain

such pain.
such shattering, solid pain.
what was it i had missed?
what have i done in vain?
all i know now is the pain.
all those who knew me,
all those who cared,
all those before me,
all those, so scared.
right before your very eyes,
i plunged the dagger in,
i find it that my damnation,
was the consequence of my own sin.
how gleefully i triumphed,
they all fell away,
you were so defiant,
on that fateful day.
how i wished to touch your face,
to tell you how i felt,
but instead i crumbled in my disgrace,
and still, beside me you knelt.
you cried into my once-shiny hair,
but now it is so dull,
you cried with your despair,
and to sleep i'll drift, from the ocean's sweet lull,
you will never know the pain,
the sharp, deep, pain.