And now for the story about Matthew, the personal pizza deliverer for the king of Sverdlovsk, the small Russian town beside the sea of Asov. Matthew went out to the clean air that awaited him. He had just been instructed to make a fresh anchovy pizza for the king. He ran out to the sea, and felt the wind whip into his face. "Ow. That hurt."

He could see the anchovies swimming there, so arrogant in their shining metal cases. He looked at them and ||: slowly he brought out a fully automatic harpoon gun. He sat down and waited, waited for them to make the first move.

They began jumping, more and more and then they jumped onto each other, making a humanoid shape (oddly, it looked exactly like Timmy, the hero from the hit story "the gas station in the middle of no where). Matthew fired, holding on the trigger down, and watched the harpoons knock out some anchovies. However, wherever anchovies flew away, more took their places.

Then, Matthew ran out of ammo. He searched his pockets, and did eventually find a clip. When he was about to load the gun, he realized that it was a disposable fully automatic harpoon gun. He threw it away and remembered the anti-tank rifle in his back pocket. He took it out and began putting it together, a process that takes 10 minutes.

You may be wondering why the anchovies didn't do what they naturally would have done (rip out his heart and eat it). It was because when Matthew threw down the gun, the fish saw it and played a game with it. The game involved the gun, a beheaded rubber chicken, a toothbrush, a laminated copy of the word trichlorophenoxyacetic, and two rather oversized water buffaloes. When they finished, the sardines had a much greater knowledge of quantum nuclear gymnastics than they could ever have thought possible.

Now Matthew was ready. He fired the rifle, but the huge shell merely bounced off the cases. This was because they were an alloy of tin, and aluminium, a metal not to be trifled with. When Matthew saw this, he used his an entire arsenal on trying to blow it up. After a while of this, he collapsed on the beach. Ironically, that killed the fish.

You see, when Matthew fell, he shot some dust particles at the anchovies. And even though it wind milled backwards to avoid it, the strange being got hit right between the eyes. That killed it and when it fell, it created a shockwave that blew down trees, and ate cows. * Unfortunately, Matthew woke up weeks later, and when he did, the anchovies weren't fresh anymore. So again he tried, :|| and with the fish Matthew caught, he made a pizza, and a bad one at that.