While I'm at it, let me apologise to all those who are reading Fire and Water. I'll update as soon as I can, but life's a little full at the moment, and I have a slight case of writers block. Eleri
******
I remember Christine's face in class, the day after it happened. I remember her sitting at her desk, pale, quiet, the seat beside her empty. She lasted five minutes before standing abruptly and leaving, almost running from the room.
One of her other friends went after her. They came back a few minutes later, her eyes red with tears. We all felt the loss, but it was hardest for her. Kira had been her best friend- had been! Those words taste bitter in my mouth even now. News of Kira's death - a car accident, not even her fault, she had been run down by a drunk driver- had devastated her.
For the first two days, Tuesday and Wednesday, she was silent, absolutely subdued. She did her work without speaking. She didn't answer questions or join debates. Instead of loosing one clear voice contributing to our classes, it seemed we had lost two.
Thursday morning, in history, I decided I had had enough. I didn't know Christine all that well, I had only ever talked to her when Kira was around. She was the quieter of the two. Still, it hurt to see her like that, and I missed her comments in class, her presence. I hadn't realised how much I appreciated them until they stopped.
The next class I had with her was chemistry. I talked quietly to our teacher, and he gave me permission to change seats. It was daunting sitting down next to Christine, almost as if I was intruding. The seat next to her, the empty one, had been Kira's. No one else ever sat there.
I did though, and she didn't seem to notice, so I gently brushed her arm. I wanted her to know that there were people who cared enough to try and break her shell.
She glanced up at me and gave a small smile, the first I had seen in days. It was sad, painful almost, but it was a start. "Thank you." She said, her voice barely audible.
I nodded. It was enough.
It became a habit. I would sit with her in the classes we had together- sciences and history. No one questioned my decision, or even mentioned it really. Teachers and friends alike accepted it without a word.
Gradually, Christine got better, more like her old self. She began to pull herself out of the depression she had been slipping into. She would smile more, to begin with, then she started talking again, first just to me in class, then to her old friends outside class, and to the teachers. The best day, though, was when she laughed again. It had been just over five weeks since her best friend's death.
Weeks turned into months, and months became a year, then two, then three and it was time for us to graduate. Christine had been accepted to the university she and Kira had both been planning to attend. She was going to study law, like they had planned. I was going to another university, on the other side of the country.
Over the years, we had become good friends and we promised to keep in touch. Our last night together, before I left for university, we went to her house and sat out in her garden, on the old wooden swing set.
********
"You know, I used to sit here with Kira, just like this." She smiles sadly. "We used talk for hours."
I nod, not really knowing what to say. She turns and looks me straight in the eyes. I feel hypnotised by her gaze, so full of pain, regret, sorrow and yet excitement at the future, for what is yet to come.
"I wanted to than you." She is serious, I can tell. " everything you've done these past few years."
I shrug. "I haven't really done much."
"She gives a small laugh, and shakes her head. "You know that's not true. If it hadn't been for you, back then I.I don't what I would have done." She looks away, past the house, to the sky, the stars and the moon. "Kira was my best friend. I'd known her so long She knew everything about me, everything. When she died, I didn't know what to do. I had other friends, but none as close as Kira. And they seemed scared of me. Scared of what I'd do. But you weren't. You came and."
She lets the last sentence trail off, and I reach out and brush her arm again, like I did the first time, and she smiles again.
"I promised Kira once- well it was a joint promise really, worked both ways- that if anything happened to her, ever, I'd live my life for both of us. She made me the same promise. I don't think either of us ever believed we'd have to fulfil it." now she frowns, and I can see tears in the corners of her eyes. She doesn't cy much, she never did, so it seems strange, and wrong. "I nearly didn't. I was . But you got me out of there. And now I'm doing what we both planned, and I'm keeping my promise."
The last words are almost a whisper, and then she falls silent. We sit there for a while, the cool night air full with small outdoors sounds, crickets in the long grass behind her house, the faint growling of cars out on the front road, the wind blowing into the wind chime on the porch. Neither of us want to leave, but we both know the parting is coming. Neither of us know what to say, we just want to profit from our last moments together alone as best as we can.
Her mum comes to the back door. "Daniel," she calls, "your parents just called. They want you home, you need to finish packing,." With that she goes back inside.
I turn to face Christine. "I had better go. You will come to see me off tomorrow, right?"
"Of course," she smiles, "I don't believe you even have to ask that!"
I laugh and stand up, then say, "you know, it really was nothing, all that. Maybe at first I thought it was charitable to be your friend." She raises one eyebrow, and I know what she's thinking. "I've learnt differently, though. I've only made one really close friend since we started high school, and it was a fluke. Sometimes I feel guilty, like it took a death for us to become friends, and I can't help feeling grateful we did." She nods calmly, and I continue, "Don't change who you are, Chris. I know why Kira liked you so much now, and I know why I like you so much. Because of who your are. Stay the same for my. For Kira."
With that, I leave, walking across the grass and slipping into the house. Just before I go in, I turn back. Christine doesn't move. I can still see her, in my mind's eye, sitting there on the swings. And I still remember, as clear as day, how, when I turned round, and only for a second, an instant, I could almost see Kira sitting with her.