18Nolan had not called either. Avery supposed he was busy with school, work, and Kari. It was understandable. Avery remembered how busy her senior year had been and she hadn't worked as much as Nolan did, nor was she in a serious relationship. She knew his time must be stretched very thin.
Things at work were going very well and people kept asking when she would begin her maternity leave. Avery was determined to work all the way up to her due date. She just couldn't imagine what else she would do with all of her time. Besides, the doctor had told her that she was very healthy and there was no reason she couldn't continue working if that's what she wanted to do. So, that's what she did.
Jane was touched when Avery asked her to be in the delivery room with her.
"You've been there through it all, Mom," Avery said. "I'd really like you to be there with me."
"I'd be honored," Jane said. "I can't wait to watch the birth of my first grandchild."
"You won't feel weird about it?" Avery asked.
"Not at all," Jane said. "You're my baby. Always will be. There's nothing I won't do for you."
"Thanks, Mom," Avery said with tears in her eyes.
Damn hormones. Avery found herself crying about everything these days. Even commercials on tv, especially those concerning families, had her near sobs at times. She cried when Ariane called her. She cried when Beth called or sent a card.
Avery also had a harder time sleeping at night. It often took her hours to get comfortable and as soon as she did, she'd have to use the bathroom again. She drug herself through each day, taking catnaps when she got home from work, waking up only long enough to eat something and watch an occasional tv show. Then it was off to bed again.
Her mom reminded her to enjoy the sleep she was getting, it wouldn't be long before the nights would be even more sleepless than they were now. Avery knew she was right. In less than two months, Avery would be up all night feeding her baby. To Avery, that aspect didn't sound all that dreadful. She was actually anxious to have her baby here. To be able to hold it and love it. She already loved it, more than she ever thought it was possible to love someone you'd never met.
Avery nearly jumped for joy when Beth returned for spring break in mid- March. One night, Beth and Brent dropped by, surprising Avery at home.
"What are you two doing here?" she asked as she opened the door.
She ran her fingers through her hair quickly and attempted to straighten her clothes. She'd been napping on the couch, part of her daily ritual.
"We just wanted to drop by and see you," Beth said.
"And," Brent said. "We wanted you to be the first to know that we're engaged!"
Beth held out her left hand then to show off a brilliant diamond.
"Oh my gosh!" Avery said. "Congratulations!"
She hugged both of them and closed the door as they entered.
"Have a seat," she said. "Can I get you anything to drink?"
"Water's fine," Beth said. "And I can get it. You sit down."
"Please, Beth," Avery said. "I'm not handicapped. Although I do have a small favor to ask of you two."
"What is it?" Brent asked.
"Well, my nursery furniture is all paid for, but I have no way to get it here," Avery said. "And I can't really lift it myself."
"No problem," Brent said, holding up his hand. "Nolan and I can go get it tomorrow afternoon."
"Speaking of Nolan, how is he?" Avery asked.
"Not too bad," Brent said. "He's recovering pretty well."
"Recovering?" Beth asked. "What happened?"
"He and Kari broke up," Brent said. "Didn't you know that?"
"No!" Beth and Avery answered in unison.
"I haven't talked to him since my birthday," Avery said. "Well, except when I ran into him at Hy-Vee one day."
"That's weird," Beth said. "Do you know what happened?"
"Well, they started having problems sometime in January," Brent said. "I'm not even sure what they were. I just know they were fighting a lot. And she broke up with him just a few days before Valentine's Day."
"Wow," Avery said. "How's he doing?"
"Pretty good," Brent said. "He took it pretty hard at first, but I think it's the best thing in the long run."
The three of them for silent for a few minutes as the news sunk in and the shock began to wear off. When Brent excused himself to the bathroom, Beth turned to Avery.
"Are you going to tell him now?" she asked. "Here's your chance. No girlfriend in the way."
Avery shook her head, "There's still his career. And I just don't think I could tell him now anyway."
"Why not?" Beth asked.
"I've just been lying to him for so long. I'm afraid of him getting mad, I guess," Avery said. "Besides, just because he's not with her doesn't mean he'll want to be with me. He doesn't love me like that. Remember?"
"How can you be so sure?" Beth asked. "I don't think either of you really knows how the other feels."
"Maybe it's safest that way," Avery said.
"Safe isn't always right," Beth said.
But the subject was dropped then as Brent emerged from the bathroom.
The trio chatted for awhile until Avery yawned. Beth took that as a cue to head out, and besides, she couldn't wait to spend some alone time with Brent to celebrate their engagement.
Avery bid them goodnight and locked the door behind them. As she crawled into bed that night, the words "he and Kari broke up" kept replaying themselves in her mind. Despite what she'd said to Beth that night, a small part of her really did want to tell him now. Tell him not only about the baby, but about her love for him.
Should she really say something?
But how would he react?
Would he say he loved her too?
Even if he said he loved her, would it just be because of the baby?
Maybe if she told him she love him first?
These thoughts kept her awake for some time, until she shook her head and shook off the prospect. No, she decided, I have to maintain this charade. It's really the best for all of us.
Avery was just getting out of the shower, when she heard a loud knock at her door. Pulling on a robe, she ran to answer it. It was Brent, Beth, and Nolan with her nursery furniture. She hurried to let them in, and apologized for their wait.
"I'm so sorry," she said. "I was in the shower."
"Obviously," Brent said with a smile. "No big deal."
Avery felt uncomfortable as Nolan eyed her robe. She knew he'd seen her in much less, but that had been before the belly and she suddenly felt very self-conscious.
He averted his eyes quickly and mumbled a quick "hello" as they lugged in the first piece of furniture and put it where Avery directed. When everything was in, Nolan and Brent immediately went to work putting it all together.
"Really guys, there's no rush on this," Avery said. "The baby's not due for another two weeks at least."
"That's okay," Brent said. "We might as well do it while we're here."
Nolan still hadn't said much to her, and Avery didn't understand it. As the men worked, Avery said something about it to Beth.
"He's been pretty quiet all morning," Beth said. "Brent said he's been this way for the last few weeks. Neither of us gets it either and Brent said he won't talk."
"Weird," Avery said.
She went to get dressed and comb her hair then, and when she returned the crib was nearly assembled. Watching the two men work was an interesting sight. They were both so determined to get it together. Avery thought it was quite ironic to see Nolan working so diligently on it. Little did he know he was setting up a crib for his own child, she thought.
It was after 11 by the time all the furniture had been set up and put in their proper places. Beth suggested getting lunch and Brent offered to go with her to pick it up. After they left, Avery went into the nursery and began putting some of the baby clothes into the new dresser. Nolan sat in the rocking chair and watched her for awhile.
"How have you been?" he asked suddenly, startling her.
"Alright," she said, turning to look at him. "And you?"
The tension was thicker than an August morning fog.
"Alright," he replied, looking down at his hands. "I'm sorry I haven't called you or anything."
"It's okay," Avery said, turning her attention back to the yellow sleeper in her hands. "I'm sure you've been busy."
"I guess," Nolan said. "Did Brent tell you that Kari and I broke up?"
"Yeah, last night," Avery said. "I'm sorry to hear it."
Nolan shrugged, "I'm not anymore. At first I was really upset, but now I realize that it was the best thing."
"That's nice," Avery said, not knowing what else to say.
He stood up then and walked around the room, looking at all the items in the room.
"You're pretty much set, huh?" he asked.
"Yeah," she said. "All that's missing is the baby."
She laughed then, nervously, and looked up at him. He smiled at her as their eyes met, and Avery thought she saw a hint of emotion in his eyes. But it vanished as quickly as it had appeared.
"I've missed you," he said quietly.
"I missed you too," she said.
"What happened to our friendship?" he asked. "We never used to be this awkward around each other."
I fell in love with you, she thought to herself, though she didn't dare say it.
"I don't know," Avery said.
Both of their thoughts went back to that July night they'd shared. A slow identical blush spread across their cheeks, as their eyes met again and each read what the other was thinking.
Suddenly, Avery saw Nolan moving closer to her. A sense of deja vu coursed through her as his head moved closer to hers and paused just inches away. She licked her lips in anticipation, and he closed his eyes as he closed the space between them and kissed her gently. Putting her arms around his neck, Avery pulled him closer and moaned. She hadn't been kissed in so long, particularly by Nolan, a man who could evoke so much in her. His arms went to her waist and pulled her close, so her belly was resting against his loins. As their kiss deepened, the baby kicked, startling Nolan and pulling him back into reality.
"Guess the baby doesn't like that," he said, as they parted.
"Guess not," she said. "I can't imagine why not."
The fog of tension had returned.
"I don't know why this happens every time we're alone," Nolan said, running his fingers through his hair.
"Me neither," Avery said. "But to tell you the truth, nothing has ever felt so right as when you and I are together."
He looked at her then with wide eyes, and Avery put her hand over her mouth, fearing she'd said too much.
"I'm sorry," she said. "I don't know why I said that."
She rushed from the room before he could say anything.
Nolan followed Avery from the bedroom, but as soon as he had joined her in the living room, Brent and Beth entered the apartment, ending what was beginning. Avery breathed a sigh of relief as she saw her best friend. She rushed over with a smile.
"Thank God you're here," she said. "I'm starving."
Avery was good at hiding her emotions, Nolan thought to himself. Beth and Brent appeared to suspect nothing, though in all honesty, both had sensed the tension when they walked in. Neither knew exactly what had happened, but they knew something had. The electricity in the air was unmistakable.
As they ate, the conversation was kept light and witty. When the pasta and breadsticks were gone, Beth helped Avery clean up while the men picked up their mess in the nursery and loaded the tools back into Brent's truck.
"What happened while we were gone?" Beth whispered to Avery.
"Nothing," Avery said. "Why would you think something happened?"
"Because the two of you were in the living room and Nolan looked like he was about to say something," Beth said. "And you looked like you were going to cry."
"I always look like I'm going to cry these days," Avery said, trying to shrug it off.
Beth took her her friend's arm and looked her in the eyes, "Avery, talk to me. Stop running away from this."
Avery's eyes searched Beth's and soon welled up with tears.
"He kissed me again," Avery said.
"What?" Beth asked.
"We started talking and he said he'd missed me and stuff. And suddenly, we were kissing again," Avery said. "And not just a light peck either. This was a REAL kiss. Then the baby kicked and he pulled back."
"And then what?" Beth said.
This was getting good.
"Then he said something about not understanding why this always happened when we were alone," Avery said. "And I said 'I know, but honestly nothing has ever felt as right as when you and I are together.' Oh my gosh, I'm so stupid, Beth. Why did I say that?"
"I think it was a great thing to say," Beth said, smiling.
A breakthrough, finally!
"No, it wasn't," Avery said. "He looked at me like I'd just said I was going to jump out the window."
"I'm sure he was just shocked," Beth said. "Guys are like that. Trust me, I thought Brent was going to fall off the couch the first time I told him I loved him."
"I don't know," Avery said.
"And you won't unless you and Nolan talk about this," Beth said. "You've already started, now keep the ball rolling."
"I suppose," Avery said. "I just hope it doesn't snowball and backfire in my face."
"You'll be okay," Beth said, giving her friend a hug. "Don't cry. You've nothing to cry about yet."
Avery attempted a smile and wiped her tears away quickly as she heard Brent and Nolan approaching.
"Nolan has to be at work in an hour, so we better go," Brent said. "Unless you want to stay here, Beth. I can come back and get you after I drop him off."
Beth looked at Avery questioningly to which Avery shook her head.
"Go ahead," she said. "I have some decorating work to do in the nursery and then I have to go to Mom and Dad's. Today is Ariane's birthday, so we're having dinner at the house."
"Okay," Beth said, giving Avery a hug. "Call me if you need anything. I'll be here for another week, so anytime."
"Thanks," Avery said.
Brent and Nolan simply waved as they left, though Nolan's eyes held an expression Avery couldn't place. If Nolan thought their friendship was awkward before, Avery had a feeling it was going to get worse before it ever got better.