Drawn Out Once More
Hello, loneliness.
It's been a while
Since I was gently wrapped
In your steadfast sheets of sorrow.
At that time, I accepted you so deeply
That I snuggled into the soft misery
Taking some odd degree of comfort
From the security and inevitability of despair
For I knew not the joy of love.
At that time,
I would have remained, cocoonlike, sealed
But the sweet song of a young man's voice
Forced me to leave my safe solace
And my heart, now free of its bindings
Grew wings, and I flew.
Oh, God, how high I flew
Free, rejoicing, exploring, loving.
Less safe; unprotected, and yet infinitely happier
Than I had ever been in my life.
Freedom carries a price.
That price is that freedom, when lost,
Is nonetheless remembered
And the pain of losing such a wonderful thing
Is far greater than that of enduring its absence,
Never knowing that it exists.
I chose freedom. I accepted the risks of love
And rejected loneliness
Now I face the consequence of that decision
It seems as though the time is coming
For me to lose he whom I held so dear.
I lie still, torn between panic and resignation
I don't want to go back, don't let me go-
To the person I was years before.
Lonely, yet ignorant of happiness
What will become of me?
If you live in loneliness, no one can hurt you.
If no one can hurt you, no one can love you.
Here I am, in the cocoon from long ago
Even as I hate it, I wrap myself deeper
Mourning, waiting, in emptiness
Praying to be drawn out once more.