By: Shannon H.
NOTE: I own the characters but not the rights to Blockbuster Video. Since someone left a review stating that I write a sequel...well, here's the sequel :) Another note: I have NEVER worked at Blockbuster...just to let you know.
Hey y'all. You know me. I'm Kayla Martin, the former cashier from ChickenWorx. Yeah, I found myself a new job at Blockbuster. No grease, no cleaning up after messy customers, and NO Amy Anderson...I hope. The most awesome part of this job is that my new boyfriend, Roger Spiegel, works with me. I guess I can say I have a nicer, much more normal job...
...well, ALMOST normal. But anyway...
Desparate for money for my intended, post-high school-graduation road trip, I took a new job at Blockbuster making $8 an hour. So basically, I stock videos, video games, and DVDS, sweep up from time to time, cashier, and watch movies all day. Roger and I once kissed AT WORK while watching "A Walk to Remember." That was such a sweet and romantic movie. It kinda reminds me of us (us = me and Roger).
The summer went by rather quickly since I've been working. I now have real, spending cash! I don't have to worry about having to beg my parents for money. I remember the last day of summer when I opened up Blockbuster around 10 a.m. for business...
"Hey Kayla babe!" Roger called over. "Let's watch 'XXX' this time!"
"We've seen 'XXX' about a million times, Roger," I said. "Even the manager said he was getting tired of it...and that's his FAVORITE movie!"
Oh, and I forgot to mention my new manager, Jared. He's just graduated college with a degree in English and now he's working and going to school to get his teaching credential to be a high school English teacher...AND he has about a million body piercings. Let's see: he has three ear piercings for each ear, one piercing for each eyebrow, one tongue piercing, one nose ring, one piercing on his lower lip, and one piercing on his...well, we'll leave that up to your imagination. And that's just a handful of the body piercings he has. The general manager complains that he comes in to work looking like "swiss cheese."
"Hey guys," Jared said, coming in to work. "Looks like you did a great job opening up today. Oh, and Roger, let's watch something different...something other than 'XXX.'"
"But Vin Diesel rocks!"
"Let's pick something we haven't seen yet," said Jared, deliberately ignoring Roger. "Here we go. How about 'Catch Me if You Can?'"
Jared popped the DVD into the player and we ended up watching Leonardo DiCaprio and Tom Hanks run around like chickens with their heads cut off for the next two and a half hours. Hopefully, Jared will let us watch the Lord of the Rings sequel afterward.
No sooner did Jared put on the movie did my little brother Max come in with his little, teen-age punk friends. Immediately, they went for the video game section and picked out "Grand Theft Auto."
"Max, Mom said you can't rent that," I said as he approached the counter. "It has that 'M' rating on it for 'MATURE.' And as far as I know, 'MATURE' is something you aren't."
"Shut up, Gay-La," Max said. "Don't you know? Mom's out of town visiting her sister, remember?"
"Yes, I know, Max, I'm not stupid. And don't call me 'Gay-La.' Besides, you're forgetting that Dad won't let you rent it, either."
"What Dad doesn't know won't hurt him, Gay-La," Max said with a sneer. "So here's the money and my Blockbuster card." He shoved them in my face.
"Not so fast, twerp," I said. "Dad paid me $30 not to let you rent it. So if I were you, I'd march back to the video game section and rent something else."
One of Max's buddies tapped him on the shoulder. "Forget it dude, she won't let you rent it. Besides, my older brother has 'Grand Theft Auto' so we can go to my house and play it."
"Cool, man! Let's go guys!" said Max as he and his little friends left Blockbuster, leaving the copy of "Grand Theft Auto" on the countertop.
"And don't call me Gay-La, you stupid, little twit!" I called from the register while Max and his buds whizzed away on their skateboards.
"So Max calls you 'Gay-La?'" asked Roger.
"Yes and I absolutely hate it! That little twerp gets on my nerves so much!"
Roger went over to my side to massage my shoulders. "Babe, don't let it get to ya, okay?"
"I'll try not to," I said.
Five minutes later, Mike and Steve, the newly fired employees from ChickenWorx showed up in Blockbuster Video and the two of them filed to the back of the store...where the porno flicks were.
"Oh...my...gosh, Roger!" I hissed in his ear. "Mike and Steve are gonna try to rent porno flicks!"
"Babe, they've been horn dogs from day one," he said with a grin. "Dude, those pornos are gross."
Mike and Steve approached the cash register with an armload of porno DVDs and fake . Both wore big, fat grins on their faces, hoping to score hours of nauseatingly, pornographic fun.
"If you think I'm going to let you rent that crap, you're crazy," I said to them.
"Ah c'mon babe, you're our friend," Mike said. "Heck, I'll even let you watch one with us."
"No FREAKIN' way, Mike," I said firmly. "You know darn well..."
"Kayla, you don't have to tell your church group about it if that's what's bothering you," added Steve. "It's all coo'."
"You are forgetting that most of my church group attends our high school, Steven. Heck, even Roger's in my youth group! Besides, that stuff is just...just...morally wrong."
But Mike and Steve implored and begged to rent the triple-X rated material they had dumped out before the cash register. It got so annoying that I called Jared over to help me out.
"Sorry guys but your fake don't fool me," Jared said. "I can't let you rent the material without one of your parents with you."
Mike and Steve muttered obscenities under their breaths as they headed back to put away their "precious" soft porno movies. Like my brother Max, they both left Blockbuster empty-handed.
"And don't call me 'Babe!'" I called from the cash register. "Only Roger's allowed to call me that."
"Oh well," Mike said to Steve as they were leaving the store. "My older brother has a DVD of 'Booty Call' so we can watch that instead."
After going through the ending credits of "Catch Me if You Can," Jared popped in the second Harry Potter movie into the store's DVD player, insisting that the "Lord of the Rings" sequel took too long and he would simply play it tomorrow. Just then, a guy in a dark colored coat walked into the store, headed to the very back and picked up what seemed like a truckload of porno videos. He dumped his stash on the countertop and flashed his I.D. to prove he was over eighteen. I looked over his driver's license and realized that the mysterious figure was none other than my former boss, Robert Walton, a.k.a "Robert the Drill Sgt." My eyes widened in shock but then I realized how much of a loner this guy was and since no woman would dare go out with him, this was his only source of "pleasure."
"Okay," I said. "Your total comes to...$35.98. Will you be using your Blockbuster Rewards card?"
Robert said nothing but handed over his card, attached to his keychain. After scanning his card, I realized that he had an overcharge on several more "adult films." So his total was bumped up to $43.67. Robert mumbled some obsenities while writing out a check. I looked at the check, trying to make out my former boss's sloppy handwriting, rung up the rental, and Robert grabbed his films and left briskly. That was one of the most disturbing moments of my life, next to seeing my older brother play air guitar in his smiley-face boxer shorts.
"Wow!" said Roger. "I'd never expected Robert to..."
"Yeah, me neither," I replied. "Wonder what he's doing now."
"He's still unemployed," Roger said. "His girlfriend kicked him out of the apartment they were sharing and he now lives with his mom in her basement. But I think he might be getting another managing job at a new ChickenWorx opening across town."
"My sympathies are with his future employees," I said.
Then Roger and I stared blankly at the TVs for the next several minutes, watching Harry Potter and his friends fight evil in the "Chamber of Secrets" until Amy "Bad Hair Day Barbie" Anderson and her boyfriend-of-the-month, Jake (the new quarterback for the varsity football team) came in the store to rent something. While Jake suggested renting "XXX," Amy whined loudly, stating that Vin Diesel "didn't look good enough." So she suggested renting her "favorite movie in the whole, wide world," which happened to be "Steel Magnolias." Jake replied that he had seen that movie with her so many times that he had practically memorized the script from the movie. Amy begged and whined to the point where Jake sighed and they both picked up a copy of "Steel Magnolias." Then, Jake headed to the new releases section and picked up a copy of "XXX" and put it both movies on the counter.
"'Steel Magnolias' again, huh?" I said to Amy in a teasingly-retortful voice. "Don't you get tired of that movie?"
"Never," she replied coldly. "Jake and I love watching it."
Jake cleared his throat loudly and nudged her in the side, expressing his discomfort at her response.
"Don't do that!" she snapped! "It's bad enough I have to sit through that stupid 'XXX' movie!"
"Well, it's not my problem that you rent the same dang movie over and over again, forcing ME to watch it when you know darn well I hate it!" retorted Jake.
"Fine then!" Amy stomped over and put back her beloved "Steel Magnolias" and took out "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days" instead.
"Awww, I don't want to watch that!" Jake said. "My little sister has that on DVD and I had to watch that a million times, too!"
"Tough!" Amy said angrily.
I rolled my eyes as I checked out their movies and the two of them left Blockbuster, not holding hands as they were before they came in.
"If she likes the movie so much, then she should buy it," Roger said.
"Amy doesn't have common sense, Roger," I replied. "She never had common sense in the first place."
I sighed heavily as I continued to ring up the NORMAL-sounding customers. "Some people will never learn," I thought to myself.
Well, that's the end of my summer. It finished out better than I thought..well, better for me, anyway. Here's an update on what happened. A week after the squabble in Blockbuster, Amy and Jake broke up. Since then, Amy started spreading untrue rumors about Jake. Fortunately for him, no one believed her. Mike and Steve managed to get ahold of some porno flicks from Mike's older brother and started watching them, until they were caught by Mike's parents. Both of them were grounded by their "parental authorities" and Mike's older brother was forced to lock away his porno movie collection. Robert the drill Sgt. did land a new job at the newly opened ChickenWorx across town; unfortunately, he never got a management position and was reduced to cashiering and serving food. At the same time, he's still trying to get back into the Navy and back with his ex-girlfriend. As for my little brother, Max, he was caught playing "Grand Theft Auto" at his friend's house BY my dad when he went to pick him up. He's grounded for 2 weeks. Ahh...life is better than I thought.