Best Friends?

"What was that?"
"I dunno, Meagan." What was that about? What is Helen up to now? Maybe she's trying to be nice. Wait, this is Helen we're talking about! Well, though, what has she done to me? Oh, well, one less Friday night to sit and contemplate cutting or suicide again. My poor arms, they're so scarred, and so are my legs and my stomach. I'd have thought someone would have at least noticed by now, maybe even cared, but then what am I worth anyway? Nothing. That's it.
"Well, are you really going to go?" What is she thinking? Why wouldn't I, and what's it matter to her? She'll be hanging around with her other friends and not paying attention to me. What's her problem? She seems to blow me off a lot. Can't I at least have other friends to depend on when that happens? She deserves it anyway.
"Yeah, why not? I don't have anything else to do this weekend." What is her reaction going to be; get mad. pout. get back somehow? After all she's done I don't think she has the right to do any of those things.
"But. but. I was planning on asking you over. I don't have anything to do now." Well, cry me a river! God, I hate it when she pouts! It's just so childish.
"Sorry, it's a bit too late and I'm sure you'll find something to do. Plus, I always spend time with you. I need more friends too. Don't want peeps thinking I'm going anti social on them. Plus, you have other good friends, I'm sure you'll be ok." Oh, I just love that look, but how could I have said that? I hope she isn't that hurt.
"Well, ok, maybe next week. We'll have a lot of fun."
"Yeah, sounds good." Man, my face hurts from all these forced smiles.
"Oh, and," I hate the bragging way she adds that in like an after thought. "I'm helping Leslie study tonight. She says I'm the only person who can help her; I mean I do have the highest grade in the class. The teacher just can't teach Chemistry right. I have to learn it on my own, you know. So, don't bother coming over tonight."
Isn't that just a lovely way of saying, 'I'm smarter than you, and Lindsey believes that so I'm deserting you for her.' Ok maybe I'm over doing it, but man, could you get any closer to saying that? "I'll be right back. I have to go to the bathroom, ok?"
"Oh, ok, but I've got something to tell you, so hurry back." And yet another forced smile. Wonder if my face will stick this way? How can she be so deceiving?
Man, this hallway is crowded. Why don't people talk IN THEIR CLASSROOMS? No one in here. Good! I can clench my fists and grit my teeth without questioning.
Ok, better now. I wonder what she has to tell. oh great! She's talking to Leslie now. Time for another fake smile. Happy thoughts! NO I am NOT depressed. NOTHING IS WRONG! Everything is so freaking peachy I'm starting to feel fruity!
"OH, NOT YOU! Leave!" Love you too, Leslie!
"Hey, Meg, I'm back!"
" Oh, no!" Oh, YEAH! Just do that. Hide behind Leslie and pretend I'm not here. It's not like you're my best friend or anything, right? Nah!
"Uhm, Meg, I thought you had something to say?"
"Not that I know of. Hey, Les, wanna come over tonight?"
"I'm busy tonight but next week's free."
Oh, no, Meg. What was that guilty look at me for? "Ok, it's a date. I don't have anything either." So THAT'S what that was for! "We'll watch movies, Mom'll order out, maybe Mexican. Saturday we can go to the big park and hike, look for cute guys you know!" Nope, I don't matter. Not like we'd planned anything anyway. Couldn't have!
"I'm feeling a bit dizzy. I'm just going to sit down."
"Ok." Err, she doesn't even look like it matters if I'm sick or not! Who needs enemies when you have a friend like Meagan Quinlinn?