8Cast:
Gush: My stuffed male cow. A part of the family and very sarcastic he is an outlet for all of my sarcasm and randomness
Tricia: My little bro's pet hamster. Very fat and nick-named "the great hamduni" for her daring escapes from her cage.
Chisia: (unsure of speeling) His name means little in Japanese, but he seems to have grown over the past furry-I mean loving years into our huge loving cat. Sweet tempered and always looking for a foot to plup his fat butt onto for love, his imposing size can be a bit of a shocker
Me: *Smiles* you wish!
Dad: the object of this strange email he has been away in India for the past week and his stay will continue for another month. Sheesh! I miss him. He and I are always joking around together about Gush (he doesn't seem to trust him much) and Chisia, both of which compete for our attention. I fancy my Father as the closest person to me and my best friend (other then Gush and maybe my twin sis, Alia). I love and miss you terribly, Dad!
Now stand back and enjoy-this maybe a bit confuzziling- *smirks*
*Gush rejoices* "So you're saying there's a chance?" hehehehehe! You are looking (kinda... work with me here!) at the hero of the day! I was in the kitchen when all of a sudden this horror film music starts playin'(you know the stuff from the oldies) and who should step out of the shadows but the dastardly, monstrously huge, Evil and maniacal, horrible at checkers, fur ball King-*dum da dum!* CHISAI CAT! *numerous "gasps" sound about the room and people drop to their knees in horrorific wonder and fear* With a smug look apparent on that ugly...I mean not so pleasant mug of his he bounded across the kitchen floor toward me with... *gasp! The tension!* ...Tricia in his tightening claws! The gorgeous (fat) damsel of second cage street (AKA the boy's room) had been wandering the kitchen floor in a meager attempt at food and upon seeing the terrible ordoful feline grace his fat butt over the floor fainted dead away (ran in circles trying to run from the hideous beast) With an evil laugh (coughing up a hair ball) "MWUHAHAHAHAHA"(~-for lessons and correct pronunciation, see Gush) he scooped up the fair lady (germ infested rodent) and catapulting himself onto the precarious counter with a chainsaw(he couldn't find anything else that could hold his weight, the huge oaf). I had been viewing the whole account with my own eyes and contemplating upon a daring rescue and escape plan (that is-I was scared stiff and couldn't move). The white in my eyes matched his fur and I pondered what a lovely scarf he would make dangling' from...but that isn't the point! I had to rescue the beautiful Tricia! (I hated her name but what gives!) With all of my body weight I threw my self at the cat (I tripped over my own six feet-gush was with me) but he swapped me down with a potent paw and I fell crumbling to my death, falling with a sharp thud and a snap! I gurgled for breath (I cursed the day the Beatles were abducted by aliens at Walla Walla and sent to work at a shoe factory in northern France to pay for their debts to society!) And tried to mutter my last few words, but Tricia's eye caught mine and I jumped up with deadly intent (I had to go to the bathroom) I reached out my arms and admitted, "Tricia! I am your... uh... hold on a second..." My mind had gone blank; sweat beads fell in a waterfall about my forehead, "Oh yes. I am your COW!" I spoke with intensity (I REALLY had to go to the bathroom and this was taking too long) but nothing could have prepared me for what she did next. Her feeble frame breathed in and screamed so loud and booming, all of her emotions now let lose upon a grieving world that is still rejoicing with their new shoes. Her voice shook the house and rafters began to fall here and there, nearly deafening me (She squeaked). A tear came to my eye (onions...*Sigh* had too many for dinner) and with that I flew my self against the monster Cat, wrestling him to the ground; gnashing my teeth and scratching myself (for the heck of it!). He wailed in pain as I got him in a head hold (I wish). I then scooped up Tricia and fled...I mean walked away, humbly accepting gratitude for saving the day and signing shoes. P.S. Gush would like to know if you can spare him Chisia's things... you know...his litter box and collar. He also wants to know on what basis you have the right to award such an evil feline a collar and not the trustworthy male cow you have known all of... the worthy part of your life? Yeah...he also wants his brush, if you can get the fur balls out. (THIS STORY WAS BASED ON A TRUE INCIDENT AND HAS FOLLOWED THE TRUE INTENT OF THE AUTHOR'S WISHES. -to be the weirdest person on the world and sell shoes-AND HAS FOLLOWED EVERY STEP OF THE INCIDENT TRUTHFULLY-more or less) - - .::ANOTHER E-MAIL A FEW MINUTES AFTERWARDS::.
Have you slunked up to a shoe, lately? Gush is very greedy...I mean eager for your return. I did save Trent's hamster from certain death (Chisia's breath-would have killed her right then and there) and perhaps this humble hero could attain some sort of virtuous gift? I WANT A COUNTRY! *Gush pushes Alana from the keyboard, drugging her and pushing her into the closet, unable to lock it however because he only has opposable thumbs on one hoof* Gush is a good cow. Gush is a handsome cow. Gush is a deserving cow. Gush is a special cow. Gush is a humble cow. Gush is a kind cow. Gush is an imaginative cow. Gush is a respected cow. Gush is a *Alana breaks lose from the closet, spitting out a shoe* Conniving little brute and needs his mad cow inoculation! *Alana is dragged away by men in white* (mom wants me to go to bed)