I learned many things in high school.

I learned not to trust people with my feelings. There aren't as many nice people around as I thought there were.

I learned not to depend on religion as a meaning of life. Religion is not for all people and most definitely not for me.

I learned that I would prefer boy hostility rather than girl hostility: When boys are angry, they fight. When girls are angry, they spread rumors and there are no rules.

I learned that perseverance can help you achieve your goals.

I learned that true friends are hard to come by and sometimes the only way to tell if they are true is to see if they stick around after school gets out for the year.

I learned that happiness is elusive, hard to come by, and unable to be kept for more than the briefest periods of time.

I used to write.

When angst was the only emotion that I felt, when it throttled me day by day, I would write.

When I found out that the only true friends I had were the ones through the computer, I would write.

When my body ached so much after rehearsal that even walking hurt, I would write.

When I hurt.I would write.

Then I learned a new way to cope:: Repress. Do not trust. But, most of all, repress.

I repressed.

And I no longer write.

I graduated high school two weeks ago. Already it feels like two months. And I just realized: I no longer write.

I used to write. I enjoyed writing. But my writing has been sacrificed upon my new coping mechanism - repression.

I will write. But first I must find the strength within myself to rediscover the angst harbored within my high school self.

I realize that as I type this, I am sitting perfectly straight, my back not against the chair. Normally I slouch against the chair, legs propped up on an open drawer, practically laying down at the computer.

I have readjusted. Maybe this will help.

I used to write. I want to write.

Will I write again?

Writing is one of the greatest gifts humankind possesses.

I will win it back.

I used to write.

It will be difficult, but.

.I will write again.