summary: Khat, Aurek, Gavin, Skyler, and Zak; best friends. Of course, they always say you'll end up marrying your best friend... ^.^ (not all are gay..well, one isnt. O.o)
warnings: boy x boy love
disclaimers: trademarked isn't mine, everything else is.
notes: Narrated by Aurek. ^^ (of course, chapters will switch POVs)
Chapter 1: Shadows of the Evening
Someone once said, "Sympathy constitutes friendship; but in love there is a sort of antipathy, or opposing passion. Each strives to be the other, and both together make up one whole." I remember reading that in English class during my senior year, never having before applied that to the situation that me and my four best friends found ourselves in. I came across the dusty, old notebook in that attic while I was cleaning this morning and was reminded of all that happened nearly ten years ago. It was my journal and written across the first page was the quote from James Baldwin. I spent the majority of my senior year scribbling down my emotions; I was never very good with words but my friends could more than compensate for my silence.
I catch my reflection in the mosiac mirror above the fireplace in my study. Time has definitely been kind to me; I look hardly any different from when I was seventeen. I relax on the plush chair, eyes darting towards a seashell studded picture frame standing regally and proud on the corner of the cherry desk. My best friends. Khat, Gavin, Skyler, and Zak. We each had the strangest names, mine being Aurek. I think it made us know we were different from the rest and that we were unique. We were each popular in our own areas but when those last bells rang for school to be dismissed, we each meshed into our quintet.
Standing a little away from the human contact of the rest of us is Zak. He was always the melodramatic and the self-proclaimed rebel of Prince William Highschool. He never paid much attention to other people; he just didn't care. The dark, almost obsidian eyes without a single feeling, stared right at the person holding the camera. The eye liner and brow ring gave him sort of frightening demenaor but I always knew he was really a teddy bear inside. The neverending raven spikes were styled with just about the most strongest pomeade he could find at Sally's Beauty Supply. I always thought he was beautiful, whether he believed it or not. He was paler than me (and thats saying a lot) and the tallest of our group, reaching nearly six foot six. I felt dwarfed when standing next to him considering I, even now, am only five foot four. Zak was a slacker in school when it came to the core subjects but during the art classes, Zak excelled tremendously. I haven't seen or spoken to him in seven years since he graduated college and moved to England. Sad, isn't it?
With the brightest and most charming grin plastered to his face is Skyler. His wiry arms are flung across Khat's and Gavin's shoulders, six foot three frame bent slightly to accomadate the shorter boys. His sandy hair, streaked with different shades of brown and blonde fell in layers to his chin. A few freckles dominate his nose and cheeks, adding a boyish air (something which he definitely lived up to. He was the most childish.) Deep, murky brown oculates speckeled with gold flecks held an innocence and naivety; that initially attracted me to him. Yes, he was handsome but he was perfect on the interior as well. He was always my hero. Sounds rather lame, doesnt it? There was just something about Skyler that you had to admire and love. He was friendly to everyone, you know, the person that you go to school to see everyday. If it wasn't for that person, it wouldn't be worth it. Skyler wasn't the most intelligent of the five of us but he made average grades and made up for the lack with his personality and sports. Skyler was, and is, the athlete of the Caraid. (What we called ourselves.) He juggled lacrosse, basketball, soccer, and golf but that came through in the end for he was awarded a scholarship to Florida State University. He now plays professional soccer. I see him from time to time when I go home to visit my family and he goes to visit his. I often wonder if he relives our year together but, I doubt it. Pleasant fiction, after all.
Khat was the mousy one out of us; the nerd. He made straight A's throughout highschool and took more Advanced Placement courses than needed or even recommended but it wasn't any hard task for him. Khat refused to cut his hair, the golden locks were pulled into a messy ponytail. His bangs skim the top of the small, oval glasses, deep blue eyes staring up at Skyler imploringly and a little annoyed. Skyler always teased Khat and yet, Skyler was the one to always stand up for Khat when the bullies targeted him. Our first day of highschool, Khat was being shoved into his locker when Skyler came to his rescue and punched the bully. Thus was how we adopted Khat into the Caraid. For the rest of us, we grew up together in Virginia Beach and became fast friends in kindergarten. Khat attended Princeton and graduated two years earlier than he should have due to his accumulating Advanced Placement scores. Khat lives in New Zealand, making a study of the rainforest and doing whatever other odds and ends that biologists do. Its been five years since our last meeting, our different lives and schedules conflicting.
Gavin and I grew up together as nieghbors so, technically, we started the Caraid and brought the others in. Gavin wasn't as exuberant as Skyler but he still had his share of admirers and fan clubs, something he must be thankful he got used to in highschool. Gavin, like Khat, refused to have his hair trimmed hence, the reason why the long tendrils of midnight black skim his elbows at his sides. I used to see the hair as a hindrance but I got used to it and appreciated it for the beauty that it was. It's Gavin's eyes that one first notices, despite the hair. An odd shade of emerald green that changed hues depending on his emotions. When he was angry, the green darkened substantially to a dark hunter shade and when he was extremely happy, the green became a light peridot. He was lean and slender and he always reminded me of a Grecian statue, that some artist had slaved for years over. He models now and one can't go to the stores without seeing his lovely face on a magazine or him posing for Calvin Klein or Armani, among others. I'm told that he lives in New York and after the attacks on September 11th, his apartment was destroyed. I was worried about him, of course, even if we stopped corresponding soon after our lives went their seperate routes. Luckily he was in France, preparing for a photo shoot. He lives in Soho, New York now which is an expensive district but his job can more than pay for it.
Finally, there's me, shyly smiling at the camera as Gavin all but shoves me into the circle. I never knew why I was cherished by the four of them as much as I was. I wasn't as handsome, athletic, or smart. I was, and still am, a small, compact person that has to sit on my feet in order to watch a movie at the theatre. Wayward locks of auburn hair, a darker crimson than most other people of Irish descent, never quite settled on my scalp, giving me a sort of lazy appearance. I used to hate the color of my eyes; a light purple that I used to get picked on about but my Irish temper, seen only a few times in my life, always warned people to leave me alone. I was ghostly pale and not the pretty pale like Zak. I'm freckled in just about every spot of my body but one; which I'll let you take a wild guess on. How I was able to be the reciever of Skyler's heart vexes me to this day. I was one of those boys who played videogames, watched Japanese anime, read the Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings books until the copies were worn and needed to be replaced, and yet still retained a social life with the Caraid. I knew at a young age that I was gay but refused to admit it to anyone which was why I kept my journal. I knew when I first met Skyler in kindergarten that I would undoubtely develop a tremendous crush on him and I did, during ninth grade. As for me, I'm a novelist. I spend my days typing up new stories and adding other archs to books already published. It's a good life, pays modestly well, and I have the comfort of being my own boss. I live in Cape Hatteras, North Carolina. I love it here. The ocean, the seagulls, and even the hurricanes are welcome and add a serenity to the place. I'm now twenty-eight, a decidedly young age, and find myself reminescing on the past constantly.
I turn in the chair to stair from the window at the rolling waves of the grey-blue sea, the skies have darkened and it'll storm soon. I shut the computer off and lounge in the chair, resting my legs on the table. Its times like these that I miss my friends the most. Usually, it was just me and Skyler when it rained for Gavin refused to get himself wet and the other two boys lived a few blocks away and Skyler was the one with the sister that could drive. I thought, after we reached a certain age and began our social lives as sophomores, that those visits would end but they didn't. Even in our senior year, Skyler came over when it stormed. I think it was because it was a security blanket for him; to know he would always have somewhere to go. Skyler was insecure about those sorts of things; most of it stemming from the fact that his parents divorced. I sometimes wonder if I had hurt Skyler by refusing to move with him to Florida after we graduated. He knew I couldn't. He also knew that we would have to choose our own paths and that we might not ever meet again.
Life sluggishly paces forward though, you know? You spend so much time looking back that you dont see the doors of the future open, the doors of happiness. I'm one of those constantly stuck in the memories but...once you get to thinking about it, aren't the memories what we all live for? Don't they make life worth living so that maybe, one day, you can recreate them and make new ones? The wind is howling against the plexyglass panes, the first drops of rain are spattering. There's no thunder or lightning. I was once told that when it rains, somewhere in Heaven an angel's crying. I used to wonder why the angel would cry. I still believe in that poetic nonsense, call me sentimental if you will.
It's so quiet. The only sounds I can hear are the clock chiming, the wind, the rain, the fish tank burbling, and my own breathing. It's too damn peaceful for someone my age. Shouldn't I be settled down by now? Have a boyfriend and a couple adopted children? Or even a husband, since North Carolina does accept gay unions. Skyler still carries my heart. I think he always will too. Don't you always love your first? I wonder if he's married to some woman yet? Skyler told me that he wasn't gay or bisexual and that I had been the only one to affect him in anyway. I smile, eyes sliding shut sleepily. He always made me feel special but to imagine him with someone hurts.
I sigh, shifting in the seat, being lulled by the weather and the rocking waves. I pack tomorrow and return home for Virginia Beach. It's nearly Thanksgiving and despite the fact that I always end up going alone to my families holidays, its nice to feel wanted. My sister and brother will be there with there with their respective families and I'll be forced into babysitting. I dont mind. It gives me a miniscule taste of what I could have one day if I only permit myself to... for now...I want to bask in the memories, of the carnival of our lives that we thought would never end.
~ _ ~
...Good? O.o The story will retell senior year and the relationships. I may make a sequel of Aurek in his present life. Depends... ^_^
note: the rain and the Angel crying bit is from Edana's stories. ^_^
Review please! I'd really really appreciate it.