Lower than low
I am only humanity's child
I must ruin the earth
Along with the legions of blind idiots
Who think they own it all
My creator,
Why do you torment me so?
I was nice to my parents and friends
I did what I was told
What I've become is all I have to show for it
My pills ran out
They send me to another doctor
And I get more
Then they send me home
But they don't understand
These prescriptions that they give me
Back me into a corner
Now I'm trapped
Hooked on my pills
Terrified of my obsession
Tears streaming down my face
As I swallow more
They can't find out
No one can
They wouldn't understand
How terrible it is
Having medicines control your mind
Hiding from discovery
Like a witch being hunted
Burying my lies in a thin layer of dirt
They wouldn't understand it
They couldn't understand it
Neither can I
My soul is dying inside me
Hate grips my heart, killed me long ago
I don't even have my innocence anymore
Just fear and bitterness
And love
But what good did love ever do me
It was the very thing that destroyed my innocence
And despair
They don't know what it's like
To be obsessed
So many pills
Sickening fear
Guilt and hate
As I swallow the pills
With a glass of water
Shall this be my fate?
Obsession, to ruin my life
I loathe myself
Every fibre of my being aches with hate
Hate, for what I am
I try to blink back my tears
That are welling in my eyes
And drip into my glass of water
Neither half empty or half full
Why does it matter anyways
A glass half done
Almost finished
What is there to contemplate
There are other things that need more attention.
I am so deeply afraid
Of myself
I can't resist the impulses
That come from the pills
I swallow them one by one
Crying up a torrent
Swallowing the pills
This is all I am
There is no future for me