Something You Can't Fix

A pain,

A damned pain,

A pain,

So deeply bleeding,

So deep,

That not even

The heavens could know,

Not even

The angels could feel,

What it's like,

To feel this,

This pain.

Deep and sharp,

Knowing that

Somehow,

You've screwed

Something up again.

Hard to push away,

The knowledge

That it can't be fixed,

That no tool

No band-aid

Could heal

What damage

You have done.

Somehow,

Since you've

Done it again,

You've screwed up

All over again,

Guilt takes you,

And you go

From anger,

To sorrow,

To pain,

To the Guilt

That plagues

You finally.

Little words,

Make the mistakes

For you,

Big words,

Only make it

Ten times

Worse.

When you try,

Try to get out,

What grief you feel,

How much

It hurts,

To know you can't,

Can't fix it,

With a tool,

Or a band-aid

Hell is better,

Because it's easier,

When you don't

Have time

To concentrate

On the guilt-

The pain,

All you know is fire.

It's easier in hell.

Because,

You know,

You can see,

Others that suffer

As well as you.

Instead of feeling

So alone.

So dead,

So full of guilt…