Vomit had come to a decision. Enough was enough, and it was time to put a stop to this foolishness. Malice had to be stopped once and for all.

Of course, coming to the decision was the easy part. The problem that Vomit had was that as he had been specifically constructed to be Malice's trusty accomplice, there were certain rules by which he was bound. One of these rules being that he was not allowed, under any circumstances, to betray his master.

Vomit had been contemplating this matter for some time now, trying to find a way around this draconian measure. He had even put in a call to the evil accomplices union representative to see if they could offer him any advice. But the fact was that he was stuck with the job, and there was no loop-hole that could free him.

This meant that his only chance of freedom would be to see if he could try to find a way to trick Malice into freeing him from his obligations, at which point he could just go and put his feet up and relax on a beach somewhere.

Probably a secluded beach when he thought about it, as on a public beach he was liable to be hauled away and destroyed just in case he was some sort of radioactive waste or something.

After all, it isn't really all that common for 3ft tall bright green piles of puke (with bits of carrot) to turn up on the beach on a nice summers day and be made welcome by the normal people.

Occasionally, he would dream of one day having enough money to be able to afford surgery to correct his more prominent faults, but then he would remember that he was, in fact and in total, his most prominent fault.

No, he was doomed to look like this for all eternity.

Or at least until his contract expired and he could rejoin the evil accomplice temping pool, and hope that his next master was intelligent enough not to eat garlic and egg mayonnaise pizza whilst conducting experiments on a homemade chemistry set in an unventilated room.

It hadn't always been like this for Vomit. When he had volunteered for the evil accomplice course, he had been promised travel, the ability to go to places that no one else had ever gone before. He had also been promised adventure, and assured that he would be performing a noble service that would benefit the entire galaxy.

He had been a model recruit, top of his class in all subjects. And then, on his first assignment, he had been stuck with Malice.

Even now the sheer incompetence of the idiot would make Vomit's blood boil, if he actually had any. However, as he was lacking in the blood department, all he could really do was rage silently to himself. And then he had an idea.

The problem was, that this was an idea that he was not able to voice, as it could be construed by certain people as the beginning of a plot to in some way betray his master, which was the last thing he would ever want to do, of course.

He knew what happened to people like him who deliberately betrayed the people that had brought them into existence, and this was something that even now, in his hyper frustrated state, he was not prepared to risk.

It would be far better to put up with another 50 years of Malice-led idiocy than to have to deal with the alternative. That just did not bear thinking about at all. I mean, the sheer indignity of someone of his calibre, top of his class in every subject at school, earmarked for swift and rapid promotion through the ranks, with the possibility of one day even gaining a promotion to a dictatorship of his own somewhere.

No, much as he disliked his current master, he was not going to give up his dream in order to achieve petty revenge. He would never live it down amongst his friends if word were to get out. The very idea of the sheer ignominy of it all was enough to make Vomit shudder. No, whatever else might happen during the course of his existence, Vomit made a solemn vow to himself;

He would never put himself in a position where his actions could lead to him being demoted to having to resort to becoming a presenter on the shopping channel.