7"Sir!" shouted a man. The man was six feet all and had brown hair and wore a black suit, with sunglasses on. Almost a Neo rip off. He was in a big room; the room had red carpet, and guards everywhere. Sitting on a chair was Len. He had grown up being an evil mad man, not wanting to, but by necessity. He had black hair that had grown over his eyes. They were still visible, but barely. He was five eight and wore a t-shirt and some baggy pants. He was currently twenty-six. He looked at the guard. "What?" his dad had been an evil mad man before him, and then his grandfather before that.
"We have an army of one million, that almost rivals the British. Are we going to invade?"
"Ah. Why the hell not. But first!" he motioned with his hand. A little six-year-old kid with red hair and reddened cheeks walked in.
"Sir?" he said.
"Trusted planner!" he said standing up. He walked to the small kid and patted his head. "What do you think of these plans?" he showed him a piece of paper that had doodles and other things written on them.
". . ." the kid studied it. His eyes glowed. "Perfect!"
"Okay trusted-"
"Wait! A flaw!" he pointed to the paper. "Look here." He showed him the doodle of the bomb over England. "See here, this is where you put the bomb."
"But that's in Iceland." Said the man who had been in there earlier.
"I know!" said the kid.
"Oh I see. . ." said Len.
"Sir really, we shouldn't waste a bomb on such a small cou-" said the man before being cut off.
"Silence! This 'Ice' land seems very intriguing. I think we should set a main base of operations there. It's icey, even if that's a word. No one would want to go there, it's INGENOUS."
"Sir. In Iceland it's actually very grassy and hi-"
"I said silence now kill that man!" he pointed towards a guard. The guard looked around and was dropped into a pit. Len walked up to the man. "You are now the trusted lieutenant. That man was well a guard and hey other guard!" he pointed to another one. "Kill the current lieutenant!"
"Sir!" the guard ran out and came back in a second later, his face bloody. "He put up a fight but I think I kicked him in the balls. Then he ran away."
"Ok. . .TRUSTED LIEUTENANT!"
"Sir I'm righ-"
"I said, 'TRUSTED LIEUTENANT."
"What, sir?"
"Get our things! We're going on a road trip. . ." the kid ran around in circles laughing and Len joined him. The lieutenant just walked away.
"Wooh!" said Len running out of their "base" that turned out to be a old supermarket. Even though he hadn't lied about the troops their base was in need of moving out of Albany, New York. After getting in about three million cars that Len had somehow gotten his hands on, the lieutenant didn't dare ask. They went to the coastline and Len paid for the tickets, a million of them.
"Sir?" said the lieutenant.
"Where did you get all that money?"
"Oh, I found the pot at the end of the rainbow, it's awesome! They send you a moose trading card and a million bucks everyday! See look!" he showed him a tax refund.
"Sir, you just paid too much. Or you are getting the wrong refund."
"Do not question Len!" said the kid.
"Oh yeah," said Len. "You've been following me around, Trusted Planner, what's your name?"
"I told you eight times alr-"
"Name."
"Timothy Barker."
"Ahaha! Timothy. . . Trusted Planner do not tell me such things!"
"Want to see my year book?"
"You aren't even in school, are you?"
"I am in KINDERGARTEN! You didn't notice!? Where else would I get a Burger King hat!?"
". . .Burger King?" said lieutenant.
"Besides there!"
"Fine. Kindergarten, I am sorry for questioning your intelligence." If he wanted, the lieutenant could take over the business, but he respected the thoughts that it was a family owned business. Sucker.
Iceland
"What the hell!?" said Len as he walked out of the airport. "It's supposed to be cold! Trusted Lieutenant!? You failed me!?"
"I said it was-"
"Silence!" he looked around. "I'll just get my top secret scientists to create me a super weather-thingy. Yeah that'd be good. Trusted Lieutenant! Carry out the order immediately."
"We don't have any scientists, you killed them all."
"Kidnap some! Sheesh! You have no idea how hard it is to be a Evil Overlord. I mean you have to kill and kill and kill and then when your all tired and stuff your killings did bad when at first you thought you did good but at the same time you did bad and you question yourself for these thoughts then you think of how Pokemon went out and then! And then! You think of SpongeBob."
"You must have a hard life sir." A sarcastic tone ran all over his voice.
"Enough of this banter! Lets find our base of operations!" he walked around and looked through the parking lot. "This should be good." He got out a notepad and sketched a overlord base. "INGENIOUS!" he gave it to lieutenant.
"What do you want me to do with it, sir?'
"Send it so Sherwin Williams or something, they can build houses right?"
"No, they sell paint."
"Oh well get them Sony people to do that."
"They don't build houses either."
"Damn it who does!"
"Well maybe we could contact the Evil Business Man and he can tell us?" he showed Len a card, it had a number and Satan on the front.
"Satan, eh? Well let me see him in action." He took his cell-phone out and dialed a couple of numbers. "How do you spell help?"
"What are you doing?"
"Text messaging."
"Why don't you just call him?"
"Because, lieutenant, that is so nineties. Do you get out at all. Hey look he answered. What do you want." He read from the screen. He punched "I want help." He waited. "Damn it answe-ah look it that. For what?" he punched in, "To build house." He sat patiently as lieutenant and Tim looked around. The troops started to file out of the airport, eating the complementary taco's. "Be there in a second."
All of a sudden the ground started to shake. A rip in the parking lot opened and a red light came out. A man with a white business suit popped out. "Hello. I am Satan. Sell you soul to me and I will do anything for you."
"Well first off, Satan; I want a pony."
"Who's soul will this be going to?"
"His." He pointed to a random soldier. A gray outline of the soldier came out of his body and went in the crack. It was screaming. "That was unexpected. Oh yes. I want a base of operations to go out to that guy." He gave Satan his drawling and pointed to another guy that was beside the first. The same happened and the man fell down, his eyes white. The crack grew larger, sending Len and the troops backward. A giant pill appeared out of the crack. It quickly closed to it's regular size.
"One sec," said Satan as he grew larger in till he got to the top of the pill. He put a dab of water on it and the pill turned into a huge house, destroying the airport and everything around it. Seconds later they were inside the main hall and the troops had been separated and went to their barracks.
"I love this job," said Len.
"So when are we going to invade Britain sir?" said lieutenant. "It would really help us be noticed."
"I don't know." Len was playing a Playstation2 game with Tim. Tim was beating him horribly in what seemed to be a fighting game. "What'd you think Tim?"
"I think we should invade them, after I kick your butt!"
"Oh yeah!? Take this!" the character punched Tim's. Tim's opened his arms and a giant beam came out, half killing Len's. Len switched characters and kicked his. Tim's once again half killed the character. Then Tim gave it the final combo and won the match. "Just a button masher." He tossed the controller aside. "Lets go to Britain. . .I feel like destroying right now, kinda like this!" he kicked a cushion. It flew in the air and landed. Tim ran up and kicked it.
"Like this!"
"No like this!" Lieutenant just walked away. An hour later they joined him laughing at the scene just an hour ago. Lieutenant gave them a smile.
"Ready to go?"
"Yes, wait how are the soldiers going?"
"They have their own ships, we will be in the back, observing. We don't want you to die, of course. So sir please get on board." They walked onto the ship, it was a standard military issue. "And this is our quarters."
"It's too small."
"What?"
"Where am I going to fit the Ps2? I mean the cubby hole wont do."
"Sir we need to focus on other things than games."
"No! I want my Ps2!"
"But sir!"
"No."
"Fine. Fetch someone to get it." He told a boy cleaning outside. The boy ran off. "Sir, at six am we are going to reach Britain, and the invasion can begin."
"That's where we take over Tokyo right?" said Tim.
"Tokyo is in Japan."
"And Japan is in. . ."
"Japan."
"How can it be inside-"
"IT'S A COUNTRY."
"Oh. Lookit that."
Len walked around the ship. He could have his stupid times, but he was truly an invader, he once saw his father do it in 1980. He was only three at the time but he liked the feeling that a country was to be his fathers, and then soon his own. Deep within him his body urged for conquering. He liked the feeling, the taste, the smell, the everything. Even as a child.
A ten year old Len ran down the hall of a school, it was his old, private school. He ran inside a doorway and three other heavy boys followed. "Pay up." He said.
"But I only have a quarter!" said the kid at the table.
"We need fifty cents, so pay up or get beat up." A little devil aint he?
"No!"
"Then get beat up, go!" the three guys ran out and the kids friends joined in. Len ran up and started on the first boy as one of the boys who followed him helped out. He punched the kid and kicked him in the groin. The kid fell back and one of his minions punched him in the head. By this time the nun had appeared.
"Len!?" she yelled.
"I'm sorry for everything, Ms. Johnson, it's just you need to tell your kid to pay up." He said to the mother.
Another flashback, he was four and in the sandbox at the day care. "Hahah!" he kicked a sandcastle. A little girl started crying. "Shut up!" he threw sand at her and ran to the blocks and ran head first into them. His driver looked on through the gate and laughed.
"Len! Stop torturing the kids, you'll have your chance." The driver picked him up.
"Wooh!" the little kid yelled as they left the day care, leaving the little destruction Len had caused in their wake.
"Ahh the good old days," he said as he looked out into the setting sun. "I wish everyday was as good as today." A man walked up to him.
"Sir! Your tax refund!"
"Yes yes." He took it and put it in his pocket. "Every day. . ." he looked closer at the sun, despite how stupid this was he was having his little emotional time. "Father, some day I'll control more than you, and I'll hand it down to my son, and then his son, and soon we can rule the earth. Maybe when I die we can overthrow Satan or something. Nah. He sold me a house."
New chapter up soon. I like this one, even though it will be updated slowly. Review, please.