Our story begins in a park somewhere in the world. If you can think of a good park, suggestions are welcome.
As I was saying, before I interrupted myself about suggestions, our story begins in a park. A young boy named Cheesefluff is being told a story by his sweet old grampy. Let's take a close look, shall we?
"Grampy, what story are you going to tell me today? Is it about witches and knights and faeries?"
"What the heck is wrong with you young-uns these days?! Any old person you see on the street you automatically think they're your grandparents! I was TRYING to sit here and feed these darn pigeons, who could care less if I snapped their legs in two, when YOU come along ASKING for a story! What is that about?! HUH?! HUH?! TELL ME!"
"Oh grandpa, you're so senile," Cheesefluff chuckled. The old man just stared at him like those hairless cats stare at you when you're doing yoga. All wrinkly and creepy. It's disturbing 'cause you're afraid if you look at it for too long its skin will fall off. Oh well, back to the story.
"I love you, grandpa!" Cheesefluff told his hairless cat-like apprentice named Super Duck.
"I love you too, sonny-boy!" Super Duck said to Cheesefluff as they embraced in a hug. "Now get off me and I'll tell you a story." Cheesefluff flung himself on the ground, dug his nails into the stone walkway, and let out a shrill screech, which meant, "Oh yay! Story time! This is more fun than standing on the roof pouring cotton balls on people and telling them it's snowing!"
The story began.
"A long, long time ago, in a galaxy far away, Batman was on a date with the Easter Bunny and. . ."
"But grandpa, aren't Batman and the Easter Bunny both guys?" Super Duck thought about this for a minute.
"Yes. . .well. . .hmm. . .DEAL WITH IT! These things sometimes happen."
"OK, grandpa. It's kinda like when Daddy ran off with another man and left me with mommy, isn't it?" Super Duck just shook his head and continued.
"Anyhoo, Batman sat across the table from the Easter Bunny, gazing into his round bunny eyes. It just so happened that the Easter Bunny never talked, so when Batman talked to him, it was like talking to a blank wall with two eyes and a cookout wittle bunny nose! Awww!"
"Grandpa, how can a blank wall have eyes and a nose? Wouldn't it just. . ."
SHUT YOUR PICKY LITTLE MOUTH YOU THUMBSUCKING COW TURD! Let me finish my story."
ATTENTION!
WE, THE LITTLE FAERIES THAT LIVE IN SARAH'S HEAD AND GIVE HER IDEAS, WOULD LIKE TO INTERUPT THIS PROGRAM TO APOLOGIZE FOR ALL THE INTERRUPTIONS CAUSED BY THE INDIVIDUAL KNOWN AS CHEESEFLUFF. WE HAVE TAKEN THE APPROPRIATE ACTION TO KEEP THIS PERSON FROM INTERRUPTING THIS DELIGHTFUL STORY AGAIN. NOW, BACK TO THE SHOW!
"Thank you little faerie people," Super Duck said while sticking his tongue out at the now gagged, handcuffed, and tied to the bench Cheesefluff.
DON'T MENTION IT.
"Now, Batman was about to order his dinner when the Easter Bunny imploded.
'Well,' Batman pondered to himself, 'I don't want to be with anyone who implodes.' You see, Batman is shallow and doesn't need to have a complicated relationship with someone who implodes, explodes, whatever.
So, Batman dumped the Easter Bunny right then and there and made him pay the check. Then he ran away with the waitress who happened to be *DUN DUN DUN* Janet Reno. The End."
Cheesefluff just squirmed in his seat, since that's all he could do. Super Duck looked around for his pigeon friends, but they were no where to be seen. All he could see were two men in white coats running towards him. They grabbed him and took him back to the Happy Times Crazy Home. As for Cheesefluff, he's probably still tied to the bench, all dead and decaying.
And Batman and Janet Reno lived happily ever after.
THE END