Dear Journal,

Mom's back from Paris, but she'll be gone again next month. Somewhere in the Caribbean, I think. I had the usual conversation with her when she got home. A few changes were made, due to my circumstance, but all in all, it was the same old deal. But, since those changes were made in the first place, I'm going to recount them here, in my trusty journal that I haven't written in since I was five.

Mom: Hello dear.

Me: Hi Mom.

Mom: *walks past me, then stops and turns.* Aren't you supposed to be in school now? Why are you home?

Me: I got suspended for a week. Mom: What did you do?

Me: Made a watermelon explode on the principals' desk.

Mom: *sighs audibly* Well, make yourself useful while you're here, okay? Go...clean something.

Me: Alright.

And there you have it. We had dinner together later on. We talked again then. It went something like this:

Mom: How was your day, dear?

Me: Kind of boring.

Mom: Really? What did you do in school?

Me: Nothing. Wasn't in school today.
Mom: Oh? Why?

Me: I TOLD you! I got suspended!

Mom: Don't raise your voice at me, young man!

That's not word for word. My memory isn't that good.

Oh, she did tell me that I'll get to see Dad next month. When she goes to the Caribbean I'll be staying with him. Maybe Adam can sleep over or something, that'd be really great. I feel bad for getting Adam into trouble with the whole watermelon thing, I guess the Fruit Mafia will have to lie low for a while. But I will return, oh, yes, I always return, for I AM the Fruit Mafia, and the Fruit Mafia NEVER gives up, NEVER surrenders!

Except when it has to. Like, now for example. I am surrendering to teen angst. I HATE teen angst more than anything, and when it's SPOILED RICH KID ANGST I hate it even more! Goddamn it, why couldn't I have been born into a family that gave a shit about me? I have everything else: friends, a nice house, two dogs and a cat, plenty of money to buy the things I want with... Why don't I have a family?

Ugh. Spoiled rich kid angst. Hate it.

Whatever. It doesn't matter much. I mean, I have Adam. He was talking to me after he got back from school yesterday about detention. He said it was MAD lame, and really barely punishment at all. Almost wished I'd been there to witness the Lameness of it all!

IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT! The Fruit Mafia now has another member! Danduhduhnah! When I get back to school I will formally swear in Adam McDougal as a member. Hoohah!

~Benjamin Strillin

((AN: Well, here's another chapter of it! Ben's writing style is SO different from Adam's. It's less prose-y. Eh. Anywhoo, hope you enjoyed!))