2****
Darkness. I am deep inside. Which way is up? I want to go deeper, to lose myself to this greater sleep. Someone was calling to me. I am being sucked under layers of black sand and mud that I cannot see. I am buried in the deep, black earth. I cannot hear the voice which called my name. I think about how nice it would be to stay this way forever, and then I do not think at all.
"Oh God! Get a bucket, and get me some restraints, dammit!"
I'm shaking violently , I'm in some hard enclosure and I'm naked. I'm very warm. My ears are pounding painfully. Inside my head there is a roaring, horribly loud. My body is spasming, my arms and legs knocking against the enclosure.
My back arches suddenly and my eyes open wide. Something is inside me, trying to force it's way up my throat. I can't see clearly, everything is blurred. Hands grab at me. I'm screaming, my head knocking painfully against the porcelain basin. The pain is incredible. My chest heaves and my legs flop up and down.
"Help me with this!" Someone is screaming.
Suddenly my head is being forced down by strong hands. My mouth is being forced open with a cutting peice of metal. My body starts heaving violently.
"That's it! That's it! Get the tongs!"
I'm going under again. I can faintly hear the people yelling, I can faintly feel the pain. But I'm sinking, and it doesn't matter so much any more.
"I can see something! Get ready!"
Nothing. I feel nothing. And I notice that there is a light beneath me. I'm falling headfirst towards it.
"Christ, is that it? I think it's stuck!"
Blood. Feathers. Where am I? Where is she?
Pain, horrible, suffocating pain.
She's looking at me. She looked so apologetic.
"Here it comes!"
I dive after her. I see her, tumbling through the heavens. My wings are huge and magnificent, but they only make me slower in my descent. I know my fate even now, but I refused to let myself die like this!
"That's it, into the bucket now. A little more, a little more..." The spasms are dying off, and something dark and slimy falls from my throat. I can hear it scrambling below me, but I don't care any more. I sink back into the tub and close my eyes.
I slam into the water, my skin alive with pain. I can't see her anywhere. She knew, I thought, she knew that I would posses her in the fall, she knew that she would be transformed the moment her body hit the water. My bones were snapped, blood clouding the water. I can see faintly above the surface a figure in white looking down at me. I struggle for a moment to swim towards it, but I am losing consciousnes quickly; my vision clouding over.
Now there is nothing at all.
Warmth. Softness. The womb?
No.
Then where?
Open your eyes.
Slowly, very slowly, I open my eyes. I know I should feel vulnerable, I have no idea where I am, but it's hard to worry about those things when for the first time in ages you're warm and comfortable. Things come into focus a little; I'm lying on a black leather couch snug under two thick blankets. The room is sparsely furnished save for the couch and a large TV. Outside it is snowing still. The floor is wood and the walls are hung with black and white photographs of various-
Something moves against me. My eyes narrow; there's something under the covers with me. Cautiously I move away the blankets, hoping I wouldn't have to do something violent. My eyes widen as I see a head of royal blue hair pop up from under the fleece blanket.
Before I could pull the blanket further away I heard footsteps entering the room. "Oh, so you're awake."
Propping myself on an elbow I turn my head over my shoulder. He is holding a mug of coffee, steaming hot and I can smell it from over here. He hands it to me and I look at him.
"It's just normal, plain coffee. No complications. Drink it." He says. He sounds like he's telling the truth, so I put the mug to my lips. The coffee is bitter and doesn't taste at all like it smells, but it's warm and I need it.
As I am finishing the last of the coffee, he says;
"Benes wouldn't sleep in his own bed, he's stayed the whole night with you to keep you warm." a pause. Then, "you can be thankful he did. When we found you in the snow outside our house we thought you had been murdered."
I don't say anything. He is standing beside the couch, like one of the vampires that Manon had described to me while she was in my care. He is very beautiful, though I suspect he is only a head taller than I am, and I posses the height of a child. His hair is a soft brown and comes down to his lower back, his head tied in a green and brown kercheif. His jaw is square and on it grows light stubble. His features seem soft but for the peircing green and silver eyes hiding behind the whisps of hair hanging from beneath the scarf. His clothes are unusual for this world; he wears a light gray skirt reaching his ankles and an olive turtleneck that fits tightly on his thin frame.
"How do you feel?" He says.
"Alright." My voice is even rockier than before. I have not yet forgotten the stranger that lies beneath the covers, but I would leave him alone for now.
"My name is Balthamos, by the way. What should I call you?"
"It's allright. We know what you are. Or partialy at least. You're not going to find any other allies close by, atleast give us something to go by."
I sit up a little more, not liking the sudden expostiton of my nature. Still, this Balthamos didn't seem disturbed by it, so I would side with him for now.
"Before I came here, the host called me 'Xevv.'" To my surprise, the utterance of my name felt good. "They call me 'banished' and 'dead' now."
"To call you something like that is a direct insult in my eyes. We'll stick with 'Xevv,' for now, I think." He said. He looked around, and I was struck again with how...real...he seemed, so much more grounded in this world than I was, ironicaly. "Let's talk more in the kitchen."
My legs felt weak and shaky, not for the first time since my birth. The apartment was totaly human, unrevealing and alien. I didn't feel good at all; my head was still fuzzy and sick from waking up, and the nausea didn't go well with the warm coffee sloshing around in my empty stomach. The robe I wore was much too big for me and I had to make sure I didn't trip and fall as I followed Balthamos into the kitchen. He bade me sit down at the small little table in the center.
"Do you think you can eat solids?"
"I...I don't know."
"Ok, well try eating this." Balthamos placed a plate of hot syrupy cakes before me. My stomach lurched inside me, but I cut into it and held it before my mouth. It was too much. My insides churned, and into the plate I drooled black, grainy vomit.
"I guess you weren't." He took the plate away and covered my mouth with a napkin. "You know, if this happened anywhere else they'd send you to a lab. Normal little girls don't spit up black bile at the sight of freshly baked pankackes."
I mumbled in reply into the napkin.
"Pardon?" he said, wiping away the last of the vomit.
"I'm not a little girl."
"No, you're not. But you have the look of a little girl, though I couldn't say how old...between eight and ten is my guess."
He gave me a glass of water. "Don't swallow it. Spit it out into the sink. You don't want to walk around with black teeth."
I wiped my mouth afterwards. I ate the jello he gave me without a problem, thought I didn't like the taste much.
"So tell me. What were you doing lying on the sidewalk in the snow in front of my apartment?"
"I was looking to see if a friend was in the neighborhood." I said.
Balthamos leaned back against the counter, the coffee mug in his hand steaming. His expression remained deadpan.
"Do you want to tell me how you came to this plane of existence?"
I lowered my eyes. "Not really. Ask the host."
"Your energy signature isn't one of an angel's."
"No." I looked up. "I was more than an angel. Much, much more." I shut my eyes, not wanting to remember the feeling of power that I had taken for granted once. "You're not so human yourself."
"No." Balthamos said, after a moment. "I didn't think you'd be able to tell. Seems like you can still read some things."
"So what are you?"
"Just a demon. No high rank in hell, I come from the wastelands. The door opened last summer; I chose to keep a low profile in the human world."
"And Benes?"
"I'm not sure. There's something holy about him, but he doesn't hold the signature of an angel. Even if he was an Archangel, beings like us would still be able to break through whatever sheilds he could put up."
I didn't say anything.
Benes walked into the kitchen. He leaned against the doorframe, smiling lazily at us. He was very tall, taller than Balthamos. He wore a pair of black jeans and socks, and a silver cross around his neck. His hair was a deep blue and the cut reminded me of half an easter egg, the jagged edges coming over his forehead.
Balthamos looked over at me, and his eyes narrowed, and I couldn't tell what sort of expression it was. "There's fresh clothes for you in the bathroom, Xevv. They belonged to a friend of mine, I think they should fit you." I nodded, knowing to leave without argument. As I walked, I felt a gentle power reach into my limbs, fortifying them and taking the sickness out.
The bathroom was, like the rest of the apartment, plain and non- descript. Folded over the toilet was violet jumper and an ivory shirt. I put them on, at once liking the fit of both, like a second skin. Beneath the dress was a pair of underwear that I put on, deciding to comply with human custom. There were long socks that went over my hips, and they were warm and thick and striped purple and black. At last, my legs felt comfortable. Next to the toilet were a pair of shiny black boots. I slipped into them, and by some enchantment they laced up by themselves, reaching up to my mid-calf. They were perfect fit, hugging my skinny legs and glistening smartly in the light.
"How do you like them?"
I nodded.
"Good. We've decided to let you stay here a few days, until you figure out what to do with yourself." Balthamos walked out of the bathroom.
What to do with myself?