5Country is yet another genre of popular music among young and old individuals alike. If you have tried techno, and find it boring, if you have tried metal, and found it a little too heavy for your liking, or maybe a little bit too angry, you may just be on the right track by starting in the wonderful world of Country.
GETTING STARTED: To get started, all you need is to be from Texas, or to be able to pretend that you are. Have the accent, say I-yi (two syllables), and Ya'll a lot.
GO SHOPPING: Go to a western-wear store, purchase a cowboy hat and cowboy boots. If you're a male, also purchase a flannel or denim shirt, and a pair of Levi Jeans. If you're a female, dye your hair blonde (if it isn't already) get huge tits (if you don't already.) After you've bought your show clothing or 'do/ body, you need a guitar. Get a huge acoustic guitar with a very mellow yet still a twang sound. Now, go to Nashville.
LEARN TO PLAY: Yes, you do actually need to play when you are a country star. Well. kind of. Just learn some nice country chords. all you need is G, C, D, Am, and Em. That'll be enough. Play them at a moderate pace, and make the strum pattern. 1 2& 3 4&
PUT ON YOUR THINKING CAP: Now, don't think just because you're gonna be a hick that you don't have to really think. You can take the easy way, and remake everybody else's classic tunes. Or, if you wanna be semi-original, write your own songs. If you're a male, write songs about your truck and your big boobed lady. If you're a female, write about your truck loving man. Use words like "Cowboy". (ex: My cowboy's a lovin' one. not My husband's a loving one) Make sure that you use slang. (lovin', ain't, swingin', etc.)
PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER: Sing your truck song with your 1 2& 3 4& pattern of chords. Sing with a southern accent, of course. Smile and look pretty. If you're a man, kick your feet and yell "YAHOO!" randomly. If you're a woman, make sure to wear a revealing dress and yell "Yeeeeeehaw!" really loud at least once in every song. Smile a lot. It would help get the men if you spanked yourself. or spanked the man you're doing a country hick duet with. Either way is fine.
SHOWNAME: Use your own name if it's something simple. (Garth Brooks) If it's not something simple, (Emily Yanigida) then simply make up a simple name for yourself, but make sure it has a ring. (Garth has a country feel. Shania has a country feel. etc. etc.)
Good Luck Mr/Ms. Simple-named!